To wonder if you can actually meet someone nice when obese?

[silenthorror]

Before I get flamed to a crisp, I’m 100% talking about me!

I need to lose a good 5stone to be a healthy BMI, although generally speaking I can live with being a stone or so overweight. So 4stone at a minimum.

I’ve never had any interest from men really. And I can’t help but think it’s the fact I’m fat My parents used to lecture me about it and say I was just too big and it would put most boys off.

I know people will say they are overweight with a lovely husband but were you that size when you met?

I would welcome honesty

Once there was a beautiful house newly built for a very rich couple. The house was perfect, but the couple kept trying to change and fix it when it wasn't broke. Then they moved on and left the house for many years. The house went to rack and ruin in neglect, it lost it's soul, it's energy, until one day someone bought it, this person saw so much potential in this sad little house and set to work to restore it to it's former glory. This took time and a lot of work, but with love and patience, hope and vision and creativity, the house came back to life. If you pass this house today, you will see something truly amazing and beautiful. Just goes to show you never know what can be achieved if you decide to do it. Of course the house was fortunate that someone saw the potential, could of been a different outcome otherwise.

Pen

I’m really sorry to be so rude, but I’m finding your posts awfully unhelpful now. I am feeling quite patronised and I imagine that’s not your intention.

Silent.....no definately not my intention. I will bow out and wish you well xx

The problem is, @silenthorror that it's impossible for us to know what you want us to say. Do you want us to agree with you, that yes your cause is hopeless, you won't find love as you're too fat? Or do you want reassurance that it doesn't have to be the case, as quite a lot of posters have shared from their own experiences?

What I mostly get from your posts is that you're lonely and possibly depressed. Maybe the best thing would be to talk through what you're feeling with a therapist. You get no judgement, they just give you space to talk through what you're feeling and find the right solutions for yourself.

Posters here are only trying to help.

I met my exh whilst a size 16, said he was happy with me, turns out he wasn't
I've now met someone who accepts me as I am - a size 18/20 and I can be who I am/who I lost when married; a strong, confident and secure woman. We met online (infrequent evening social life with a child) and I put full length pics on my profile so he was able to get a good idea of the whole of me.

Discover your confidence and that alone will attract possible suitors to you! Good luck

sorry I found pens post rather lovely.

I find them a bit off. They sound as if she is trying to mould Silent into the woman that fits her discourse. It doesn’t seem to me like Silent is that woman so I can see why she is finding them patronising (I am finding them very evangelical 😁)

Honestly...

Well, it felt a bit like a junior school assembly to me

It’s possible to appreciate the intent but still get it a little bit off the mark!

Hey Silent, how are you today?

OP, you come across as a nice, intelligent person. To answer your original question, of course it’s possible to find love at any size (or age).

You sound lonely and you’ve said yourself you’re looking for solace in food. Why not fill your evenings and weekends with something else - join a gym is my suggestion. All those happy hormones exercise will produce will do wonders for your mental health.

Consider something like Curves, a women-only gym if you’re feeling self-conscious. There will be loads of women there who are your size (or have been your size previously).

Good luck

Hope you are ok op