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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want my spare room back

122 replies

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 07/02/2018 12:19

DH and I have been together for years and he plays music. He has a huge piece of music equipment that has dictated us having an extra toom wherever we rented or bought even though he went through large peiods of not using it.

We bought a house 2yrs ago and it has sat in the corner of the spare room untouched for these 2 yrs, rendering the spare room useless for anything else.

I have asked him on numerous occasions to set it up or put it in the attic, I have even tidied the room so it's easy to set up but all to no avail.

We have quite a lot of visitors so I would love to put a bed there or put my clothes horse in there as it clogs up my kitchen.

We are planning to get our kitchen done up in the next few months. Aibu to ask him to get rid of it so I can put my clothes horse in there or use it for something else. It's doing my head in Angry

OP posts:
Cath2907 · 07/02/2018 12:24

Put it in the attic yourself? He likely won't notice!

Original poster
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 07/02/2018 12:25

Cath I'm very tempted but he would lose the plot

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 07/02/2018 12:28

If he would lose the plot over something like this then I suggest to you that you have more serious problems in your marriage than the use or otherwise of a spare room.

Original poster
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 07/02/2018 12:32

Vladamirs he would go bananas if I removed the equipment and say he'd planned to use it soon.

OP posts:
WhatchaMaCalllit · 07/02/2018 12:32

Start using it as a clothes horse.
Start leaving things on top of it. If it's a piano or a mixing desk or a drum kit then leave stuff on it, draped over it and stop making space for it.
If your DH wants it to have a proper place, he'd better decide to use it or lose it.
Have you tried saying "DH, about that X bit of kit you have in the spare room - have you any idea what one of those would sell for? I'm just wondering how much to advertise it on Ebay for?" and see what he says. If it were a person renting the room, how much income would you have accumulated since it went into the spare room??

DriggleDraggle · 07/02/2018 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 07/02/2018 12:35

Watcha things are thrown on top of it because it just gets in the way. I have mentioned eBay but he just loses his cool.

OP posts:
Bloomed · 07/02/2018 12:36

What on earth is it?

Original poster
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 07/02/2018 12:37

Driggle it's a box bedroom so very small. It's an awkward space but the equipment takes up a good portion of it. There is a desk in the room too but no room for a clothes horse

OP posts:
Original poster
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 07/02/2018 12:38

Bloomed electronic drum kit. That hasn't been used for at least 2 years

OP posts:
pastabest · 07/02/2018 12:39

so he loses his cool... then what will happen?

Sounds like he needs to grow up.

Bloomed · 07/02/2018 12:40

That would drive me mad too! I agree with a pp to calculate how much this storage is 'costing' you.

Jammycustard · 07/02/2018 12:40

Maybe time for you to ‘lose your cool’ op. Why’s he such a nob about it?

Urubu · 07/02/2018 12:40

Just say "you have had the use of the box room for 2y, now it is my turn for the next 2y"
Simple, fair.

Original poster
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 07/02/2018 12:41

Pasta he'd stomp around like a toddler shouting and blaming everyone else for why it wasn't set up and then promise to set it up this weekend, then blame me and the kids cos he has no time

OP posts:
MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 07/02/2018 12:41

Have you tried "losing the plot" at him?

DriggleDraggle · 07/02/2018 12:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DriggleDraggle · 07/02/2018 12:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 07/02/2018 12:42

Jammy I think he doesn't want to admit that he no longer plays them. It has dominated very move.

OP posts:
Original poster
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 07/02/2018 12:44

Urubu that's actually a great suggestion and I'm going to say it. Thanks

Driggle I'm not having it in my bedroom. I've had to have that monstrosity in my bedroom in a load of rentals. If he used it I'd have no issue but it's just there in the way

OP posts:
Wellfuckmeinbothears · 07/02/2018 12:44

I would move it yourself, ignore his tantrums! He can stomp about the house like a man child as much as he likes and it'll be bloody annoying while he does but surely he'll eventually get over it and if its been there unused for 2 years he'll probably be too bloody lazy to get it back down himself! If he shouts or blames just keep reminding him it hadn't been used for two years and you have been asking him to either set it up or move it for that whole time.

Men who constantly procrastinate irritate the hell out of me!

GrowThroughWhatYouGoThrough · 07/02/2018 12:45

I'd tell him I had binned it and move it to the attic! How relived he will be when he finds it there 😂

Original poster
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 07/02/2018 12:45

Milk I can stand up for myself alright but he just always makes me feel that he's no time to do anything with them.

Driggle he's a complete dick

OP posts:
chickenowner · 07/02/2018 12:45

Is he ever nice to you OP?

Original poster
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 07/02/2018 12:47

Chicken he can be nice but procrastinates all the time and is untidy (but thinks he is so tidy) and creates chaos in the house. I'm so sick of him

OP posts:
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