To wish I had never bought the fucking xbox

[theduchessstill]

I have unplugged the xbox and put it away after another morning of screaming and arguing over it. Ds2 is sobbing in my bed, DS1 is stomping about yelling he hates me and slamming doors and it's totally out of control and I don't know what to do.

They are allowed 2 hours each on the weekend days and get up at the crack of dawn to get on it. They tend to split their turns into segments and, especially in the case of ds2, the in-between bits tend to consist of him whining and checking the time, no matter what I try to interest him in etc.

After several warnings about the whining and arguing resulting in a total ban I have followed through and taken it away, so WW3 has erupted. I know I should have followed through sooner but I am constantly being told by ds1 that I have ruined his life by divorcing and that 'normal' people have far more time on their Xboxes than he does and I do kind of think it's rough on them that they don't have one at their dad's, so that's why I've been reluctant to put it away - it was a Christmas present.

So fed up of looking forward to my weekends with them just for them to erupt in a shitstorm of crying and yelling. I even bought a second telly so they could do different things at different times, but ds2, wh has always loved watching The Voice with me declared it boring this morning and went off to clock-watch. WTF do I do?

I think we all regret the Xbox but what to do ? No one wants to be the parent that makes their child the odd one out.

It's only brought misery to our house - as have the smart phones.

My 9yr old DS got an xbox for Christmas. We already had various Nintendo consoles in the house but his behaviour since getting the Xbox has really deteriorated. Same as many posters above, tantrums when asked to turn it off, not wanting to do ANYTHING else and complaining/refusing to take part in other activities. I am generally quite laid back, but reached the end of my tether with it.
I followed through with my threat and removed all the gaming consoles when he was at school last Friday. Emailed his class teacher regarding his refusal to do reading at home or topic homework (it's optional so they don't get into trouble for not doing it). Asked her to send him home with what she expected him to compete for the following week. The only thing I let didn’t remove was his Kindle which has YouTube and a few games apps on it, so he still has an electronic device. 9 days later, he's still complaining but less virulently. I have said it's not being returned until I see a consistent change in attitude.

Why are you being so controlling? Why SHOULDN'T they spend all weekend on it if they want to?

I would be having a serious chat with DS1 and giving him a stern talking to!
Divource doesn’t make you an entitled turd - your attitude does! I would be talking to him about the complete lack of respect and telling him if he continues to make such remarks he will be grounded until he learns to be respectful

It is exactly like crack cocaine for some children. I lock ours away and it comes out for 2 hrs a week 1 hour at a time because having it out all the time causes so much trouble. Although sometimes I seriously think about getting rid of it. My DS wants to play on it all the time and it causes him such anguish to think about when he’s next having it, he gets miserable and doesn’t want to do anything else. Gamerchic educate yourself please. You sound ignorant about the problems consoles can cause children. It’s an age of instant gratification and even people in the industry don’t let their own children near them and iPads because they cause the same reactions in the brain that drugs do, releasing dopamine and leaving them constantly wanting more and being unable to want to do anything else.

I long for the days when kids ran about outside and played on their bikes and had fresh air. Impossible with all the cars about these days. Such a shame. I would love to live somewhere where this was possible.

Hide it. Smash it. Make it disappear. It is eating their minds. Buy them some books and take them to the library.

The most hysterical reaction goes to..... ^^ buuuurrrn it or you’ll go to hell

Made me night that

Gamerchic educate yourself please

I’m assume you’re talking to me?

I don’t need educating on gaming... it’s because I’m a gamer I don’t have any of these problems that people seem to throw up on these threads. I don’t fear it, know exactly how much time and what games are suitable for each child in the house regardless of age ratings. I’m far more observant and diligent than those who do a cross sign at them and write them off through ignorance.

We have a console. My kids don't really play on it. My 7 yr old Ds would play on it 24/7 if allowed to the detriment of every other activity. Therefore they don't play at all. My 12 year old Ds doesn't play on it either. He is not socially isolated.

We bought our kids an Xbox for Christmas. It hasn’t been touched yet.

Where do all of you live? I've lived in Australia and Britain. I really haven't noticed any difference between country/race/cultural group/income level/education level/town/country etc. Almost no one I have kniw has ever had one. Reading some of the posts it sounds like it may be a localised thing with children who are in friendship groups all having one. Maybe it is particular to some schools or something?

Instead of letting them become obsessed with gaming why not take them out swimming, bike riding, running, tramolining, tennis or anything else to tire them out. My 11 year old is not aloud to game and 1-2 hours tv per day. He is never bored and always busy with his hobbies and activities. Gaming is as addictive as a drug. Don't feed their habbit.

