'I don't shake women's hands'

[canary1]

In a work setting today, a client was seen by four colleagues, 2 male, 2 female. The client shook hands with the two male colleagues at the end, and when I held my hand out in expectation, this is what he said. I know many muslims and never ran into this before, though this is his reason. I'm disgusted at such overt sexism dressed up as religion. I can't say that's just his beliefs any more than I can excuse any other overt discriminatory behaviour. How is this regarded as an acceptable way to behave?

Some men hide their total disgust and hatred for women behind their so called religion.

Neat way of hiding their misogyny isn't it.

Many of the non religious women haters are self identifying to sort us wimmins out too, outside the cloak of religion.

Be afraid ladies.

You know, I am not a Muslim, but I am a woman. And I am ashamed by some of the posts on this thread.

Religious hatred should be criminalised and disguising it as some sort of feminist issue is utterly odious.

Eh? I just stating what I’ve been told as I live In Very mixed community. I never said woman were unclean.... rolls eyes

It is out of respect for his wife.
Many Muslims do this.

Give me strength. What utter bollox

@ChesterBelloc
That’s a ridiculous argument! Utterly ridiculous
@haffiana
You haven’t answered the question. Funnily enough I don’t care one way or the other what religion you are, but you need to be able to defend a statement

daisychain01

Is monogamy the only acceptable way to live? shock

As long as the multiple-wived husband is content for his wives to have multiple husbands, I'm game.

Haffiana sorry to disappoint you but I am not new to mumsnet, and absolutely nothing I have said in my posts are racist

Are you having a laugh?

Regarding the kissing thing in Italy, FGS a handshake is a totally acceptable greeting for all sexes, genders etc. Totally non intimate or awkward at all.

But the thing for me is, (whatever about the religious norms of the man in question), that he effectively humiliated the woman in front of her colleagues. He should have known it would be awful for her and just refused to shake ANYONE's hand on the occasion.

But I suppose women are unclean and men are fine. Typical.

Ive not know any Muslims do this but have known plenty of Jewish people absolutely recoiling in horror at a woman trying to touch his had (leisure centre - putting a spa access wristband on)
Stop the Muslim bashing. It’s religion

People have an absolute right to choose whether or not they touch or are touched by other people. They don't have to explain their reasoning and if they do explain, it doesn't matter whether you agree with it. The only discrimination or unequal treatment I can see is if you think a muslim man has less right to bodily autonomy than, for example, a lesbian who doesn't want to have sex with a transwoman, or a small girl who doesn't want to kiss her grandfather, or an event hostess who doesn't want to have her bum felt by a customer. It doesn't matter whether or not you think he "ought" to feel comfortable when he doesn't, or that you think he should put up with being uncomfortable so you don't feel rejected. Those arguments are the ones we rightly condemn when used by men to justify unwanted physical contact with women.

He wasn't being offensive - he was being true to his belief

So its okay to be sexist, homophobic, racist, ableist... because its what you belief? And then no one has the right to be offended?
Sorry you can belive what you want but if you are'nt willing to show people equal respect regardless of who or what they are then you dont expect them to respect you back.

he was being rude. Having said that, I never shake hands if I can get away with it. Its a dirty disgusting habit in my opinion

AssassinatedBeauty Thu 08-Feb-18 22:43:47
He was being true to his belief, and also offensive. He could have chosen not to shake hands with everyone, instead he chose to embarrass the OP by refusing after she'd offered.

No. The woman whose hand he chose not to shake is ignorant as you are.

It is his belief, are you really implying that he should forego that belief, whether we agree with that or not, so not to cause offence to a woman?

What @Doobigetta says.

@canary1 much as it is very odd (to me) for a man not to shake a woman's hand I'd say at the end of the day it doesn't matter much. As long as his dealing s with you were polite and professional. His inability to shake your hand is his own business and doesn't reflect on you at all.

Tiddle whatever, how dare you call me ignorant because I am calling misogyny what it is.

*upsideup Thu 08-Feb-18 22:52:22
He wasn't being offensive - he was being true to his belief

So its okay to be sexist, homophobic, racist, ableist... because its what you belief? And then no one has the right to be offended?
Sorry you can belive what you want but if you are'nt willing to show people equal respect regardless of who or what they are then you dont expect them to respect you back.*

So you would you expect a Christian to remove their cross because they weren't showing respect to whoever was offended?

Genuine question.

Except that the reason is that he is showing modesty, humility and chastity - respect for his wife in fact

Hang on. He would know that men could have sex with him too, yeah?

So to respect his wife he should touch no other human being but her if we are going with that sort of thinking.

@tiddliewinkiewoo did you read my post at all? I'm not suggesting he should have shaken hands with anyone he didn't want to. I'm not suggesting he forgoes his belief.

I am suggesting that he should have considered the impact of refusing to shake the OPs hand, and considered refusing to shake everyone's hands instead. That way his beliefs are protected and no one is left embarrassed by having a handshake refused.

Gosh it would be interesting to discuss this but there’s some quite offensive reasoning in some replies.

I’m not a Muslim, but in my work I have many Muslim colleagues and students/ parents I interact with. I have to say, it can be jarring not to receive a handshake as it is a reminder (especially if there is another man in the room who has shaken hands) that you are seen as a woman. What I mean is, in my work I see myself as doing a role, yes I’m a woman, but I am not offering friendship or a relationship, I want people to see me as doing a role. So, if they don’t shake hands with me, it’s like they are pointing out our difference. I don’t know, it can be an odd feeling.

Having said that, beliefs and cultural norms exist. This is just one for Muslims. It’s hard to fight something you’ve been raised to believe is respectful I imagine.

It’s weird, at my work I’m so institutionalised that when a Muslim Dad went to shake my hand I almost recoiled as if I thought we couldn’t do that.

@Doobigetta
So it’s ok for a b&b owner not to allow gays to stay for their Christian reasons. No it’s not in law.
So where do you draw the line.
It’s NOTHING to do with the psychical act, it’s to do with the implications of the physical act in the eyes of the religious person
Same as eye contact etc etc
Where do you draw the line.

AND CAN SOMEONE GIVE ME THE ACTUAL LINES IN THE RELIGIOUS TEXT THAT SAYS YOU CANNOT SHAKE A LADIES HAND