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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be given milk to drink that had been open for 3 days!

339 replies

LittleMe03 · 07/02/2018 22:00

Now I expect to be flamed for this, and for it to seem really silly to lots of people....

.... but I was diagnosed with IBS around 4 years ago now after being terribly ill on and off for a few months.

I was told to keep a diary to figure out what 'triggers' caused me problems. After around a year I worked out what foods and drinks caused me to be poorly.

I love milk, will drink 1/2 a pint a day on its own or have it with cereal, I rarely drink any hot drinks. However, I soon realised that if my milk was not REALLY fresh (used same day opened or day after) I got terrible stomach pains. So even thou it's more expensive I tend to buy a pint at a time for home use and I try to avoid drinking milk elsewhere.

I nipped in to see my sister today after work, she is well aware of this strange issue of mine. She asked me if I would like a drink. I said I fancied milk but if she didn't have 'fresh' milk i would have some water. She went to the kitchen and came back with a glass of milk claiming 'I have just opened it' I drank it and soon after left.

About an hour ago I started to feel really funny, stomach pains and grumbling pains Sad I couldn't figure out where I had gone wrong and rang my sister to check on the milk she had given me. She laughed and said it had been open a few days but it was fine so she didn't think anything of it and thought I was just paranoid Angry

AIBU to be upset with her? I didn't say much to her on the phone other than explain that I do think that could be why I may now feel poorly tonight Sad

OP posts:
LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 08/02/2018 00:50

Actually in days of yore everyone had lactose intolerance. Northern European people have actually evolved to become lactose tolerant over the last 10,000 years or so, probably as a way to get adequate amounts of vitamin D. Can't argue with archeology.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 08/02/2018 00:50

But I agree that your sister was a coo OP!

BusyCrisps · 08/02/2018 01:18

Considering it was a 'blind' test I'll believe you, although presumably with IBS there other reasons you could feel ill?

Whether it's the cause or not, your sister was mean.

PwynethGaltrow · 08/02/2018 01:29

ffs people. Op didn’t come and ask whether she should be drinking milk. She asked if her sister was unreasonable in lying to her. And yes she was. And so are the Rest of you who are telling her that she can’t possibly know what triggers her own IBS because your aunt Mabel had a different trigger.
IBS isn’t even a specific illness, it’s a diagnosis given when doctors can’t pin your gut problems on any other specific cause. Please stop Giving the OP unsolicited medical advice and start giving her some sympathy for having a sister who doesn’t respect her wishes.

OP
Well done on having identified your triggers. I hope you continue to be able to manage your condition as well as you are.

PwynethGaltrow · 08/02/2018 01:41

Oh and blueletter I think I love you.

There is pseudobollocks and there are scientific facts . And then there are individual bodies which sometimes have guts that are a little too complex to be fully explained by current peer reviewed studies and just have to be managed by individuals.

I’ve been through many many medically supervised exclusion diets. Whilst my dietician was able to use her experience of other patients to help guide me, she also accepted that every body is slightly different. I can drink as much milk as I like and not have it worsen my symptoms. I can even cope with cold cream cheese and mozzarella. Cheddar, Parmesan and other hard cow cheese cause some issues. Didn’t bother testing goats cheese as I can’t stand the billy-taste. Feed me cooked cheese and I go from a normalish size 12 to looking like I’m carrying twins within an hour.

If the OP says freshly opened milk is ok, but old stuff isn’t- why not just believe her?

itshappening · 08/02/2018 02:05

I get where you are coming from OP, milk starts to go off a bit long before it is officially past and obviously that affects you. Your sister should have been honest and respected that.

All these people saying adults should not have dairy.....not that I agree with that....but am just interested where they got their calcium from esp eg. If pregnant...?

TheMaddHugger · 08/02/2018 03:06

I also have terrible IBS. I drink minimal milk. maybe a 5th of a cup daily. and this is Lactose free milk at that.

Spam88 · 08/02/2018 03:40

This thread is bizarre, although in true Mumsnet fashion.

Why is everyone assuming that because dairy is s trigger for them/someone they know then it must also DEFINITELY be a trigger for the OP? Given you all have ibs, surely you know that isn't how it works...?

FWIW, I have ibs and bloody love milk. When I was pregnant I was drinking at least two pints a day and didn't suffer at all. I also excluded dairy when first diagnosed and it made no difference.

Also cheese does not make me gassy Hmm

TheMaddHugger · 08/02/2018 04:02

@Spam88 Cheese doesn't make me gassy either which is good because I can't live with my cheeses Mmmmmmmmmmm Cheeeeeeese

Iwillstartagainonmonday · 08/02/2018 04:06

Well she lied to you so YNBU to be upset, however, I have IBS and i can't have cereal, glasses of milk etc as I'll be sat on the loo for the rest of the day if I did. The most milk I can tolerate is a splash of it in a cup of tea.

