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Original poster

To wish I had never bought the fucking xbox

283 replies

theduchessstill · 03/02/2018 08:56

I have unplugged the xbox and put it away after another morning of screaming and arguing over it. Ds2 is sobbing in my bed, DS1 is stomping about yelling he hates me and slamming doors and it's totally out of control and I don't know what to do.

They are allowed 2 hours each on the weekend days and get up at the crack of dawn to get on it. They tend to split their turns into segments and, especially in the case of ds2, the in-between bits tend to consist of him whining and checking the time, no matter what I try to interest him in etc.

After several warnings about the whining and arguing resulting in a total ban I have followed through and taken it away, so WW3 has erupted. I know I should have followed through sooner but I am constantly being told by ds1 that I have ruined his life by divorcing and that 'normal' people have far more time on their Xboxes than he does and I do kind of think it's rough on them that they don't have one at their dad's, so that's why I've been reluctant to put it away - it was a Christmas present.

So fed up of looking forward to my weekends with them just for them to erupt in a shitstorm of crying and yelling. I even bought a second telly so they could do different things at different times, but ds2, wh has always loved watching The Voice with me declared it boring this morning and went off to clock-watch. WTF do I do?

OP posts:
JustMarriedAndLovingIt · 03/02/2018 10:18

2 hours is a bit stingy. No wonder they’re miffed. I would definitely let them have more, they’re only kids once. My son plays what he wants at the weekend but it’s mainly on a Saturday as he plays rugby on a Sunday. Then during the week, it’s homework first, then Xbox. Although 2 night a week he has rugby and every other week he has youth club. Works well for us. He’s 14.

NewYearNiki · 03/02/2018 10:20

This is why I dont understand why pokemon go was ridiculed alot when it came out.

The game literally doesn't work unless you go out and walk. You have to walk to pokestops and to particpate in raids and to hatch eggs. Eggs vary from 2k to 10k and the game uses gps and disables above a certain speed so there is no cheating by driving the distances instead, you have to walk.

You can incorporate it on a long family walk and it is a fun thing to do.

it's totally out of control and I don't know what to do.

I'd sell the bloody thing on eBay if they ever behave like that again.

RainyApril · 03/02/2018 10:27

I agree with pp who have said that two hours is nothing if you are trying to complete a game. And you say that the two hours is split up into several sessions of, what, an hour? Thirty minutes? It really would be very frustrating and I can understand their irritation at not being able to play properly, or use it as their friends do. With such limitations their friends won't invite them to parties because they'll be quitting before they've got going.

In my house - no x box at all on school nights, no x box on Saturday until all homework and chores are done, no arguing if I plan something else (visitors, trip out, family movie) and the rest of the time is theirs.

Making them think they've got unlimited play time means they never argue when I tell them it's time to switch off to go out, or for meals and in fact we also do lots of sport, play board games and all of the other things you'd expect. It's like a diet, people get obsessive when anything is restricted.

Greyhorses · 03/02/2018 10:31

DH loves to game (and I used to when I had time) and can spend way more than 2 hours just getting into a game. I can see why it’s frustrating for them to have to keep stopping and starting.

SoupDragon · 03/02/2018 10:34

Mine were only allowed on the Xbox on Friday, Saturday and Sunday during term time, athough it wasn’t limited at the weekends and they had to stop occasionally to do “family”activities”. As soon as they fought over whose turn it was (with anything, not just the Xbox) I would threaten to take it away if they didn’t sort it out. They sorted it out.

diodati · 03/02/2018 10:36

For DS (14), it's a social thing, too. If he didn't play, he wouldn't have any friends. He started off with Minecraft years ago and both DC got a PS4 for Christmas 2 years ago. He loves gaming but can only play after his homework and chores are done. He also plays footie twice a week and goes to the gym. DD (17) prefers Netflix, Snapchat and Instagram. Usually all 3 at once.

They quarrel over other things besides gaming. It's not as bad as it was earlier in their childhood (after their DF and I divorced - makes sense, poor things!). What bothers me is the lack of interest in reading. And this is apparently very common now. It's frightening and frustrating.

SoupDragon · 03/02/2018 10:37

This is why I dont understand why pokemon go was ridiculed alot when it came out.

When it first came out it was amazing. My teens walked the dog willingly and for a greater distance than they ever did without it! We used to go out for family walks in the evening to hunt Pokemon and would see lots of groups doing the same. It only lasted for that first summer though.

zzzzz · 03/02/2018 10:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 03/02/2018 10:42

Get another one second hand
Let them play on it all afternoon
Pour yourself a large glass of wine and relax.

Berthatydfil · 03/02/2018 10:46

I have 2 boys. They had one x box each as single player games are very boring, although they both moved onto pc gaming very quickly.
I never limited time as such but didn’t let it stop our normal activities like sports, school, homework etc
Oldest is now in uni doing medicine and youngest in 6th form. Both stil game.
To be honest I think you’re making a rod for your own back. It’s the forbidden fruit and it’s tasting very sweet.

