Women working out of the home condem other women

[restofthetimes]

....to caring for their children. For low pay. (Albeit very expensive childcare for the end user? ie a working couple one of whose wages possibly only just covers childcare fees.... leaving them with effectively one income again)

This is the reality. The number of men caring for the children hasn’t gone up as the number of women working out of the home has.

In an ideal world, would there be an equal number of sahds to sahms? Or should we force more men into paid childcare jobs. I don’t know the statistics, but it seems men just don’t want to work in that area. So women bear the brunt again.

It all seems weird .

I find this whole thread quite strange. It started as a thinly veiled attack on working mothers (note: not working parents) and then when the working mothers provided their reasons for choosing/needing to work, a few insecure SAHMs jumped on taking offence and claiming that the whole thread was an attack on SAHMs. I’m so glad things are simpler in the real world. In my circle (both close friends and wider acquaintances) there is the whole spectrum from FT WOHM to very PT WOHM and a very small number of SAHM (interestingly these are either very wealthy families or very poor families). Also some families with fathers who have very little involvement in the day to day care of their children through to fathers who work flexibly and are actively involved in weekday childcare (I don’t personally know any SAHDs). Over the past 10 years, I have had one or two snide comments about my choice to work FT, but otherwise it’s just not discussed and nobody seems to be too interested in how others choose to live. There’s an interesting discussion to be had about how both parents can achieve a good work life balance, but this isn’t really being discussed here, so on that point, I will bow out.

LipstickHandbagCoffee

Do you and your partner / husband have sex? You could easily outsource that to a professional
That's generating jobs isn't it?

"Well you’ve demonstrated both tangential thinking and unnecessary vulgarity"

I demonstrated wit and humour in the face of your "logic". If you think the only "work worth doing" are tasks that can be reduced to a commercial/monetary exchange and contribute to jobs and the economy then surely you should apply that to sex also?

Just applying your logic.

1ndig0 that’s great your arrangement works for you. Some people are naturally interesting and some are bores but in my experience having a career brings another dimension to a person.

Francine You appear to be Tangential, vulgar, and non-cognisant of the topics on the thread
Anyway my glassy eyed children,who have been outsourced all day,they are asleep 💤
And I have a hair masque and new book, feel free to come back with a pithy retort.
I’m not inclined to respond. Seeing you’re on the wind up,looking for a reaction

Have you got thesaurus.com running?

francine I’m starting to warm to you

I was irritated by your references to “strangers” looking after my children. (Because it showed ignorance) but I am appalled that people are coming on here trotting out ridiculous things like “men have affairs because sahm just talk about their kids” people who work can be incredibly dull too!! And other people who work and mums can be fascinating/ funny etc. I’d say any man who complains his wife “only has the kids to talk about” needs to step up and give his wife some time off. Plus i’m a wohm with a high flying career and I am pretty sure 90% of my conversation is about the kids too . I’m no less interested in them because I work.

Furthermore we aren’t crediting our daughters with much intelligence / free will if we think they will only have a high flying career if we do too. I encourage both my children to think for themselves and follow their own passions (currently space, and dance, respectively) not follow meekly in my footsteps.

Sorry for the "strangers" comment. I meant "professionals".

It’s alright, it’s a minor irritant compared to the way sahm have been torn to shreds since! I feel really embarrased, I can assure you lots of wohm ..
A) don’t think that about sahm. we just see you as having different choices from us, both equally valid
And
b) are not heading out to work each day in some desperate bid to stop our husbands from cheating . I love my job but if I talk about it to DP he normally nods off (he would much rather talk about the kids!)

My kids are obviously super brilliant as they were apparently raised by strangers yet all 3 have still turned out happy, in loving relationships and with successful careers. Bit like their parents

Nobody is criticising you BabbityWabbit. SAHMs are just asking for same.

I don’t criticise SAHM; it’s totally up to them and their partner what they do. Your posts are a joke though Francine.

Why?

Because you’re obsessed with the idea that WOHM are judging you, when in reality we’re far too busy enjoying our own families and lives to care what you decide to do.
And the snidey comment early in the thread about handing children over to strangers is a bitchy thing to say. Your attempt to ‘rationalise’ your choice of word just added another layer of bitchiness. Why not just go and enjoy your own children rather than snipe at women who make different choices to you?

Never I was sharing my experience of what had happened in some marriages. These were well funded households with domestics outsourced. But you’re right, professional women can too talk about their kids virtually all of the time. Like I said earlier, some people are naturally interesting and some are not.

I have already said that I should said "professionals" rather than "strangers". If MN had an edit facility I would go back and change that word.

Ah easy mistake to make, confusing strangers with professionals

Hello,

We're just interjecting to call for some peace and love. It's obviously more than fine to disagree, but please do keep in mind that we're a place of support for all parents.

Thanks

In fairness Francine if there were an edit button you'd need to edit quite a few of your posts to remove the very clear message that you think wohm are allowing strangers to raise their children and that they have chosen to do so because they prioritise material wealth/holidays/stuff over time spent with their children. Which is a million times more offensive than suggesting that all sahm must be bored/intellectually understimulated etc etc.

Is your best disparaging comment?that I swallowed a thesaurus?
My children have excellent semantic and phonemic fluency
It’s all that time spent with strangers,they have to learn to say where’s my mummy in many ways

My

I’ve been on mumsnet fir about 14 years now - and this row never changes nor does it ever end and, no one ever wins.

I don’t think it’s about winning though is it?essentially every one thinks they are right

And will post anecdote,belief,observation,and personal belief to substantiate POV
A deeper question is,that men never get berated in this way for working.always women.

LipstickHandbagCoffee has made me realise that I have lost this argument. If I were a working mum, I would be able to use phrases like "semantic phonemic fluency".

I have missed out on so much and I am sad*
&Or "bereft, disconsolate, inconsolable" for you LipstickHandbagCoffee.

It’s just a pointless row

It's over now!