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AIBU?

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Original poster

Can someone be too fertile?

418 replies

ByTheBlueBay · 14/02/2018 12:13

I was on the pill for 6 years before I came off it. We conceived DD when we didn't use a condom once. Literally, once. I know once is all it takes but it was a shock.

Anyway since having DD we always used a condom. However it wasn't used straight away, there'd be a few pumps first (TMI). We'd only have sex once a month or so but I still managed to fall pregnant on DH's precum.

Am I super fertile? I had a termination and we haven't had sex since. I'm too scared. I'm considering the implant but I'm not sure how the hormones will affect me with depression and anxiety.

OP posts:
kirinm · 14/02/2018 13:43

How is this insensitive? Not being able to get pregnant is awful as is not being able to stay pregnant but you don't get to tell people what they can and can't ask questions about.

RandomDreams · 14/02/2018 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Dobbythesockelf · 14/02/2018 13:44

You had unprotected sex and became pregnant. Of course some people are more fertile, but you didn't get pregnant because you are more fertile you got pregnant because you had unprotected sex. If you can't use condoms properly and consistently you need to look into other contraception if you don't want to get pregnant.

theEagleIsLost · 14/02/2018 13:44

It is unlikely for someone to fall pregnant without the man ejaculating, the women who have are the exception to the rule.

It still increases the risk of falling pg more than using the condom as you are meant to - in this case causing an unwanted pg.

Honestly Op go and talk to the GP - see what options you have and talk it through with them. They always say there are lower homones in the miriam coil, there are none in copper coil -and if your worried about falling pg you can double up - something and condoms used correctly.

ColaCube22 · 14/02/2018 13:55

mummyoflittledragon it's okay, I genuinely wasn't offended at Pengggwyn's comment. I laughed a little to be honest. So keen to speak on behalf of people with fertility issues but when someone who actually has suffered responds, they respond like that. It Thankfully our last embryo worked and I'm 16 +6 now.
Even on the darkest of days I wouldn't have taken offence to the OP's post, I probably wouldn't of even clicked on it because it's quite clear it could be upsetting!
Everybody is on their own journey, have their own struggles and need to talk about things, trying to censor post like this one is ridiculous.

Pengggwn · 14/02/2018 14:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ColaCube22 · 14/02/2018 14:14

I'm fine with what was said, I'm not upset, offended, ticked off or whatever by what you said-your entitled to say it.
People are going to make assumptions by the what they read when it's not clear, I took your response to a post that you haven't suffered so for that I apologise for saying you were speaking on behalf of people with Fertily issues not as someone that has had/is.
My point was just that if someone is upset then they will say it and that the post really wasn't that bad, the title was a give away about the conversation and if someone was sensitive to it they were not going to want to click on it. It's not as if she posted the question under the category "infertility" or "ttc"

Pengggwn · 14/02/2018 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/02/2018 14:19

Colacube
I totally agree, everyone is on their own journey. Good luck with your pregancy. Smile. You’ll be a beached whale during some of the hottest months of the year. I was too. That was fun. Grin

ColaCube22 · 14/02/2018 14:20

Thank you Pengggwn :) Flowers
Sometimes I wish we could just hear recordings of people's responses...it's hard to pick up the right tone of a message and things can be picked up wrong.

ColaCube22 · 14/02/2018 14:22

Thank you Mummyoflittledragon SmileFlowers
Hahaha, brilliant, im very pale too so I'm guessing I'll look like Moby Dick.

Booboostwo · 14/02/2018 15:13

I think I understand what you mean OP. I had been on the pill for more than 10 years and my GP insisted I have a break. Two weeks after I had stopped I had a condom break and I fell pregnant. Of course I know how conception works, but it was still a huge shock. While entirely possible, it was quite improbable so quite shocking.

13 years on from then it took me 14 months of TTC for DD and another 14 months of TTC for DS, though.

FlightStrike · 14/02/2018 16:19

Wow, guys, is the absolute pile on absolutely necessary? Do we have to mock someone's lack of education and shame her for asking a question in the same thread?

