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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be really upset at how my son was treated after being sick?

267 replies

lilyrosesblue · 03/02/2018 08:50

DS vomited in class yesterday. They were watching something and he sits near the back and he didnt faint but sort of went semi conscious.

When the teacher realised she was very good and comforted DS cleared up the sick and sent a child to get a 1st aider.

The other children then went to break and the 1st aider (deputy head) kept saying how badly it smelled and the teacher should not have cleared it up as its not her job. Teacher kept saying she didnt mind and the only thing she was concerned about was ds. But the deputy kept commenting on the smell. Two other members of staff then came in and said how disgusting this was.

DS was mortified. (He is nearly 11.) Is it worth putting in a complaint?

OP posts:

MrsMozart · 03/02/2018 08:51

A word if not a complaint.

Hope he's feeling better now.

LizzieSiddal · 03/02/2018 08:53

In short No, it isn’t worth putting in a complaint.

banannabreadforme · 03/02/2018 08:54

I'd have a chat and suggest that perhaps they could have had that conversation later on in private. The children didn't need to hear it and your son was upset. Thank the nice teacher. Hope your sons ok.

LIZS · 03/02/2018 08:54

So your child was cleaned up and looked after but you want to complain? Are you sure he is not mistaken about the extent of the comments, since he was unwell, it would not have been aimed at him after all .

Crumbs1 · 03/02/2018 08:57

Well.vo,it does smell. In a confined area like a classroom, it can be strong enough to start others off and is certainly unpleasant to sit in. That’s fact, not a judgement about your son. Why on earth would you complain? Assume at 11 he realises vomit smells?

Original poster

lilyrosesblue · 03/02/2018 09:00

LIZS i made it clear if i do complain it will not be about his teacher.

Crumbs how would you feel if after giving birth midwives had said how disgusting it was and how smelly? Thats how ds felt. Yes vomit smells but he didn't do it on purpose.

OP posts:

Finola1step · 03/02/2018 09:02

At worst, it is a conversation that should not have happened in your son's earshot. The Deputy is right in a sense that it wasn't the teacher's job...in an ideal world, schools would have sufficient funds to employ a premises person throughout the whole school day who can be on hand to deal with such problems. Ha ha.

But the teacher dealt with the situation well. Perhaps a card and some chocs for that teacher to say thank you.

QueenArnica · 03/02/2018 09:03

I think you’d be unreasonable to complain. Vomit stinks, fact. This wasn’t a personal attack on your son. God anyone who follows someone else in to the bathroom in this house after a number 2 crime is committed gets shouted at about the smell.
I’m not sure your midwife analogy works... very different scenario.
Hope your ds is feeling better.

Amanduh · 03/02/2018 09:03

it’s not the same situation as giving birth ffs.
Ahe said the room smelt dosguating, I assume it did. She probably didn’t realise it would upset your son. It’s not like it was aimed at him or telling him he was disgusting. As for telling the teacher she shouldn’t have cleaned it up, that’s fair enough and correct.
I don’t think it warrants a complaint.

falang · 03/02/2018 09:04

Yabu. They looked after him. They commented on the smell because it must have stank. No harm done to anyone.

missyB1 · 03/02/2018 09:04

Not a complaint as such no, but yes definitely mention it to the teacher so she can feed back to the very undiplomatic deputy head. Maybe something along the lines of

"Thank you so much for the kind way you looked after ds when he was sick, but he was a bit upset buy Mrs X comments about the smell. Perhaps you could mention it to her so she can try to be more diplomatic in the future?"

Amanduh · 03/02/2018 09:04

*disgusting

KayaG · 03/02/2018 09:04

Don't complain, you'll look foolish. It was dealt with and the teacher went above and beyond her duty.

LavenderDoll · 03/02/2018 09:05

It's nothing like giving birth

He was sick

Sick smells

Bahhhhhumbug · 03/02/2018 09:06

These are essentially teachers not nurses so don't expect to have to clean up vomit as part of their job but they did, it obviously grossed them out. You should be grateful they cleaned it up, lm pretty sure a lot of teachers wouldn't take that on as part of their job, even a first aider.
In the old days a bucket of sawdust was thrown down till all absorbed then swept up later. No doubt the H&S brigade have stopped that now, or have they?

insancerre · 03/02/2018 09:07

I think you should be grateful the teacher helped him
When ds was at high school the teacher made him clear up someone else's sick
Ds didn't even know the lad, he was just sitting next to him
I did complain about that as I was livid
I get the teacher didn't want to deal with it but to tell a child to do it was bang out of order
I wrote a rant to the head about how PPE would have been required for staff but none was offered to a child and duty of care around health and safety of children
Ds received a head teachers commendation and I got a letter of apology

Original poster

lilyrosesblue · 03/02/2018 09:08

Yes i appreciate that but when you feel ill and vulnerable being surrounded by disgusted adults isn't helpful. I guess I am unreasnonable then. It makes me appreciate his lovely teacher even more.

There is a site manager but the teacher cleared it up straight away and actually said to ds she had been really ill when she had her baby so she sympathised thank god for nice teachers!

OP posts:

Gaelach · 03/02/2018 09:11

But vomit does stink. You know that, your DS knows that. If your DS felt mortified at the statement of facts, that's something you need to talk to him about. Not everything is an attack or intended to offend. If someone walks dog shit through the office, I'm allowed to say it stinks - I'm not attacking or judging the person who did it, it's just the truth.

pudcat · 03/02/2018 09:12

We were always told not clean up vomit but to cover it with sawdust or sand to keep the germs and smell at bay. Then to call the caretaker or cleaner who had the right tools and cleaning stuff to deal with it. Our duty was to care for the child by giving them clean clothes and helping them to wash etc. So the teacher was lovely to help child but not worth a complaint about the deputy as she was right about the smell.

acatcalledjohn · 03/02/2018 09:15

Yes, vomit does stink, but as a first aider you do not say that in front of the patient (and the rest of the class).

Original poster

lilyrosesblue · 03/02/2018 09:15

If a disabled child had a bowel movement would it be ok to say how awful and smelly and disgusting it was?

OP posts:

mirime · 03/02/2018 09:15

I think it was unkind of them. Yes, vomit stinks, but the person who has just been sick is well aware of that and doesn't need it emphasised at that point. I'm very prone to obvious retching when cleaning up sick, but I try and minimise it as best I can and wouldn't comment on the smell to whoever had been sick. Just not necessary.

NumbersLetters · 03/02/2018 09:16

I think it was thoughtless of them and really unkind towards your ds. I don't think a complaint is worthwhile, however.

Quartz2208 · 03/02/2018 09:17

At our school the caretaker would come - he would clean it up using the correct cleaning stuff and it would not smell (I accidentally broke a bottle of wine on school premises once and the way he cleaned it was amazing). It should have gone to him to clean up properly

I think this was about school issues etc with policies of how to clean up and nothing to do with your DS at all

Original poster

lilyrosesblue · 03/02/2018 09:18

This was what i was thinking. It just seemed so unkind when an ill child is already upset to go on about how smelly it is.

OP posts:

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