To be really upset at how my son was treated after being sick?

[lilyrosesblue]

DS vomited in class yesterday. They were watching something and he sits near the back and he didnt faint but sort of went semi conscious.

When the teacher realised she was very good and comforted DS cleared up the sick and sent a child to get a 1st aider.

The other children then went to break and the 1st aider (deputy head) kept saying how badly it smelled and the teacher should not have cleared it up as its not her job. Teacher kept saying she didnt mind and the only thing she was concerned about was ds. But the deputy kept commenting on the smell. Two other members of staff then came in and said how disgusting this was.

DS was mortified. (He is nearly 11.) Is it worth putting in a complaint?

I think you're being very precious - frankly your complaint would be round the staff room quicker than shit off a slippery stick and you will be that parent

The smelly comment in earshot of your son maybe wasn’t ideal but it’s not part of a teacher’s job to clean up vomit. I wouldn’t complain you’ll look like a knob.

It all depends on the tone and context, if they were in his face saying it was disgusting then that’s wrong otherwise unless your ds’s puke smells of roses you don’t have anything to complain about.

If my ds had come home and recalled that story, although he might have been embarrassed at the time, we would have laughed and agreed with the comments. He does sound overly sensitive, which is probably best not encouraged by complaints to school over nothing.

Have they had a complete empathy bypass?

Yes vomit stinks. We all know. It doesn't need saying. Especially not in front of a poorly 11 year old. They may havery done their jobs but they conducted themselves in an unprofessional manner. I think that's worth a mention.

I must say i really could not care less what is said about me in the staff room.

If people think it doesnt warrant a complaint fine. But my duty is to my children not worrying about gossip.

It was definitely thoughtless. People can be quite sensitive as to how their actions can affect other people and can feel quite embarrassed as a result. I don't think it's worth a complaint - maybe just tell your DS that some adults can be thoughtless and that's its not his problem?

Blackberry sometimes people do things that might not be nice for others but they cant help.

Elderly people.become incontinent ill people vomit.

Going on about how disgusting it is seems very unkind to me.

YaNbu op. Would we expect drs and nurses to comment on the stench of our poorly bowels or infected private parts or gangrenous limbs? Of course not. It's a horrible thing to do and I would certainly ask the head to have a chat.

Thanks radio i said to ds to focus on the kind people and model yourself on them.

Thank you unicorns thats what i meant.

I do think that as parents we need to teach our children his to cope with unkind words and actions from adults and other children
Resilience is extremely important
Yes, it was unkind and they shouldn't have said it, but they did, so learn to deal with it and move on
Life is too short to be constantly offended at what others say

I'd mention to the DHL that your Ds was upset by the comments.

I don't understand your complaint about "how he was treated." It sounds like he was looked after and they cleared up after him. So he overheard comments about the smell, so what? He needs to develop a thicker skin. It probably smelt awful!

Peng

Not the teacher who cleaned.

The teacher who made the comments.

I would definitely have a word. They were tactless, no need to add to your son’s distress and embarrassment by going on about it. Poor lad. I agree, a thank you card and some chics for lovely teacher.

chocs not chics ! Lol.

YANBU, OP, it was unkind to say that in front of your DS. The Deputy Head was correct in what she said, but she should have said it out of his earshot.

There are always so many posters who pile in to defend teachers on Mumsnet, it's actually funny. And I also wouldn't care what teachers said to each other about me in the staff room, I'm not looking for friendship from them.

Having said that, I wouldn't complain. I would thank your DS's teacher for her kindness and mention privately to her that he was upset about the Deputy's comments.

I suspect he will also be worried that the kids in the playground will say worse things than this too.

Develop a thicker skin? Ignore unkind words?

My children must be very fortunate to be on a school where the children and staff are kind to each other...

Name calling and unkindness is discouraged.

how would you feel if after giving birth midwives had said how disgusting it was and how smelly? Thats how ds felt.

No it wasn't because he didn't give birth. Vomit does smell. No it isn't worth putting in a complaint.

The teacher should not have cleared it up. I'm a teacher and it has been made very clear to us we are not to do jobs like this. However, she did and it was nice that she was kind to your son (no excuse for anyone to be anything but kind). The people who came later were correct in reprimanding the teacher. Her cleaning it instead of leaving it to those properly equipped may have made it smell more afterwards - but the reprimanding should have been done later in private.

They probably shouldn't have said it smelt or was disgusting in front of everyone. It was a bit unthinking but probably not meant to be unkind. But I really wouldn't complain. I'd just tell your DS that they were a bit thoughtless and not to worry about it. That will build more resilience for him for the future than if you complain. Complaining might make you feel better, but won't make the best outcome for your DS in terms of handling future upsets.

Surprised at all the people saying "but it does smell". Yes, OK, but what does saying so achieve apart from making an upset child feel even worse about something that isn't his fault?

I'm not great with social rules and stuff but even I know about basic tact and empathy!