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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dd "fat shaming" me.

422 replies

Dancingfairy · 08/02/2018 13:13

So I know I'm not small. I'm a size 16 (was a 12 before having my youngest) however dd has started "fat shaming" me. She's 6 and will say stuff like "why are you big and fat" infact she decided to say that in a shop yesterday infront of everyone. Also "whys your belly so fat" aibu in thinking this is normal stuff for a 6 yo to say? Or is it? Needless to say it's promoted the diet!

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 08/02/2018 20:16

Batshit you can carry on laughing and sniggering with your allies on the thread and ignoring my points all you like. I think it just about sums up your attitude.

I don't know Candy that's what I've been trying to ascertain. Apart from making people feel morally superior I have no idea

blackberryfairy · 08/02/2018 20:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BitOutOfPractice · 08/02/2018 20:23

Don't worry Blackberry, many many others have been before you to confirm that the OP is indeed overweight and they aren't

She was asking for advice on how to deal with her DD, not to ask how much you do or don't weigh

Bluntness100 · 08/02/2018 20:32

Op, she's your six year old daughter, seriously she's not your arch enemy, get a grip, she's a little kid.

Handsoffmysweets · 08/02/2018 20:37

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

upsideup · 08/02/2018 20:39

I doubt a 6 year has malicious intentions, especially as she hadnt yet been taught about weight and why its not okay to comment on peoples weight, if she was 16 it would be a completely different but 6 is so young. My DC like to pick inappropriate times to ask inappropriate questions too, sometimes it can be a little bit embarrasing but I try and see the funny side and its definately not to shame or humilate me.

beardymcbeardy · 08/02/2018 20:46

I doubt your dd was deliberately trying to be rude or nasty to you. She obviously doesnt realise that saying someone is fat can hurt their feelings. You should have explained this to her without giving her into trouble, although i can understand you shushing her in the shop as it would have maybe been embarrassing. I would imagine that most other people, especially those with children, will understand as most children say things at one time or another that will make you want the ground to swallow you up. I would say though at 5'2 and size 16 must be quite big, im 5'9 and a podgy size 12 (ds 6 has asked about my squidgy belly a few times, i tell him its like a deflated balloon).

Original poster
Dancingfairy · 08/02/2018 20:47

I don't think she's my enemy she's a lovely girl. I think she's picked it up somewhere and knows it's offensive.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dancingfairy · 08/02/2018 20:48

I said I'm big why do people keep saying over and over again like I said I wasn't?

OP posts:
BatshitTrain · 08/02/2018 20:53

I was using myself as an example to counter the posts that say size 16 isn't big even for someone who is 5 foot 2.

^This

it seems to be ok to be spiteful to slim women and personally attack them, insinuating that they are making their weight up for instance.

^and this.

It seems to be you can't comment unless you are overweight or applauding the OP for being overweight.
Her daughter is 6, and the OP lied to her about why she is overweight.
But how dare someone actually say that, lets all say a 6 year old is naughty.

I'm not sniggering at the OP. Good on her for doing something about it. What I am doing is shaking my head at some ridiculous posters who have made it their mission to try and bitch about me and others who dare not to be overweight.

BatshitTrain · 08/02/2018 20:54

It's not you OP. It's a few posters that are enjoying making an issue of some other posters unnecessarily.

CandyYumYum · 08/02/2018 20:56

My point is that your weight is irrelevant to this thread. You're welcome to start your own thread however rather than trying to hog the OP's.

blackberryfairy · 08/02/2018 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BatshitTrain · 08/02/2018 20:59

It's a chat forum. People are chatting and responding to other posters.

upsideup · 08/02/2018 20:59

When you have the conversation with her OP, ask her where she got the question from

CandyYumYum · 08/02/2018 21:00

My 'hogging' post wasn't aimed at you it was aimed at the post directly before mine. Apologies if that wasn't clear.

BetseyTrotwood · 08/02/2018 21:01

A bit off-topic but I have a very distinct memory of being 7 years old and asking my teacher if she had a baby in her tummy. I was last to leave the class and probably waited till then as I was quite shy. So no one else around.

I was genuinely excited that she might be pregnant as I liked her.

The terrifying tone of the "No" and the glare I got I'll never forget. And the cold shoulder for a few months!

Kids that age are very direct and very very curious about the world. And no way tactical enough to warrant being called a "madam".

Your dd was just observing and felt confident enough to voice it to you IMO.

constantlychangingmyname · 08/02/2018 21:01

My 6 year old asks her DF why he eats unhealthy food sand also questions his size. I think she has a point really, she’s curious why a person would do that to themselves. She’s not rude, she’s confused and trying to understand his strange relationship with food.

FWIW, I also wonder why, but have been conditioned into thinking it isn’t polite to explore that with him.

BatshitTrain · 08/02/2018 21:01

and it was relevant and part of responding to other posters when they said size 16 at 5'2" was not big, other posters disagreed.

CandyYumYum · 08/02/2018 21:03

The thread is about a situation with the OP and her daughter. Other posters' height and weight, whether they're short and stocky, or tall and willowy, is irrelevant.

BatshitTrain · 08/02/2018 21:04

I think you're the one who should start you own thread. Just so you can slag off anyone that dares not to be overweight.

No-one else has hogged the thread. I've just responded to you.

BatshitTrain · 08/02/2018 21:05

Again, it's a chat forum. Posters respond to each other. That's how they work.

CandyYumYum · 08/02/2018 21:05

You don't like being challenged, do you Batshit one? But at least you've had fun badgering the OP.

CandyYumYum · 08/02/2018 21:06

Just so you can slag off anyone that dares not to be overweight

Why would I slag off anyone for being slim, heavy, or somewhere in between? Bizarre thought process at work there.

BatshitTrain · 08/02/2018 21:09

Not really. You've made a point of trying to get at me. Hasn't really worked out for you has it, because twice now I've said good on the OP for doing something about it.
But that doesn't really fit with the story you've made up about me does it.

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