Pathetic rant but who ibu?

[Melonjelly]

Just been to a fairly large supermarket with dp and 2 dc. Youngest one was out of trolley and running around. He kept kicking off when we put him in the trolley.

We were in the veg aisle when I said to dp I need to pop to the loo, can you stay with the kids.

I went to the loo and was there for less than 2 mins. I come back to the veg aisle where I thought he would be. He's not there. I start scanning all the other veg aisles. No sign of him or kids. I traipse up the cooked meat aisle (we didn't need a lot of food, just a few bits and bobs). Again no sign of him. I walk up to the other end of the store to see if he's gone to get milk. Not there. I go to the bread aisle. Not there. I think to myself I wonder if he's taken the boys to look at toys to keep them distracted. I walked down the other end of the (large) shop. Not there. I go out of the store to see if he's making his way to the car. Nope.

I go back inside and search every aisle looking for him. Still no sign. I ring him. Supermarket is the worst for signal. If goes straight to vm. I try again. Straight to vm. I search around some more. Still can't see him. I try calling him twice more. Voicemail.

I go in front of the tills and search every single one. Not there. I eventually ring him and it gets through. He's at the doorway to the store, he's bought and paid the shopping. So ten to fifteen minutes I spent traipsing aisles searching for him.

He did the same last week and Again I spent a good ten minutes searching for him. When I eventually found him I said if I go to the loo can you please wait where you are so I can find you again.

So today I was fuming that he'd done it again.

He said 'dc2 was running off so I just wanted to get the shopping done and get out of there' so I said you'll have to put him in the trolley and teach the kids to wait so I can find you.

He said 'all you care about is ME ME ME, you're not bothered about what I want and the fact that the kids are hard work and I just wanted to get out of there'  to which I said you're missing the point, if you have waited I'd have been back in a couple of minutes. He's accused me of being selfish and asked me 'how hard is it to find me when you knew where I was going?' ??? Erm very considering I looked and looked again and you weren't fucking there you arsehole!!

So Who was being unreasonable! Even if you tell me I am it doesn't make him being a tosser any less of a tosser.

Anyhoo! No harm done! Kids got their bedding, Yay.
And everyone is back home and warm, Yay!
Just chill OP, it's just not worth getting stressed about.

*Strike out isn’t working for me

If I can't find my husband I send a text to say that I am looking for him. Then hop it to the cafe or browse around in a relaxed fashion for a while before we finally locate each other. Free time -yippee !!
We don't have a car, so if we can't find one another then we have an understanding that we'd text t'other to let them know we are going to go home, and will start making dinner lie on the settee watching crap tv until they get home too.
Do this, enjoy your coffee/free time next week.

Well, I'm pretty much a lone voice then in saying that this would get on my tits too. I've been shopping with a friend who just disappears into thin air if you leave her side for a moment. I then have to spend the next 15 minutes trying to find her (and she never answers her fucking phone either, so it's pointless ringing). I've usually whipped myself up into a lather by the time I've found her and she just casually laughs and finds it funny 😡 So I'm on your side. He should stay put for 2 minutes - you come back from the loo, meet back up and carry on altogether.

Fine I'll ask him to clarify his plans in future when I pop to the loo. And the next time I come on here to ent and say actually he didn't stick to the plan you can all tell me again how U I am being even though we preagreed s plan last week. Logic... does... not... compute!!!

It's Saturday night.... Let's all just have a glass of wine and hit Netflix

Oh no I'm cool with him right now but he's an annoying bugger who gets under my skin.

holymountain, strikeout always works if you do it properly

Yabu. Chill out.

Stick a long upright pole with a flag at the top on him when you pop for your wee. Problem solved. It'd just be bobbing about by the ceiling..

I'm glad you get how frustrating it is @Fosterdog123

It's time I could have spent doing other thing rather than play headless chicken looking for someone who could have waited two damn minutes and put youngest back in the trolley to howl

Pole might work

Vent on relationships if you don't even want to entertain the responses on AIBU...

At best this Is mildly inconvenient - to still be fuming over it and arguing the toss with strangers on mumsnet makes me wonder if more is going on with your relationship OP.

OP .... it's over. Finished. Done with. No harm was done. Everyone is still alive and well. The shopping was done. The kids got their bedding. Just relax and chill.

The majority of people on here think you were unreasonable. And to be honest the more you stubbornly cling to the idea that you aren't unreasonable, the more unreasonable you seem. But it's not a big deal. Next time just communicate to him where you would like him to be. Problem solved.

Let it go. That way maybe you'll enjoy your evening.

I am chilled, just annoying having to justify every little thing right down to how long it takes me to pee to a bunch of strangers on MN. Me and do are fine now. But I wanted to vent because it's frustrating. So I have done. Thanks.

I've only read the OP but my immediate thoughts are that these things happen and would be solved by getting walkie-talkies. (I went to Poundland and Asda today - it was hell on earth for me so I can empathise with you both.)

Yeah and as I said he is shit at listening and doesn't tell me things that might seem trivial but are actually inconvenient. As an isolated incident yes it's unreasonable of me. To live with him is beyond a fucking night mare, having to rearrange every aspect of my life right down to childcare issues because he just doesn't think nor remember anything nor talk nor listen! This is one of the milder frustrations. But sure judge away!

Jeez OP have a and chill out.

It's over.

Ok OP. You are absolutely not being unreasonable - you are clearly a totally chilled person and you were 100% in the right. Mr Melonjelly needs to go and commit harakiri forthwith.

just annoying having to justify every little thing right down to how long it takes me to pee to a bunch of strangers on MN

But you chose to ask a bunch of strangers on MN no? And you chose to keep arguing with said bunch of strangers when they said they thought you were unreasonable, no?

You didn't have to justify anything. You could have not asked. Or you could have accepted people's opinions once you had asked for them.

Reading this post it sound quite pathetic BUT I totally understand this OP.
I can pop to get something come back and other half is nowhere to be seen.
It is totally infuriating. Its like taking out 3 children instead of 2. I am demented by the end of a food shop.
Although my other half never pays. At least you have that small joy I suppose.

Judge away Jellycat. He's a fucking nightmare to live with.

But sure judge away!

Well, you asked. That’s how AIBU works.

I see Melon- you're problems are wider than this issue re shopping.

If you are unhappy re the sharing of chores/housework/childcare within your relationship, then address this. Sniping about unimportant things, whilst not resolving bigger issues, will not help you in the slightest.