Iwillstartagainonmonday · 08/02/2018 04:13

Why is everyone assuming that because dairy is s trigger for them/someone they know then it must also DEFINITELY be a trigger for the OP?

Sometimes it's about the quantity that can trigger it too. Not just what it is, or how strong/weak it is.

Ive done the FODMAP thing. Fine with milk in a cuppa, not fine with glass of milk, bowl of cereal. The most annoying one was when a cupasoup I tried had the same effect. Was the onions/onion powder in it!

OtterInDisgrace · 08/02/2018 04:23

Won’t somebody think of the cows? I’m with @babybobobear - drinking milk from other species is fucking weird.

Why do people accept it as a custom without thinking about what they’re actually doing?

AlonsosLeftPinky · 08/02/2018 05:55

oysterbabe Are there any other animals who can get up and pour a glass of whatever drink they fancy from the fridge?

That aside, OP isn't asking for IBS tips. I have IBD and IBS. Milk isn't a trigger for me. Its not a one size fits all kind of thing.

sashh · 08/02/2018 06:08

I open my milk and smell it, any smell at all to it then it isn't fresh enough

Milk ALWAYS smells. I don't like milk and I can't tell if it is 'off' because it always smells off to me.

drinking milk from other species is fucking weird

In some cultures women breastfeed nt just their own child but other children in their family/community.

I doubt anyone on here would want someone else to bf their baby, but we drink milk from different species.

SolaceOfYou · 08/02/2018 06:33

So, pretty much everyone can drink milk up to the age of 5. Then, depending on your ethnicity, the ability to digest lactose in significant amounts is lost and by 21 for a great many people it's largely gone. However, Northern Europeans have a fairly recent genetic mutation which means most retain the ability to digest lactose as adults. Hence the traditional love of cheese and milk (and foods using these) in Britain and France. British cuisine includes many foreign foods that don't normally have much cheese, milk or cream (curry, pasta) but we've added them because most British people can digest them in large quantities.

wysteriafloribunba · 08/02/2018 07:03

Your sister was BU.

It is fine to drink milk, and consume dairy. In fact the calcium, minerals and vitamins in it might help you avoid thinning bones in later life. Sure there are other sources but dairy is a particularly good one.

I had osteopena (precursor to osteoporosis). Dairy and weight bearing exercise have reversed this.

toolazytothinkofausername · 08/02/2018 07:03

Just switch to oat milk! :)

SoupDragon · 08/02/2018 07:12

drinking milk from other species is fucking weird.

You’re vegan then?

ShowMeTheElf · 08/02/2018 07:23

OP are you drinking 1-2 pints or 1/2 (ie half) pint per day?
..misses point of thread....
Yes your sister was being unfair, yes she made you ill, yes your sensitivity is weird and I understand why she doesn't believe it....but she should still honour your feelings.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 08/02/2018 07:24

I’ve read some bollocks on MN in my time but I think MyDcAreMarvel’s post takes the Biscuit for the biggest load of crap ever cut and pasted on here.

And all the adults shouldn’t drink milk/eat dairy? WTAF?

There are some people out there who really will believe absolutely everything they read on the internet, won’t they?

To be given milk to drink that had been open for 3 days!
floriad · 08/02/2018 07:29

drinking milk from other species is fucking weird.

Kind of, sure. But so is eating the flesh of a different species. The eggs.

Or bananas that were shipped around the world. Eating stuff like Quinoa, Chia seeds, freezing produce, using a computer... All these things are pretty fucking weird as well, tbh.

Littlebelina · 08/02/2018 07:31

bows down toblueletter

Redcherries · 08/02/2018 07:34

Hi Op, I agree your sister was wrong to do that, some people just don’t get it do they.

I love milk too and have around the same amount you do, i have ibd and ibs and can only tolerate lactose free at the moment and get quite upset if I run out, very grown up of me! I find the dairy trigger so inconsistent, I can do cheese no problem but give me a rich sauce with even a drip of cream in and I’m suddenly six months gone with twins and seeking out the nearest toilet.

Original poster
LittleMe03 · 08/02/2018 07:42

@ShowMeTheElf 1/2 (half) pint a day on average.

To those who say they are surprised I can drink milk at all, why are you surprised?

I know lactose/diary is often a big trigger for IBS sufferers but for me if it is controlled in the way I mentioned then it does not make me feel poorly.

Everybody has different triggers. If I drink a glass of orange juice, no matter how fresh, I will feel Ill for a good 24 hours afterwards.

Luckily I am feeling slightly better this morning after a few runs in the night to the toilet Blush just feeling a little bloated and uncomfortable this morning

OP posts:
Original poster
LittleMe03 · 08/02/2018 07:44

And to the PP posters who suggested cravendale, yes I do often use this but still tend to stick to the two day mark Grin I may be fine with this on a third day but it makes me nervous to try

OP posts:
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