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Original poster

To wish I had never bought the fucking xbox

283 replies

theduchessstill · 03/02/2018 08:56

I have unplugged the xbox and put it away after another morning of screaming and arguing over it. Ds2 is sobbing in my bed, DS1 is stomping about yelling he hates me and slamming doors and it's totally out of control and I don't know what to do.

They are allowed 2 hours each on the weekend days and get up at the crack of dawn to get on it. They tend to split their turns into segments and, especially in the case of ds2, the in-between bits tend to consist of him whining and checking the time, no matter what I try to interest him in etc.

After several warnings about the whining and arguing resulting in a total ban I have followed through and taken it away, so WW3 has erupted. I know I should have followed through sooner but I am constantly being told by ds1 that I have ruined his life by divorcing and that 'normal' people have far more time on their Xboxes than he does and I do kind of think it's rough on them that they don't have one at their dad's, so that's why I've been reluctant to put it away - it was a Christmas present.

So fed up of looking forward to my weekends with them just for them to erupt in a shitstorm of crying and yelling. I even bought a second telly so they could do different things at different times, but ds2, wh has always loved watching The Voice with me declared it boring this morning and went off to clock-watch. WTF do I do?

OP posts:
Sevendown · 03/02/2018 09:10

You’ll need to get them one each.

Xboxes are hell.

2 -10- hours are never enough.

araiwa · 03/02/2018 09:10

your own fault for being unreasonable about its usage

charlestonchaplin · 03/02/2018 09:11

I was allowed far more time on games when I was growing up than 2 hours at the weekend. (I’m in my twenties)

And?

jaseyraex · 03/02/2018 09:12

How old are they? A couple of hours at the weekend isn't a lot for gaming, especially depending on what they play. I gamed a lot when I was younger, I don't get the time these days, and a few hours at the weekend would have been super frustrating. I was allowed to play as long as I liked after dinner and finishing homework so long as I went to bed on time. I could play all weekend as long as I took breaks. I went to school, I had friends, I went out. Gaming isn't the devil that a lot of people make it out to be these days. If they're older like early teens then one console each is the way to solve the problem. I would have hated sharing with my brother.

TheCatsPaws · 03/02/2018 09:12

And it’s pretty unreasonable to only give them 2 hours a day at the weekend.

LiveLifeWithPassion · 03/02/2018 09:12

We have a rule of Xbox after 3 if we’re in.
I got fed up of it first thing in the morning. They were getting up especially early to go on it.

PlainWhiteTee · 03/02/2018 09:13

FGS, why did you bother getting them it if you're not going to let them properly enjoy having it. 2 hours on an Xbox probably passes in a flash.

It's only 9am, you're in for a very long weekend if this is how its starting.

ItsMeUsername · 03/02/2018 09:14

Honestly, I think 2 hours is a bit restrictive. I would agree most boys have far more time than that.

My two eldest boys have an Xbox in their room (11&7), I don't limit their time on it. Of course, there's a limit - I wouldn't allow 6 hours straight, but I let them have their fun, and you will find that eventually they get bored and want to do something else. I think by specifying such a short time, especially over the weekend it will cause far more arguments than if you didn't.

Canyouguess · 03/02/2018 09:14

Those saying “oh it’s not enough. You’re being unfair”

Have you read how these children behaved when the pre agreed time (2 hours PER DAY (not over the entire weekend) was up.

A shit storm of tantrums, crying, slammed doors.

That just unacceptable and is concerning that something could cause that kind of behaviour.

DamnCommandments · 03/02/2018 09:15

How is it unreasonable? Two hours a day each is four hours a day between them - that's an entire morning on the console. Mine get to spend weekend mornings on screens, but then get told to turn it off at lunch time. Seems fine to me.

taekwondo · 03/02/2018 09:15

I don't know! I think this is unreasonable, ds plays and I play, we have a console each! We play side by side and sometimes for hours! It's brilliant fun! If I was told I only had two hours and had to break that time up, I don't think I'd be very happy either! And neither would ds!!

JustVent · 03/02/2018 09:15

We’ve been there.

Twice.

The second time the TV got smashed. The Xbox is never seeing daylight again...

TheCatsPaws · 03/02/2018 09:16

No one acts like this about musical instruments, or football, or reading. It’s always gaming that’s the hobby that gets crapped on.

Bluedoglead · 03/02/2018 09:17

2hours isn’t enoughfor them to get anywhere in a game.

What ages are They?

TheEagle · 03/02/2018 09:17

I think their age is relevant so it would be good to know that for context.

Could you relax the rules a bit and say that first you do a family activity (walk, playground, game together) and then they can play the XBox for the afternoon?

The electronic timer on the box itself sounds like a good idea too.

If they’re quite young then I agree that 2 hours is plenty. My boys are all 4 and younger though so it’s easy for me to say.

JustVent · 03/02/2018 09:17

@taekwondo is that because there’s just one child playing it?

Try two boys. It’s hell.

The screaming, crying, shouting and arguing is still ringing in my ears 12 months later.....

The shattering of the TV screen and the instant relief that washed over me.

taekwondo · 03/02/2018 09:17

On a side note though, ds also had a tantrum over it a few nights ago. The first one ever. And it was taken away at that point for that day and the next.

If you're going to want correct behaviour then you have to act on it the minute you see it.

Ds behaviour hasn't repeated.

Earlyriser84 · 03/02/2018 09:18

I used to play on my PlayStation when I was growing for whole days sometimes at the weekend. I still got top grades in my exams

Maybe just leave them to it for longer one day a week. Although I probably wouldn't say that normally, but this morning I'm in a anything for a quiet life type of mood

taekwondo · 03/02/2018 09:18

@JustVent I don't know, maybe, also as I mentioned in a previous post he's only had one tantrum and it's been nipped in the bud. But I still say a broken up 2 hours is quite frustrating, though the boys need to learn to deal with it better

Addy2 · 03/02/2018 09:19

I totally get the limit! Kids in my class do nothing all weekend but game. It's addictive and prevents them from getting fresh air /exercise/picking up a book now and again. It interrupts the sleep of many. Also, the whole chatting online thing - I've had to explain more than once that just because your online friends sound like children doesn't mean they are. I presume there are parental controls that can be put in place, but many parents don't know how or realise the content of the games. Just because 'all the other kids' have unlimited time doesn't mean it's a good thing.

That said, I did game as a teenager and it is important for teenagers to have some autonomy in their free time- could they earn extra time in the evening by doing useful or productive things? If the kids are above thirteen or so I'd be tempted to raise the limit. Obviously not in reaction to the current tantrum though - wait a bit so they don't think that's the way forward.

TheEagle · 03/02/2018 09:19

As in, it’s easy for me to say 2 hours is enough on a console when we haven’t entered the world of consoles here yet!

I don’t think anyone is “shitting on” gaming as a hobby, it’s the wider view about managing screen time for young children.

TheCatsPaws · 03/02/2018 09:20

Screen time has to be one of the most pretentious parenting phrases. It’s up there with “boobing” and “baby wearing”.

TheEagle · 03/02/2018 09:20

Also what addy2 said

ConstantlyCold · 03/02/2018 09:21

2 hours doesn’t sound like much. I totally understand why you want to limit it.

I quite like the plan of leaving them to it on aSaturday but not touching it on Sunday.

JustVent · 03/02/2018 09:21

@taekwondo, you don’t know if you’re just playing with one kid? Hmm

There’s no maybe about it. If you haven’t experienced two children playing it together then writing a reply to the OP disagreeing that it’s hell on earth isn’t valid because you haven’t experienced what the OP has....