Mine played video games endlessly, but also made it out of house to play real life football, tennis, sporty stuff, too. They also squabbled, drew blood, endlessly.
Also passed exams, eventually! One with a first in a proper fancy degree. Don’t worry too much. I did, for all the good it did. Honestly, I wish someone had told me, just love them, cook, care, etc. It will work out. And you will miss those days more than you can ever imagine.

I lock ours away and it comes out for 2 hrs a week 1 hour at a time because having it out all the time causes so much trouble. Although sometimes I seriously think about getting rid of it. My DS wants to play on it all the time and it causes him such anguish to think about when he’s next having it, he gets miserable and doesn’t want to do anything else.

And you don't think that the fact you lock it away and allow a measly 2 hours a week is linked to his obsession with it? I mean, 1 hour at a time twice a week you might as well get rid of it

I always played video games growing up. Amstrad, gameboy, commodore 64, mega drive, SNES, PS1&2. They are all a part of my childhood. I never got addicted, in fact that didn't seem to be a thing back then. The hysteria around gaming seems to be a recent development

I read somewhere that heroin is only addictive for about a quarter of those who try it instead of the hundred per cent one always assumes for one of the most addictive substances in the world. I guess that means that some people are more prone to addiction than others and this would go for children too. The posters on this thread seem divided between ‘computer gaming is ruining my family’s life’ and ‘ the children are not that fussed’.

I think that the game boxes and games’ inventors ban their children from using them must be a string pointer as to what to do since they must have first hand research knowledge of how it is hardwiring children’s minds. I would still be inclined to keep them out of the house and focus on books and activities instead. I am not convinced by the argument, ‘I did it and it did me no harm’.

A rule with computer games might well be that if they bore the children they are safe and if the children are desperate to play on them they should be banned.

Agree with teacher 22 completely. I get it's not a problem for some families but I've seen so many kids unable to tear themselves away from screens. But may be I am a luddite. For example, I always take colouring pens and paper out with me if we're eating out as a family. No screens at the table. But that's another debate!

No pawpainting I don’t. I used to leave it out all the time and my son wouldn’t want to stop playing it.

I never got addicted, in fact that didn't seem to be a thing back then.

There are quite a lot of things that 'didn't exist' before we discovered that actually they did. Like depression, coeliac disease and autism.

dear Theduchessstill Congratulations! From your second message it's obvious you are an example of how to deal with the situation! I mean it - Well done!

It depends on the child - my stepson is 15 and is interested in nothing except gaming - his dad and stepdad are both gamers too plus his stepbrothers so that doesn't help. But he will go into his room and spend all weekend in there if we don't enforce a break every now and again. He doesn't stop to eat if we don't tell him to and even then it's the quickest thing possible so that he can get back to gaming. When he was younger he used to have terrible tantrums over it so we restricted game time and he responded much better to an alarm set for the end of gaming time than to us telling him it's time to come off. We keep suggesting he gets out at weekends, sees friends etc but he chats online so no need to leave the house! From talking to friends with similar age kids I think this is fairly typical, I would much rather he spent less time in his virtual world and more time in the real one but I guess there's plenty of time for that when he's an adult!

Oh lethaldrizzle I take colouring everywhere for my 4 year old, no screens for her if I can help it!

Doremi, yes, about 15yrs old, that is how it can be! Realism....

My DS of 15 is made to walk the dog, and does some sport too, but last Saturday he spent about 10hrs gaming, whilst talking to his friends on his headset. We can hear him laughing and chatting. He seems happy tbh.

Hard to find a balance, he is too old for colouring books and playgrounds

10thingsIhate yes it's very hard to find a balance - we usually insist on all watching a family film together on a Saturday afternoon - another one that's tricky though with a 4 year old and a 15 year old! We get him involved in cooking sometimes and he comes with us when we visit family. We let him stay home if we take our daughter out but he has a couple of chores to do before he goes on the Xbox....I just don't get the non-social thing with teenagers nowadays, I couldn't wait to get out of the house and see my friends but I guess now they don't have to leave to be able to chat!

Sorry Theduchess I said "from your second message".. should have been from yr msg saying "in the end you had quite a good day." I get lost on the msgs! Anyway you shd be proud of yourself and don't let any of their moodiness get to you. It's part of being a mum and it's preparation for those teenage years! Good luck! I think you are doing great! (terrible grammar but exactly my sentiments!)