Pathetic rant but who ibu?

[Melonjelly]

Just been to a fairly large supermarket with dp and 2 dc. Youngest one was out of trolley and running around. He kept kicking off when we put him in the trolley.

We were in the veg aisle when I said to dp I need to pop to the loo, can you stay with the kids.

I went to the loo and was there for less than 2 mins. I come back to the veg aisle where I thought he would be. He's not there. I start scanning all the other veg aisles. No sign of him or kids. I traipse up the cooked meat aisle (we didn't need a lot of food, just a few bits and bobs). Again no sign of him. I walk up to the other end of the store to see if he's gone to get milk. Not there. I go to the bread aisle. Not there. I think to myself I wonder if he's taken the boys to look at toys to keep them distracted. I walked down the other end of the (large) shop. Not there. I go out of the store to see if he's making his way to the car. Nope.

I go back inside and search every aisle looking for him. Still no sign. I ring him. Supermarket is the worst for signal. If goes straight to vm. I try again. Straight to vm. I search around some more. Still can't see him. I try calling him twice more. Voicemail.

I go in front of the tills and search every single one. Not there. I eventually ring him and it gets through. He's at the doorway to the store, he's bought and paid the shopping. So ten to fifteen minutes I spent traipsing aisles searching for him.

He did the same last week and Again I spent a good ten minutes searching for him. When I eventually found him I said if I go to the loo can you please wait where you are so I can find you again.

So today I was fuming that he'd done it again.

He said 'dc2 was running off so I just wanted to get the shopping done and get out of there' so I said you'll have to put him in the trolley and teach the kids to wait so I can find you.

He said 'all you care about is ME ME ME, you're not bothered about what I want and the fact that the kids are hard work and I just wanted to get out of there'  to which I said you're missing the point, if you have waited I'd have been back in a couple of minutes. He's accused me of being selfish and asked me 'how hard is it to find me when you knew where I was going?' ??? Erm very considering I looked and looked again and you weren't fucking there you arsehole!!

So Who was being unreasonable! Even if you tell me I am it doesn't make him being a tosser any less of a tosser.

Op you're just plain rude

There's the comprehension test needed again. He's my partner not my husband! Dp = not dh!

Oh nooooo! Fallen foul of my own test now

I’m imagining the birds eye view if Melon and her DH & DC moving aisles, thwarting her at every turn. It’s very panto, and to the Benny Hill theme tune in my head

Well I find some of the GF's on here plain rude if it's all the same to you. It was fucking annoying and I bet it would have stressed you out at the time but you can't see past the end of your own noses in your perfect little lives.

Benny Hill theme made me laugh.

If I left my dh to do the shopping, he’d blow the budget and put all manner of tat into the trolley we didn’t need.

You need to go loo before or hold it in. I spend 15 minutes max doing the weekly shop. You could also have left the kids at home and dp have them. Much more relaxing.

This man’s relation to you is irrelevant. The fact that you chose that out of my entire post to comment on shows you know you’re being unreasonable you’re just refusing to admit it.

So, I’ll repost with the correct relationship. Maybe this is the reason he’s not your husband

OP, while it’s possible that he moved aisles while you were looking a couple of times, it won’t have happened repeatedly if you were “looking for fifteen minutes”.

I’ve lost people in large supermarkets a few times before and it has never taken me any longer than five minutes to find them (and they never has children with them, who are not known for being quiet).

The majority of the posters here are telling you YABU, yet you seen reluctant to accept it; even going so far as to name those disagreeing with you as GFs.

Perhaps we’re getting an insight into what your partner has to deal with and why you have communication issues in your relationship.

As someone said up thread,pick your battles.
He doesn't help with the housework.
He doesn't help with the mental load.
He makes plans and then changes them without letting you know.
He lets you down on childcare.
He won't get out of bed when u need him to.
These are the real issues.. that you either haven't tackled,or tried to and wasn't successful.
That's why you are so angry over such a non event. It's the rotten cheery on a shit cake. You need to do some serious thinking,and not about supermarket meet up points.

Oh come on people! Melon was clearly having a lighthearted rant - albeit with a slightly mardy tone - but you’re all being ever so serious!

You could also have left the kids at home and dp have them.

But the DC were there to choose something specific. Extension question: what was it?

But the DC were there to choose something specific. Extension question: what was it?

Think she said it was bedding?

But IT DID HAPPEN like that 2017! You aren't prepared to face facts yourself. That's what happened. I can only tell you what happened. If your logic is so flawless then let's look at it from DP's view. If I'm looking for him and it only takes 5 mins or so to reunite then surely the same applies to him in which he would have seen me looking for him in that time and called me over. But he didn't. So your argument falls down. He surely would have noticed me wondering around looking 'lost' and would have shouted 'Mel were here'. But that didn't happen.

So it works both ways. But I'm speaking the truth if you don't believe it then that's up to you. But you're wrong.

Correct Whatto! You can go up a level

No as rebel rogue said it's the cherry on the shit cake.

Melonjelly No, he wouldn’t. That view doesn’t work because he was busy shopping and looking after two children, not on the lookout for you. Your only goal at that moment however was to find a man with two children (again, children are not known for being quiet, particularly when there’s more than one of them).

You failed to do this for fifteen minutes, so it begs the question of how well you were actually looking.

Nothing you are saying is a fact or “the truth”. It is your interpretation of what happened.

Well then at the risk of taking what I say at risk of taking what I say at face value and I have no reason to strike up and thread an essentially lie to a bunch of strangers on MN - that's just weird - then you'll have to take my word for it that I absolutely looked everywhere I could have done, even double checking aisles if I caught a glimpse of someone who looked remotely like him. It was a busy day today. I honestly did not see him despite my best efforts. We missed each other plain and simple.

Sorry for typo

This thread has made me laugh

It’s also made me realise I must be the only person that enjoys taking their kids to the supermarket

I have no reason to strike up and thread an essentially lie to a bunch of strangers on MN - that's just weird

Oh yes, it’s weird. But people do it all the time.

However, I am not accusing you of making this up, OP. What I am saying is that you are unwilling to accept that you are the one being unreasonable here despite the majority of people saying you are.

I am also saying that you did not look hard enough. I believe you think you did, but you clearly didn’t else you would have found him.

Well if he'd stay in one place I'd stand a better chance

There are ten pages explaining why him staying in one place while you bugger off for a piss is ridiculous.

And for the sly remark about marriage, could it be possible I don't want to get married and he know this?

Also true.

They don't really give a reason as to why it's such a ridiculous notion so frankly I don't buy it.

Especially since it's something I've managed to do multiple times. It's such a cop out! Not buying it.

I don't get why whole families are dragged around the supermarket when it's easier for one parent to go where possible and the other to occupy the dc.

Also, you state you went to the loo there today, and last week too.
I've been desperate for the loo whilst doing shopping ( often a big amount ) and just wait. I have a weak bladder but still manage.

You also state you weren't getting much so don't see why you didn't just get what you needed then use the toilet.

I can't believe that some people have actual arguments over such trivial tripe.

Makes my life look really exciting reading your op

Well I just needed a wee at that time so I went. Nothing wrong with that. Didn't want to wait 15 or so mins to get round the supermarket. My prerogative.