Pathetic rant but who ibu?

[Melonjelly]

Just been to a fairly large supermarket with dp and 2 dc. Youngest one was out of trolley and running around. He kept kicking off when we put him in the trolley.

We were in the veg aisle when I said to dp I need to pop to the loo, can you stay with the kids.

I went to the loo and was there for less than 2 mins. I come back to the veg aisle where I thought he would be. He's not there. I start scanning all the other veg aisles. No sign of him or kids. I traipse up the cooked meat aisle (we didn't need a lot of food, just a few bits and bobs). Again no sign of him. I walk up to the other end of the store to see if he's gone to get milk. Not there. I go to the bread aisle. Not there. I think to myself I wonder if he's taken the boys to look at toys to keep them distracted. I walked down the other end of the (large) shop. Not there. I go out of the store to see if he's making his way to the car. Nope.

I go back inside and search every aisle looking for him. Still no sign. I ring him. Supermarket is the worst for signal. If goes straight to vm. I try again. Straight to vm. I search around some more. Still can't see him. I try calling him twice more. Voicemail.

I go in front of the tills and search every single one. Not there. I eventually ring him and it gets through. He's at the doorway to the store, he's bought and paid the shopping. So ten to fifteen minutes I spent traipsing aisles searching for him.

He did the same last week and Again I spent a good ten minutes searching for him. When I eventually found him I said if I go to the loo can you please wait where you are so I can find you again.

So today I was fuming that he'd done it again.

He said 'dc2 was running off so I just wanted to get the shopping done and get out of there' so I said you'll have to put him in the trolley and teach the kids to wait so I can find you.

He said 'all you care about is ME ME ME, you're not bothered about what I want and the fact that the kids are hard work and I just wanted to get out of there'  to which I said you're missing the point, if you have waited I'd have been back in a couple of minutes. He's accused me of being selfish and asked me 'how hard is it to find me when you knew where I was going?' ??? Erm very considering I looked and looked again and you weren't fucking there you arsehole!!

So Who was being unreasonable! Even if you tell me I am it doesn't make him being a tosser any less of a tosser.

Well you obviously don't think yabu so why bother post? As pp said if you just want to vent try the relationships board instead.

Yeah true @DeathStare but someone upthread questioned my peeing and washing hands in two minutes. I don't see a) how it's relevant and b) it's not hard to do! It don't fuck about on a toilet normally. Piss, wipe, flush, wash and go

Me and do are fine now

To live with him is beyond a fucking night mare

He's a fucking nightmare to live with

Which one is it?

Yeah aibu isn't the place.

Is both. We're fine now as in it's over and done with. But his traits aren't just gonna go away. And he is a nightmare to live with. I didn't realise the two were mutually exclusive.

You regularly go to the loo halfway round the supermarket?
That would drive me up the wall if my DH did that

This.

YABVU

If I were him, I'd start a thread asking: Aibu to think my partner can use the toilet before we do our supermarket shop? (honestly, it's like having a small child)...

your right, it isn't the place if you don't want to actually know if yabu or not .

Wanna try living with him and finding out for yourself how he'll forget to pick up the oldest from after school club or how he'll pick him up from after school club when it's my turn and not bother to tell me so I drove home from work and go to the school only to be told dcs dad had already collected him. Sure, that's a fun surprise for a mundane week.

Or when he arranges time off work to look after the oldest for half term, then his work rings up and asks him if he can work and he agrees without checking, leaving me short on childcare.

You telling me his not a pita? Lack of communication is his forte!!

So did you let him know the general MN consensus OP

He does sound pretty useless to be fair.

Forgive me for having bladder sensitivity!

You see, those are much better examples.

And you said you went to the toilet before leaving and again at the supermarket? I can see why your dp thought you was literally taking the piss. Just how long were you in the supermarket?

I will let him know later but he'll think it gets him off the hook for being useless in other areas.

Hope a shit bladder doesn't blight your life @ThisLittleKitty

But if he'd finished why didn't he wait by the loos so he got you as you came out?

Next time take as long as you can in there, then go straight to the exit and wait for him there. Or fill your time at the paper aisle reading the headlines.

My dh does disappear when I go to the loo in hte shop. It's v annoying, but if he's finished and paid he waits in clear view near the exit (still inside the shop) and I tend to see him there. He used to disappear completely, but I eventually realised he was nipping off to the pub next door; we've moved from there though, and there is no pub for him poor sod. He also like to check what I'm buying so he doesn't really want me to fill up a trolley without him - and he knows I'll forget to buy beer or wine!

Haven't read the whole thread...

But why tf do couples insist on dragging kids to the super market?

One of you stay at home with the kids for God's sake. The kids don't wanna be there and they get in the way of everyone else. Not to mention the noise of crying n screeching

Also can't you piss before doing the food shop?

Dripfeed galore.

If you knew it was a small shop, you could have just waited by the door in full view of the tills and main aisle.

I wouldn't mind if he said meet you at the front, I'll carry on shopping. But he doesn't. He's notoriously shit with communication both saying what he's doing and listening to people.

From this isolated incident, I would say you were both shit at communication, and you additionally have issues with looking for and locating people in supermarkets and are quick to get cross about it!

There are loads of fun and that scenario could have been avoided but it’s not really logical at all to expect your DH to wait with a screamy toddler. He waited by the exit which was logical.

If I hadn't have rung (rang?) him for the fifth time when he got outside I guarantee he wouldn't have called me. He would have just waltzed to the car and expected me to 'know' with those psychic abilities I've been gifted with it's only cos I rang him when he got outside and his signal came back to life that he answered his phone.

loads of fun

loads of ways

I’m sure it wasn’t loads of fun!

Then rtft purple robe before making comments that have been made for the umpteenth time

And if he'd gone to the car? @IntoTheFloodAgain

You picked the wrong issue to post about OP! If you'd picked one of the others you'd have had a lot more support I suspect

You could have sent him a text which he’d have received when his signal came back. Not hard is it.

If you were ‘two minutes’ I doubt he’d have been outside before you.