Welcome to the People's Republic of Mumsnet

[GlitterUnicornsAndAllThatJazz]

Hello everyone.
Welcome to the People's Republic of Mumsnet. The republic is currently without a government, so we'll need to start getting organised.

I invite you to put yourself forward for any given position, taking care to elaborate on why you consider yourself suitable for the role.

I've currently appointed myself as Republic Designer, a temporary role that expires as soon as a President is elected.

Positions we will need to fill:
President
Vice President
Minister of Culture
Minister of External Affairs
Minister of Women
Minister of Snacks

Feel free to make your case for a role, propose new roles, and explore what other things we may need to put in place to become a well respected republic with international clout.

I'm appointing myself minister for health and wellbeing. My first decision is that gin is available at all times and for anyone, whether male female transgender dog or cat or badger or unicorn. And tonic. And ice. And lemon. Organic wax free upon request. Oh and of course the tonic can be sugar free. And I'm not sure what things have gluten in but we can do gluten free too.

@2018SoFarSoGreat
You have my vote, So Great.

Are we in agreement? President So Great for president?

I'm in the mood for a war tbh.

As director of the Good Ideas Bureau can I suggest we start brainstorming peoples or places to wage war on?

Well, lookee here. I get promoted and suddenly it all goes to hell in a handcart. YES. This is my favorite place ever :)

Listen up. I may just know a man with a button. Do not say that out loud. I repeat. Quiet. Keep it under all of your hats - and for god's sake, Gilead, muffle that bloody gavel.

Over to Glitter - wait, who is the Minister of War and Dastardly Deeds?

I'm volunteering my services as Minister with Special Responsibilty for Cancelling of Cheques.

I rtft and don't think anyone has nabbed this yet...

Bulletin: Presidential Proclamation Incoming

Everyone but Bluesky is to turn away. And cover your ears. And your eyes.

Bluesky - you may have already figured this out, but my bid for election was actually a cunning ploy.

Now, altogether with gusto:

S C O O O O O T L A N D!!!

As you were, people.

What sort of defenses does Scotland have against lions, SoGreat? Asking for a friend.

Lions. Pshaw. Next your 'friend' shall be inquiring about MIL defences. Or CF defenses. Lions. Ha!

No more questions!

All you ScotsGits, your national anthem is shite. England and Ireland are also shite. The French Marseillaise isn't too bad and the Italian is also rather good - although one only normally hears it when Ferrari win a Grand Prix. But Welsh national anthem is utterly splendid.

Can I be Sceptical Minister of Woo? I've seen all the original xfiles.

Can I be the minister for silly walks?

If we're going to go to war you will all need clean pants and socks

I had better get to it

I'm minister for Weather. Any requests?

@SteelyPip don't forget to iron all the clean pants and socks. And babygros. Otherwise the MILS will come and get you. Although as Minister for Dogs and other Smelly Furry Fluffy things I am considering declaring war on absolutely everyone else, in which case we'll need to keep calm and carry on and focus on the important stuff. Which is probably not keeping an eye on what our dogs and cats are up to.

@OhYouBadBadKitten I was thinking about you earlier, when I suddenly found myself in a small but perfectly formed blizzard up on Salisbury Plain!

Do you need a Minister for cushions and comfy chairs? Been a lot of roles volunteered for but not sure where we're all going to sit. Can't be doing with all that conventional hard chairs around a serious table scenario.

We do need somewhere to put the tea/gin/cake, though, so comfy settees and side tables?

TheLastMermaid how smart you are. This cabinet is really coming together. My arse is exceedingly fat but sadly lacks padding - tis an enigma! A good comfy chair is a thing of beauty.

In fact, I reread your post. And nominate YOU as President. You seem to be much more caring than I. I fear I am far too lazy to preside.

Glitter this war is shaping up to be a good 'un - what a great designer you are. We shall all sit in our comfy chairs, drinking unlimited gin/tea, eating cake, wearing clean (well gussetted and ironed) knickers in case we get run over (or mauled by a lion. Ahem - I'm looking right at you Hanar). A kitten for every lap. That might need another slogan though. Or another gin.

hic.

I am declaring myself Minister for Parking. I will take no shit and give no quarter.
Especially outside schools.
Or on driveways.
Fear not, mumsnetters, henceforth your drives, front gardens, allocated parking spaces, even on-street parking, will all be utterly protected. You will never need penguin bollards again with ME in charge.
Offending vehicles will be instantly zapped with my magic zapper.
All hail ME

The cats have bloody wandered off.

lucky you Alpaca

I’ll take the science portfolio.

I’ll be needing to have a round up of jet ski owners. They go the wall along with questionable facial hair, people who spit in public and hipsters.

I’ll be building a B Ark, let’s put it that way.

Do we have a Ministre de Parfum, yet?

I will need an apartment in St Germain-des-Pres sharpish (in other words, before Brexit) in order to carry out my role to the highest standards on behalf of the —perfumista thread regulars— Republic of MN.

Chanel des Exclusifs for the many not the few!

I welcome the appointment of the Minister of Parking.

As for all the cats leaving, I suggest approaching this friendly one, who has demonstrated commitment by greeting Waitrose shoppers for a while. Went to Waterstones last Sunday so is seeking to broaden her education.

OH my giddy aunt. I pop to my club for just one or two thimbles of sherry and the cabinet doubles in size. The mumsnet (un)civil service will be rushed of its feet. We’ll have to recruit, and buy new fancy offices, and...oh yes, very good! I huge cabinet is precisely what we need.

I’ll also be needing a huge lion bed for Basil, Lion if State. Can it go next to my comfy chair? Place it in the corner please - I do my best finger steepling when in a corner in a large leather high back chair, the shadows flickering and my massive lion beside me.

Im gonna do a quick tea run

Or gin

I think some of you need gin

Do we have a Global Operations Director, GOD for short? I declare myself the one true GOD, and if there are others (false! fake news!) our followers can battle it out for centuries in the form of Wacky Races and Wipeout style challenges.