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Original poster

To wish I had never bought the fucking xbox

283 replies

theduchessstill · 03/02/2018 08:56

I have unplugged the xbox and put it away after another morning of screaming and arguing over it. Ds2 is sobbing in my bed, DS1 is stomping about yelling he hates me and slamming doors and it's totally out of control and I don't know what to do.

They are allowed 2 hours each on the weekend days and get up at the crack of dawn to get on it. They tend to split their turns into segments and, especially in the case of ds2, the in-between bits tend to consist of him whining and checking the time, no matter what I try to interest him in etc.

After several warnings about the whining and arguing resulting in a total ban I have followed through and taken it away, so WW3 has erupted. I know I should have followed through sooner but I am constantly being told by ds1 that I have ruined his life by divorcing and that 'normal' people have far more time on their Xboxes than he does and I do kind of think it's rough on them that they don't have one at their dad's, so that's why I've been reluctant to put it away - it was a Christmas present.

So fed up of looking forward to my weekends with them just for them to erupt in a shitstorm of crying and yelling. I even bought a second telly so they could do different things at different times, but ds2, wh has always loved watching The Voice with me declared it boring this morning and went off to clock-watch. WTF do I do?

OP posts:
ReanimatedSGB · 03/02/2018 12:18

Anyone who's all 'waah waaah waah, screen time' is a bit of a dick, really. Computer games are an enjoyable hobby - you cause problems by making a big deal of them for your DC and setting up pointless petty rules about how much time they can spend on a leisure activity they enjoy before they have to go and do something equally unproductive that you think they 'ought to be doing instead'.

And the utter smug twattery of insisting that children play board games instead of computer games is fairly mind-blowing.

Get a cheap second console, OP and let them use their free time doing what they want to do.

Fintress · 03/02/2018 12:19

I bet people on here would not dream of restricting reading a book for 4 hours a week

I would commit murder!! And before anyone says reading books is educational, the type I read certainly isn't by any stretch of the imagination unless you are looking for creative ways to do away with someone Grin

LannieDuck · 03/02/2018 12:20

Amusingly, similar conversations have been had about the dangers of too much reading in the past:

www.historytoday.com/frank-furedi/media%E2%80%99s-first-moral-panic

"When cultural commentators lament the decline of the habit of reading books, it is difficult to imagine that back in the 18th century many prominent voices were concerned about the threat posed by people reading too much."

TheCatsPaws · 03/02/2018 12:21

I once read a book solidly for 18 hours as a child. I got it the day it was released and continued, in the car (we were going on holiday), to the resort, and stayed up until it was finished.

If that’d been a console, you lot would have had an aneurysm.

DreamyMcDreamy · 03/02/2018 12:23

you cause problems by making a big deal of them for your DC and setting up pointless petty rules about how much time they can spend on a leisure activity they enjoy before they have to go and do something equally unproductive that you think they 'ought to be doing instead'

No, because if they're on the entire weekend, all day, every day (which they would be if left to it) there would still be the attitude, the back chat, the grunts, the talking like crap to each other/arguing.
I know as when they're left on all day, they're still exactly the same.
Absolutely lovely after a few days off though.

TheCatsPaws · 03/02/2018 12:24

I used to spend every day of my school holidays building houses on the Sims. Sometimes for 8 hours! The horror! Shock

grannytomine · 03/02/2018 12:24

You've obviously never been an obsessive reader. If I have a book I am usually that engrossed I completely zone everyone and everything out. I am also 100% more likely to lose sleep because its easier to find a stop point in a game, than an addictive book. Couldn't agree more. Not to mention sobbing on a bus, laughing out loud so people think you're demented and suddenly starting a conversation about what is happening in the book which my husband finds totally confusing as he has no clue what I'm on about.

I have said to my children that the thing that worries me about getting old is that my eyesight might deteriorate and I won't be able to read.

worridmum · 03/02/2018 12:24

Yes people are scantrumonous about gaming in my work place there are people that look down on gaming saying they are idiots wasting their lives when in fact they watch rubbish soaps easternders ever night or obess over football how are these wastes of time better then gaming were you can problem sovle get creative minecraft if basically virtual lego... compared to passive reading books like twlightlight, watching 24 people kick a ball around or watch poorly acted daily soaps.....

TheCatsPaws · 03/02/2018 12:26

Worrid

It comes down to anything that’s not “mainstream” or let’s be honest, extroverted, being rubbished by everyone else. It’s ridiculous and I’ll call it out when I see it, bevayse growing up fairly introverted I used to fucking hate this attitude.

grannytomine · 03/02/2018 12:26

One of my GC strugged to learn to read, he lost all motivation. Then we stopped reading out the information on Xbox games and he had to make the effort. It really helped.

KriticalSoul · 03/02/2018 12:28

ftr, I've spent about 16hrs so far over yesterday and today playing Hearthstone.. I argue its educational because you have to learn what the cards do and strategize.

That's my argument and i'm sticking to it!

