Pathetic rant but who ibu?

[Melonjelly]

Just been to a fairly large supermarket with dp and 2 dc. Youngest one was out of trolley and running around. He kept kicking off when we put him in the trolley.

We were in the veg aisle when I said to dp I need to pop to the loo, can you stay with the kids.

I went to the loo and was there for less than 2 mins. I come back to the veg aisle where I thought he would be. He's not there. I start scanning all the other veg aisles. No sign of him or kids. I traipse up the cooked meat aisle (we didn't need a lot of food, just a few bits and bobs). Again no sign of him. I walk up to the other end of the store to see if he's gone to get milk. Not there. I go to the bread aisle. Not there. I think to myself I wonder if he's taken the boys to look at toys to keep them distracted. I walked down the other end of the (large) shop. Not there. I go out of the store to see if he's making his way to the car. Nope.

I go back inside and search every aisle looking for him. Still no sign. I ring him. Supermarket is the worst for signal. If goes straight to vm. I try again. Straight to vm. I search around some more. Still can't see him. I try calling him twice more. Voicemail.

I go in front of the tills and search every single one. Not there. I eventually ring him and it gets through. He's at the doorway to the store, he's bought and paid the shopping. So ten to fifteen minutes I spent traipsing aisles searching for him.

He did the same last week and Again I spent a good ten minutes searching for him. When I eventually found him I said if I go to the loo can you please wait where you are so I can find you again.

So today I was fuming that he'd done it again.

He said 'dc2 was running off so I just wanted to get the shopping done and get out of there' so I said you'll have to put him in the trolley and teach the kids to wait so I can find you.

He said 'all you care about is ME ME ME, you're not bothered about what I want and the fact that the kids are hard work and I just wanted to get out of there'  to which I said you're missing the point, if you have waited I'd have been back in a couple of minutes. He's accused me of being selfish and asked me 'how hard is it to find me when you knew where I was going?' ??? Erm very considering I looked and looked again and you weren't fucking there you arsehole!!

So Who was being unreasonable! Even if you tell me I am it doesn't make him being a tosser any less of a tosser.

your Husband was a Dick... he deliberately did the opposite of what you requested... instead of saying.. you go to the Loo.. I'll finish up here and meet you at the car... he did it deliberately and ignored you calls... he's a Dick

Next time leave them all at home and go do the shopping in peace.

It depends what we're doing. Youngest had outgrown his cot bed so we've just bought them new bunks. Thought it would nice to let them pick new bedding and use oldest dcs as spares when the new ones are being washed. It was dps suggestion to do that.

How weird.

I’d have put my dc in the trolley regardless, because I hate when kids run wild around a supermarket.
Equally, I’d check to see if dp had finished the shopping while I was gone, because that would be the logical thing to do, IMO.

I’d especially check if he’d done exactly that the time before!

Winnie did you read all my posts? I did put dc in trolley. Dp took him out again!

He wasn't being a dick at all, and he didn't answer his phone because he had no signal!!

He didn’t ignore the calls, he didn’t have a signal.

I don’t think he’s a dick for not standing completely still with two rampaging kids while OP went to the toilet.

And yes it's his lack of communication that's irking me. As it was only last week the same thing happened (though he never managed to complete the big shop by himself last week so never got to the door). And I communicated there and then that I'd prefer him to wait for me. And his said in future he would!

YADBU op, standard practice to carry on with the shopping and meet at the tills or the exit.

If I'm looking for someone I walk up the central isle that gives the best views then look down every isle left and right then do the tills and exit. You must be brilliant at hide and seek because I bet you never find anyone.

never said it was right where we where last week. I'm saying the same thing happened last week but a different bunch of aisle entirely

So when you left to go to the loo today why didn't you simply say "Where shall I meet you?"

This one is pretty unanimous OP. You were being unreasonable.

And the oldest son is well behaved and knows not to run off so he doesn't. Only the youngest.

Hate supermarket loos, hate seeing children running around supermarkets also. Always left mine with my partner or went when they were in school etc.

I never take my Younger DC shopping because I know they will want toys n generally not sit in the trolley. I will even go shopping at 6 in the morning while they r sleeping to avoid it and never at the weekend. One of you should have stayed home.

But he finished the shopping which was good so can't c the problem.

My mum does this, I lover her dearly but it grates on my nerves especially when she sends me to get something she forgot , she’s says I’ll wait here. I’m literally gon 1 minute, when I come back she’s like 5 aisles along.

And yes I walked up and down the majority of the aisles to get the best view including the central one. So I'm not a moron.

Mind truly boggled.

Online shopping is your friend OP. Can't think of many things worse than food shopping with the family in tow.

have them choose bedding at home, or indeed not at all if they're going to behave badly

It's a necessity sometimes to go with kids. I dont get much head space for online shopping in my current circumstances

Oh! Did the dc get to pick their bedding with him?

We'd already picked them by the time I said I was off to the loo

Melon, with all due respect I think it probably takes more headspace to tackle a supermarket with the kids on a Saturday afternoon.

Go to the toilet before you leave home next time like we expect children to!! Your partner is not a naughty child to be told to stand still and wait for you. Maybe time to go to Specsavers too although I wouldn't recommend them as I found them to be rubbish.

@quizqueen as stated I did go before we left.

Well if I can't see someone because they're not in view then what can I say? Maybe you can rewrite the laws of physics

OP it sounds like you and your H can well do without the stresses of food shopping on a weekend with both children. Surely it would be easier for you to do it with a glass of wine in the evening once they're in bed?

If not and you do go next Saturday make sure you've had a wee and that H knows not to go through the checkout if you do nip to the loo!