Yes, OP is an example of why practicing safe sex is important. No, OP isn't necessarily more fertile than average. Both these things can be expressed without sarcastically berating a woman for expressing surprise that she got pregnant when there was no ejaculation. That is actually fairly uncommon.

Being pregnant when you don't want to be is distressing. Infertility is a very painful issue. I'm not comfortable suggesting women who find themselves unwantedly pregnant should censor themselves because of that.

OutyMcOutface · 14/02/2018 16:21

No, that's pretty normal. Most women get pregnant when having unprotected sex.

HarveyKietelRabbit · 14/02/2018 16:48

I'm not sure what you mean by 'too fertile' you had a man put semen inside you when you were obviously in the few days a month you can conceive. And you did.

itshappening · 14/02/2018 17:00

I see no indication that you are more than averagely fertile OP. You are just failing in proper use of contraception. It can happen first time for anyone who is fertile, doesn't mean that will be the case again but each time you have unprotected sex at the right time in your cycle there is a chance. The other times it doesn't matter if you only had sex once, it was the timing.....you could have had sex every day except during the fertile window and nothing would have happened. If you were regularly having unprotected sex I am not surprised at all, semen in pre cum can do it.

What you are too fertile to do (like anyone who is fertile at all) is to have unprotected sex when you do not want to get pregnant. You just need to accept using contraception properly and you won't have an issue.

TheCatsPaws · 14/02/2018 17:03

The title of this thread is a smack in the face to those struggling to conceive, as is saying you had unprotected sex once and then terminated because you didn’t want to.

I thought this thread was about the link between conceiving easily and multiple losses.

Grow up OP, and use some contraception.

itshappening · 14/02/2018 17:03

Ps I think the 'pile on' is because fertility is a sensitive topic for many, and it is (in the nicest possible way OP) a bit thoughtless to post about being 'too fertile' when that is so clearly ridiculous in this context. To be fair OP, perhaps you are just exceptionally ignorant about contraception and your DP is too, but really see this as an opportunity to take full responsibility. There are rare accidents, but you didn't have one.

kirinm · 14/02/2018 17:22

Is this in the infertility section or the pregnancy section? No, it's in AIBU so I'd be really interested to hear why it's insensitive? People struggling with fertility is a fact of life as is people struggling with miscarriages etc. However horrendous that is for those suffering doesn't give anyone the right to shout someone's post down.

Hey, I get pregnant easily too. Unfortunately for me, I also lose babies easily as well. I'm not going to comment on how insensitive someone discussing abortion is or their newborns on a completely unrelated thread in a completely unrelated topic. There's some faux outrage here and the OP doesn't deserve it.

BartholinsSister · 14/02/2018 18:18

Pre-cum is weird, some guys make none, others are practically dripping as soon as they're hard.

Gigimoll · 14/02/2018 18:23

No.. But I agree with the thread being taken down. It is common sense and yes, you can conceive on precum.

There will however be a lot of women struggling ttc who may be upset by it

Bambamber · 14/02/2018 18:28

Get yourself along to a GUM clinic and have a chat with them. They can talk you through different contraception and give you some extra information to stop this situation happening again

demirose87 · 14/02/2018 18:33

I think we should give OP a break. I don't think she set out to upset people who are struggling to conceive and she asked a fair question. Maybe she's been a little careless and hasn't got her facts straight about conception but the majority of women don't have fertility problems and though it is very sad, and I won't know truly how it feels as I have four kids, it's not the fault of people who can conceive easily.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 14/02/2018 18:49

Please stop calling it 'precum' (yuck). It is SEMEN.

LoveB · 14/02/2018 19:04

OP I'm with you. Might get flamed for this but my understanding is you can't get pregnant from pre cum (sorry ladyMonica).

If they've done a wee since their last ejaculation, the wee kills sperm.

However if they've ejaculated and not done a wee before the next session, semen will still be hanging around.