Elizanotlittle · 03/02/2018 12:30

I know theres a lot if research but it does actually provide skills. Happy medium to anything but cold cause binges same as limiting sugar

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/06/170622103824.htm

TheCatsPaws · 03/02/2018 12:30

I used to play praetorians and Rome Total War. Learned loads about history. And I learned to play chess online.

But I should’ve been watching MTV, drinking in the park and tanning myself orange like other teenage girls I guess. Hmm

TheStoic · 03/02/2018 12:30

I’ve banned the PlayStation in this house, for now. My son was a different kid when he played it - furiously angry, swearing. It didn’t look like a whole lot of fun to me.

KriticalSoul · 03/02/2018 12:31

granny, my Ds is autistic and hates reading books, he's happy for me to read to him.

However, his drive to understand and play his console games advanced his reading/spelling skills because he wanted to read tutorials and non-fiction fact books on Minecraft, and follow the speech on games like skylanders, and read the in-game cards on Hearthstone...etc.

He's getting 95-100% in his school mock SATS and can talk for HOURS on subjects that interest him.

But of course, gaming just turns peoples brains to cabbage....

Tinkerbec · 03/02/2018 12:31

You could argue that watching a film or Tv is more vegative than playing on an x box.

grannytomine · 03/02/2018 12:31

TheStoic maybe it was the game rather than the PlayStation.

TheCatsPaws · 03/02/2018 12:31

At least games are interactive and you have to think about what you’re doing.

TheStoic · 03/02/2018 12:33

TheStoic maybe it was the game rather than the PlayStation.

It didn’t seem to matter which game, they all ended up enraging him.

twinsmummy5 · 03/02/2018 12:38

My kids drive me mad with Xbox and I’m constantly saying I wish I never bought them however that can also be a godsend and they do learn from them !
They used to share but then it created more arguments so they put their birthday money together and bought another one and another tv so now have one each .
On week days they play it but have to come off at 8 (I’m mean all their friends play untill around 10) , but they also come off to eat dinner , do homework , play a game with me and their dad or watch football matches so it’s not constant . They also have football training Thursdays so off at 5:30 , and their nans after school Fridays so not on it until 7 .
Weekends , Saturday they like to wake up early thinking they can go straight on however the rule is no untill around 9 or 10 as long as they’ve eaten breakfast . They come off fine I f we’re going out but if I say come off for a break then it’s another storey and a few times I’ve switched it off at the plug !
Sunday’s they play early morning football so go on when they’re back . I like to plan other things so they’re not stuck on it all the time but that’s just what they like to do and their friends play xbox way more than they do !
You need to find what works for you , get a second hand one so they can play at the same time and stop arguments you can do this thing called home Xbox so you don’t have to buy games twice !
2 hours isn’t a lot I agree there’s barely much they can do in that time I’ve watched my boys at times .

scatterolight · 03/02/2018 12:38

The posters asking would you take it away if it was a board game or lego are entirely missing the point. Do you think taking away those things would result in meltdowns, sobbing and declarations of hatred? The whole reason screen time is a problem is it's addictive nature which sparks obsession and an inability to enjoy less serotonin-filled activities. This is why kids react like banshees when screens are taken away from them. It's cold turkey.

There is extensive research about the damage over stimulation does to young brains. There is EVERY reason to be very wary of screens and gaming as a parent and ration it as much as possible.

Elouie · 03/02/2018 12:38

Hi OP

We had the same after Christmas , was so sick of DS (9) wandering around with his iPod in his hand playing games or watching people play games on YouTube!

DD is 7 and also likes the iPad but is not as bad.

We implemented and hour per day in the week. 6.30pm - 7.30pm so enough time to do something else before and time after to wind down for bed. And 2 hours on a weekend between 2 and 4.

If they are out for their activities at that time it's tough. The time doesn't change. But I chose those times as their activities impact the least so it's fair.

During the week they have to have pjs on l, teeth brushed, bags ready for the next day.

If they have friends round on a weekend it's more relaxed.

It's worked wonders for us. They clock watch a bit but closer to the time. Some evenings they've been so distracted they've forgotten about it.

We call it technology time and it includes Xbox l, iPad, iPods etc but not the TV as they are sociable when they're watching TV and we only have one in the house so can't shut themselves away.

DreamyMcDreamy · 03/02/2018 12:38

I’ve banned the PlayStation in this house, for now. My son was a different kid when he played it - furiously angry, swearing

Mine are the same,complete personality change when on it.

Elizanotlittle · 03/02/2018 12:39

No, because if they're on the entire weekend, all day, every day (which they would be if left to it) there would still be the attitude, the back chat, the grunts, the talking like crap to each other/arguing.
I know as when they're left on all day, they're still exactly the same.
Absolutely lovely after a few days off though.

Isn't that just personality though? Not all children behave like this.

MotherofaSurvivor · 03/02/2018 12:41

Kritical You spend most of your day on your laptop???? Hmm

Not exactly setting a great example there are you?

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