OutyMcOutface · 03/02/2018 10:49

"Normal" people don't have xboxes. Well done OP. Stick to your guns. You children will thank you for it when they are older.

Tinkerbec · 03/02/2018 10:53

I agree with cat and Hazel.

I have no strict times and it’s available all of the time. So it hasn’t become a forbidden fruit.
My dd 9 hasn’t actually touched it this week. She has used her ipad but that’s to watch tutorials on how to draw horses. She has produced a lovely picture.

She does plenty of hobbies and goes to her Dads on a Saturday has friends over etc so we have never had a need to restrict it really. Some days is a lot more than others .I also don’t see the big deal.

GabsAlot · 03/02/2018 10:53

its the dong it in chunks thats prob the wrong thing

it takes ages to get to a certain point and u can only save at certain stages of games

maybe try longer for each of them say an hour at a time?

TheCatsPaws · 03/02/2018 10:54

Normal" people don't have xboxes. Well done OP. Stick to your guns. You children will thank you for it when they are older.

Do you live in an Amish commune?

barefoofdoctor · 03/02/2018 10:55

Onionknight Grin Send the X box to their Dad's and let him deal with it Wink

mimibunz · 03/02/2018 10:59

Discipline? Seriously, you are the parent and you make the rules for a reason. Do you want to raise children who whine when they don’t get their way? I don’t mean to be nasty, just think the parent is the one in charge.

Notasunnybunny · 03/02/2018 11:01

I’m loving the poster that doesn’t think screen time should be limited and is comparing gaming to learning a musical instrument. I’m really sad for their kids. They call it the electronic income reducer for a reason.

Qvar · 03/02/2018 11:05

Gaming is a addictive and releases huge amounts of chemicals that can change the chemistry of the brain and result in poor regulation. Look up Dr sigman.

www.badscience.net/2009/02/the-evidence-aric-sigman-ignored/

Dr sigman was such a quack he was featured on bad science.

TheCatsPaws · 03/02/2018 11:06

Was that at me, bunny? Hmm Because if so, my partner is a gamer and has a law degree, my father is a gamer and is a senior manager. I’m a gamer and was very academically successful too. Please don’t feel sorry my son, he’s very fortunate to have parents who remember what it’s like to be a kid.

The pretentious attitude from some of you.

NutElla5x · 03/02/2018 11:08

So you give them an xbox as THEIR Christmas present then declare they're only allowed to use it for a measly two hours a week? A bit tight that,no wonder the they're so miffed! At least let them have the whole afternoon/ evening on it at the weekends. After all what's the weekends for when you're a kid if not to relax and do things you enjoy?

Qvar · 03/02/2018 11:09

Op, I think you’re fundamentally misunderstanding the nature of modern computer games. They aren’t “addicting” and they don’t “release huge amounts of chemicals into the brain”. They are story based, well written and therefore interesting and long.

Your sins are telling you that two hours isn’t enough and other kids aren’t treated like this. They are absolutely correct. This is why they freak out under your restriction. Imagine you were given a Chinese takeaway and only allowed to eat one chicken ball once a week?

Notasunnybunny · 03/02/2018 11:11

I’ve been a gamer so can speak first hand. No good ever comes of gaming, everything you ‘achieve’ is complete nonsense and useless. Like an ex smoker hates smoke I am vehemently against consoles, I look back and the real tangible things I could have used my time for that would have made a real and lasting difference to myself, my family and the world. Instead I made treble figures in combat in runescape. It’s so tragic I’m ashamed.

TheCatsPaws · 03/02/2018 11:14

Oh my god, what the hell? You’re projecting your own experience onto everyone who games.

As for it being pointless, so is watching a film, or making cakes, or literally any other hobby. Life is pretty pointless, we’re all just trying to have fun and enjoy ourselves. Some people like games. Relax.

SkyIsTooHigh · 03/02/2018 11:17

Tinkerbec we have one child who works like that and another who is totally different. I don't think the difference is that one was correctly parented and we got it wrong with DC2. Giving unrestricted screen time is not a panacea, it works with SOME children.

WitchIwasaWitch18 · 03/02/2018 11:18

It's tricky I agree. After much angst with DD1 in which the thing was removed several times we've adapted to it. She produced a thought out essay on the positives of it and also pointed out she never watches TV, no soaps or that sort of rubbish. We agreed she can use it when she wants during her free time but if her school work was not done or began to suffer it stopped. She now has phases on it but can go weeks without bothering. Her younger sister is not really interested. I guess what I'm saying is we discussed it as equally as possible. She understood my worries and I understood her need for the social side and the thrill of it. She's 14 now and a top student and a mature and thoughtful person. Sometimes a blanket dictation backfires and creates more drama and tension than anyone can cope with. To see an adult lose her temper is not the best example of reason and mature behaviour.