To be really upset at how my son was treated after being sick?

[lilyrosesblue]

DS vomited in class yesterday. They were watching something and he sits near the back and he didnt faint but sort of went semi conscious.

When the teacher realised she was very good and comforted DS cleared up the sick and sent a child to get a 1st aider.

The other children then went to break and the 1st aider (deputy head) kept saying how badly it smelled and the teacher should not have cleared it up as its not her job. Teacher kept saying she didnt mind and the only thing she was concerned about was ds. But the deputy kept commenting on the smell. Two other members of staff then came in and said how disgusting this was.

DS was mortified. (He is nearly 11.) Is it worth putting in a complaint?

Worra the nuts and bolts are thst it wasnt a kind way to treat him.

I have given birth; both times i soiled myself. I was stressed, embarrassed and upset by it. If the h/c professionals had said "ugh, doesn't it smell awful, how disgusting" I would have been really upset.

The tiny distinctions don't matter. There is no need to go on and on about the smell.

I agree OP. I would have a word and tell them that after the humiliation of being sick in class to have adults passive aggressively say how smelly it was when you're already embarrassed is just not on. Perhaps you could ask for a bit more tact in future. If this was a girl I'm not sure they would've been so vocal about it! Poor boy. What idiot adults!

Unicorn so many schools/other work places have clear policies about who should clean up bodily fluids and how.

The days are long gone when they threw a bit of sawdust over it and covered it with a chair.

Well someone needs to clear it up. Who does it is the deputy heads problem, not the students

THREE adult members of staff (not including the teacher who helped) decided to sick shame an 11 year old child.

What did they hope to achieve, other than embarrassing him? It's not like he did it on purpose. This is the kind of thing that haunts children into adulthood.

I don't think a diplomatically worded email (not a complaint as such) to the head would do any harm and may prevent this happening to other children.

I agree with you OP. I remember vomiting in class once when I was that sort of age (I had a migraine). I was mortified that I'd been sick in front of my classmates (kids aren't always kind). Having teachers making disparaging comments would have made the whole thing even worse.

The first teacher sounds brill. The deputy head is obviously not cut out for being a first aider. I would have expected them to do better, in either of their roles (deputy head / first aider should both be able to deal with ill children compassionately).

I think I would have to say something. Not a complaint, but maybe a quiet word.

Then have a word with the HT yourself OP. You're completely within your rights to do so.

Also, as your 10yr old was semi-conscious and lying in his own vomit, there's a chance he may have misunderstood some of the conversation.

I hope you sort it out and your DS feels better now.

Ils I don't think it was a reprimand per se. It was more "oh, you didnt need to touch it" and sympathising with her.

But I would not put her in that position, of course.

Thank you worra

YANBU. I would expect experienced teaching staff to be more aware of what they are saying and in whose earshot. I would certain mention it OP.

As for the teacher cleaning it up, if it wasn’t in her remit she shouldn’t have done it, she should have followed the school policy. At My DC’a school it would be done by the school caretaker not a teacher. Perhaps she needs to be retrained on the correct procedures?

Nice thank you card to the teacher, the others seem to be very imature and actually quite pathetic if they cant keep their opinions to themselves for a few minutes. I would probably mention to them directly about learning some tact for the future. I wouldnt care about being labelled that parent not all schools are wonderfull and not all staff are gods!

Good God. I tell my kids when they puke up it stinks.It fucking does. And
It's a fact of life. When I was at school about 25 yrs ago I puked up all over the maths classroom. Every kid was gagging and the teacher. A friend of mine still laughs about it now. Puke and shit smells. It's not a personal attack. I can hack my own kids sick smell but other peoples makes me gag. I hope your son feels better, and he probably feels embarrassed but face the facts it did smell. It's not a personal attack.

Not an official complaint, but I'd write to the head, saying that you feel that your son's sickness could have been handled better!

Reprimanded or not I certainly agree that it would not be appropriate for this teacher to be tasked with passing on a complaint to the deputy.

"If a disabled child had a bowel movement would it be ok to say how awful and smelly and disgusting it was?"

Depends if it was smelly and disgusting. I've wiped a good number of arses when working in schools with children with disabilities. I told each one that it was smelly and disgusting. Guess what, they all found it hilarious.

You're being very dramatic to be "really upset" and the tu quoque is low.

I agree with you OP. However I work with disabled adults and people seem to think these kind of comments are ok around them too, so I wouldn’t complain about it.

Just realise some people lack social skills.

I cannot fault his teacher. She asked someone to get the 1st aider and sent someone else to get ds a drink. She comforted him and talked to him quietly and told the other members of staff she didnt care about the smell, the only important thing was the child. She sympathised when he came round and said not to worry, it happened to her too.

This is not teacher bashing. She was kindness itself.

If you work in a primary school these things will happen, I cant understand why they made such a fuss.

And of course the OP didn't suggest complaining to the deputy through the teacher. My issue is that other people have.

Yeah, hysterical nextDay

Clearly Worra. So I'm asking who cleans it then and why them in particular and why a teacher doing it is seen as such a big no no?

I've cleaned up sick many times in a school as have many of my colleagues. The teachers don't usually do it as they usually carry on teaching but it would certainly wouldn't be a huge drama if one decided too. Everyone has the 5 minute training on how to chuck powder over it, how to scrape it up and where to dispose of it. It's not the big deal people are making out.

I've wiped a good number of arses when working in schools with children with disabilities. I told each one that it was smelly and disgusting.

NextDay I don't want to sound prissy but you tell disabled children they are disgusting when they soil themselves?

If i misunderstood I am really sorry.

I wasn't going to ils but she does have a rhank you card from ds and an amazon voucher from me