Welcome to the People's Republic of Mumsnet

[GlitterUnicornsAndAllThatJazz]

Hello everyone.
Welcome to the People's Republic of Mumsnet. The republic is currently without a government, so we'll need to start getting organised.

I invite you to put yourself forward for any given position, taking care to elaborate on why you consider yourself suitable for the role.

I've currently appointed myself as Republic Designer, a temporary role that expires as soon as a President is elected.

Positions we will need to fill:
President
Vice President
Minister of Culture
Minister of External Affairs
Minister of Women
Minister of Snacks

Feel free to make your case for a role, propose new roles, and explore what other things we may need to put in place to become a well respected republic with international clout.

hushnow backs off slowly...am not trying to usurp your great ministriness

Can I be Head of MILarmy? I feel we need strong borders. And if they are on the border then they can’t pop round with no notice or let themselves in and rearrange the gin tea cabinet

2018SoFarSoGreat thankyou humbly 😊

My goodness, I went to bed a mortal and woke to learn I'd been nominated for president.

Unfortunately I shall have to decline; my portfolio is already too full of fabric swatches and chocolate biscuits.

Given my current health status - riddled with the lurgy- I propose I am considered as a modern day Typhoid Mary and infect any and all nefarious bastards who try and take down the hallowed Republic.

A statement from the office of the Ministre de Parfum:

Comrades! We must shift our focus away from this petty in-fighting over cats, gin and La Guerre Against MILs. This coalition of cats and chaos STINKS! We need a stronger, more stable and much more fragrant leadership !

As such, I am calling an urgent cabinet meeting in my apartment in the 6th Arrondissement to discuss the pressing matters at hand.

• La Duree macaroons, perfume samples and champagne provided
• Gin drinkers and cat lovers permitted, but must remove cat hair from clothes on entry and promise not to request slimline tonic
• Macron may pop in to discuss Brexit TBC

Minster for Judgy Pants distribution. We seem to have too many in circulation right now

@ChildofASD

If you are in charge of judgy pants and part of my remit is clean pants and socks for all (especially in times of war) perhaps we ought to collaborate?

I nominate myself for
Minister of Christmas

As self-appointed Minister for MN Cliché's I am concerned that this thread had reached 9 pages and thus far no one appears to have flounced, been handed a biscuit or clutched their pearls.
Although I see plenty of references to parking and MIL's so keep up the good work on that front.

sofancy desist with the Chanel spraying. The kittens don't like it. They think it is flea spray.

Do not fear, great people of the State of MN, as we enter this difficult period of war-mongering and gin-drinking, I will provide you all with the spiritual guidance you need.. As your religious leader, I will instil in you the confidence that everything you do in the defence of our great nation is justified (lion attacks, big buttons etc.) .

This is as long as you keep paying your large donations to the cult church of Neganism and worship me me with your entire body and soul.

Am I allowed to be Minister For People With Disabilities please? (Minister for Parking, I have some ideas I'd like to share with you re: tasering people who use Blue Badge spaces when not entitled to; & who park over blocked kerbs/in such a way as to block pavements so wheelchair users cannot pass...)

Obviously would welcome formation of subcommittee to represent spectrum of needs & interests & I trust The Republic won't be getting its knuckles rapped by the UN for its inhumane treatment of people with disabilities but plans to support those who need it with adequate amounts of money & access to care

Also, am willing to provide vast range of death-free snacks. Even gluten-free ones, despite gluten being exceptionally delicious.

I fancy being Minister for Diagrams. I have a specially appointed drawer full of glitter, those dot things in lots of colours, marker pens (inc fluorescent), rulers and set squares for tricky parking diagrams. I'm also making bin stickers and have a CF stamp of approval.

STANDING BY

Zebra you have my word that these people with be DEALT WITH. I shall be bulk-ordering tasers for my minions. (apply here....)
Signed - Minister of Parking (MOP)

Can I be Minister of Drawing on things? I have form. Here is my application
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3163605-To-stamp-my-tiny-foot-parking-related

I might be useful for propaganda and such.

Zebra And high on the list, I give you.... John Terry.
Apparently disabled. Not.

Can the Secretary of State for Transport change the law re driving licence so that men with no sense are banned?

FFS. What's happening?

The cats have run away. Everybody is either drunk or numbed by clouds of perfume. Or both. Ensconced in their comfy chairs, too lazy to actually do any work!

The lions have eaten all the MILs, or was it the other way round? We're drowning in paperwork and diagrams.

The 'republic' is on the brink of bankruptcy (huge expenditure, no income whatsoever) and has a president and cabinet that was not elected by US THE PEOPLE. Hmpf.

As none of you lazy gits are joining my revolution, you have left me no choice.

So, as of now, I am once again your beloved all-powerful (and occasionally benign) dictator.

And don't you threaten me with your lurgy, TheFaerieQueene . My lurgy is even worse than yours.

Zebra - can your first job in post be to banish the dreadful John Terry to a remote island?

( 'Same old Terryyyyy....always cheating')

Whatever committee I ever go near, I end up treasurer - so will be chancellor, thanks.

Can I be minister of RTFT.

Don’t know if anyone has already applied.

rjay why don't you RTFT and find out, then let us know

Chester Draws needs to stay, he is unrepresented!

The cats have NOT run away. They are all sleeping in a big pile of furriness (at my house) and will be planning their takeover of the republic later.

Ah, glad they've not run away, let them know when they wake that I've got their lasers ready for fitting. They should prove to be quite a formidable militia when the time comes.