To think she should be doing more...

[Dancingfairy]

My nephew is staying here whilst my sister is away. For the last two days he hasn't been to school. I've woken him up 5 times today but he just ignores me. He's currently in bed now still. My sister keeps saying things like "see what I have to deal with" erm I don't need to see what you have to deal with as it's not my problem. When my kids go to school I want my house to myself but no. I set my alarm much earlier than what I get up to get him up and he just doesn't listen. She hasn't once called to speak to him about it and instead keeps getting me to call his school to explain he won't be in. Aibu in thinking she could do more??

Im a socialworker but not in the UK. If your situation had arisen here you would be legally obliged to notify SS. There is a child who is being neglected. His mother hasnt taken him to the dr when he clearly needs help. You have first hand knowledge of this

As I foster carer in the UK, you are so, so right! I'm afraid this child, let down by ALL the adults around him, is at the beginning of a very slippery slope. Neglect like this is very difficult to recover from, it''s obviously not as obvious as physical abuse, but in many ways that makes it worse. One of the children I care for is trying to come to terms with the fact that her parents did not take care of her health needs by taking her to a doctor when she so desperately needed it. It's very difficult for her to understand and accept that her parents simply did not care enough/could be bothered/were too busy with their lives. Not only that is aso the fact other adults/family did not care enough to step in and try to get her help either. It will haunt her long into adulthood. Though thankfully, of course, she did survive, which she may not have done these health needs included depression or suicidal thoughts.

It wasn't me who brought them up. I won't mention them again if others don't. Like I said will speak to her about taking him to the drs.

What about speaking to the school or other teen agencies?

Hi OP, how is your nephew doing at the moment?
Have you been able to talk to him and tell him that you are concerned about him?
I think that he would really appreciate you taking the time to sit and speak with him, even if he does just shrug. Please persevere with him, as he doesn't seem to have anyone else to turn to!

He's no longer here.
Will call the school but it's half term now have to wait.

Have you been able to talk to him and tell him that you are concerned about him?I think that he would really appreciate you taking the time to sit and speak with him, even if he does just shrug. Please persevere with him, as he doesn't seem to have anyone else to turn to!

A common thread running through so many of the foster children I care for is that they believed (sadly correctly in many cases) that they were not worthy of any adult's time and attention. That after so many years of their needs being ignored, they believed it was their fault and they were unloveable, or as several foster children have told me "I'm not important enough to anyone." Please make your nephew realise he IS important enough to you, even if he rebuffs you dozens of times. Please do that.

^^what lonelymelissa said above.
I am sorry you have become upset and cross by the thread OP but PLEASE help your nephew, he needs someone as both his parents seem to be failing him.

I was quite astounded when I first posted and probably projecting rather. If you need support to support him then please ask as many of us here with experience of teen depression as you need to. We went through the whole “pull your socks up” deal with DS before the penny dropped that this was more than typical teenage lethargy and ‘attitude’ and that he badly needed us to realise that. The CALM (campaign against living miserably) helpline is great as can social services be of you are able to impress upon them the specific difficulties your DN is experiencing. Try and talk to him, even if that means chipping away at his defensive wall, gently and with love and concern. I think it’s common for teens (regardless of how ineffectual parents may have been up until this point) to not want to burden anyone with their woes - particularly if they feel that people haven’t time or the ability to help them see the wood for the trees. I know DS still struggles with the fact that we spend hours and hours each week supporting him whether that be fighting for his educational rights, access to treatment or just the night waking and checking him or sleepless hospital stays when he’s made an attempt on his life. To the parent that looks like resentment, anger, rejection but it is still essential to keep on supporting and talking when talking is what they are able to do. When you call school, think of it as sharing a problem as they can offer you insight from an alternative perspective as much as you can share are then able to share the burden of your concerns with them. Good luck in this.

Can I just say that these issues are not unique to teenagers. Depression often starts or intensifies at University or beyond. I have an adult son living at home who is suicidally depressed. It's has drained me beyond belief to keep trying to help and be there for him , to the point where I am struggling to cope myself, but I love him, and consider his needs more important than my own. It is our job as parents (or extended family) to help and support children or adults with depression or mental health issues. They can't fight for themselves in many cases. i have not found GPs, or any other agency to be any use at all, sadly. Sometimes the family are left fighting a lonely battle on their own. Depression and mental health is an absolute burgeoning situation in this country. It is the way we live .. our busy lives, our addiction to gadgets and lack of extended family support which is partly to blame. Anti depressants are used to damp down symptoms instead of addressing the causes.
The situation of this poor boy is incredibly common in schools and universities. It's easy to confuse laziness with being unwell, but if someone is talking about feeling suicidally depressed, for God's sake be on that child or adult's side and do all you can. There is NO excuse for not doing so

Op, what on earth was he punished for?

I really worry that you don’t understand how serious this could be.