To tell someone their kids should come first

[Sophisticatedsarcasm]

Yesterday I was meeting with some friends one of which I’m not as close with but she always tags along which is fine. We got onto the subject and she said how she doesn’t have any money to buy her kids some new school shoes. Before that topic had came up she was saying how a family member was on holiday and was getting her some cigarettes and alcohol and it was really cheap. (She was paying for it)
Usually I bite my tongue but she just pissed me off.
I said to her how about maybe she should stop drinking and smoking and buy her kid the new school shoes they need. She only has 2 kids. She was a bit gobsmacked. Didn’t really say much just made up an excuse and left.
Am I the only one bothered by the fact that people not putting their kids first and complain about the kids not having any nice clothes etc when they spend a majority of their money on stuff they don’t really need.

I don’t drink or smoke and I just about make ends meet, the only time I buy stuff for my self is Christmas and birthday. All my other spare money gets spent on my fast growing children. Esp3cially my son who seems to grow inches every day 🙈 I manage to £50 for holiday every month and £50 for Christmas every month. I’m not the only one that feels like this right?

YANBU OP.

I have a friend who makes digs at me having nice stuff and that she can't afford it. She chooses to forget that she drinks and smokes and goes out drinking and clubbing at least once a week. I don't. I choose to spend my money on nice stuff instead.

I’m not a brat so wouldn’t need any more. I already had the newest mobile or the big brands clothing... had money to go out with my friends... not sure how much more I would need short of a mansion with a swimming pool which we were certainly not rich enough for like I’ve said before.... as long as kids have what they NEED it’s not a problem to divulge in a few luxuries. But if you think that ciggies and booze is more important your child needing new shoes, then go for it... just don’t complain about having no money after

Ah,...so what you mean is, so long as a child has plenty of 'stuff' it doesn't matter if their parent is a drinker or smoker?
A basic need doesn't include a sober parent so long as that borderline alcoholic parent buys you a mobile phone and branded phones?
I think what we learn from this is its ok to have a dependency on cigs and alcohol so long as you have plenty of money..and if you don't it's not dependency it's selfishness.
Ok.

*clothes...not phones.

What’s that saying ‘you can’t reason with unreasonable people’ This conversation has gotten exhausting.

What’s that saying ‘you can’t reason with unreasonable people’ This conversation has gotten exhausting

Thank you! You asked AIBU... and proved indeed you can't reason with unreasonable people. You have not taken anything on board that has been put to you.

Actually yes I have, just you seem to be taking it too far.. there’s always someone that just doesn’t shut up.. it’s like going to a staff meeting and have that one colleague who just don’t shut up. I already admitted I was wrong and gave extra details. Short of writing a book I’m pretty sure I’ve already explained my self... about 9 times in about 6 different ways. I feel like my 10 year old DS understands better,. Most other people have gotten the gist. I hate condescending people. At the end of the day my original question has been resolved and I have a clear conscience 😊

To be totally honest, I think you don't like her as a noob and she gets on your nerves. But ostracizing her from the group will make you feel guilty when you look back.

I hate condescending people
Oooh,...that's a bit strong! 😁