To be really upset at how my son was treated after being sick?

[lilyrosesblue]

DS vomited in class yesterday. They were watching something and he sits near the back and he didnt faint but sort of went semi conscious.

When the teacher realised she was very good and comforted DS cleared up the sick and sent a child to get a 1st aider.

The other children then went to break and the 1st aider (deputy head) kept saying how badly it smelled and the teacher should not have cleared it up as its not her job. Teacher kept saying she didnt mind and the only thing she was concerned about was ds. But the deputy kept commenting on the smell. Two other members of staff then came in and said how disgusting this was.

DS was mortified. (He is nearly 11.) Is it worth putting in a complaint?

To the posters who think it's ok to shame a child and dismisss how embarrassed the poor kid was. If you had been around someone like Kate Middleton (famously suffering from HG at the beginning of her pregnancy) and she had an episode, would you really and honestly have commented on "how awful it stinks" in front of her?

I don't understand the comparison to how professionals behave when you give birth.

The school staff are not trained health professionals.

Teaching does not often involve dealing with stinky body fluids.

Midwifery does not carry a high risk of catching the same yucky condition by dealing with those fluids!

Regarding the smell, surely they have disinfectant or bleach? Or open the window for a bit. People are sometimes a bit thick! I am sorry your ds was sick op. DS2 was sick at school when he was about 9. Hurled over his desk and right onto the (very nice) teacher!

Why are we bringing Kate Middleton into it?! Honestly, the hypothetical situations people post crack me up.

Nicknacky because if shaming someone is acceptable with one person, surely it's acceptable with everybody?

But ragged, if you work with children, especially in a primary school, these things will happen.

I understand the KM comparison. Its cruel and unkind to humilate the vulnerable, is what it comes down to.

I think that was unkind of them and could have made your ds feel ashamed of something that wasn't in his control. Yes everyone knows that vomit stinks so why pass comment? But I'm really funny about that kind of thing, I don't like to hear parents commenting on how smelly nappies are etc. I don't think it's serious enough for a complaint, but definitely a quiet word so they might handle it differently in future. The teacher sounds lovely.

dakota So the head teacher isn't great with sickness! The op's son would have realised I was the same but only with my constant retching. I can't stand people being sick near me and that includes my kids!

But being ill is disgusting. And if the teacher hadn't cleaned it the way the estates people would it would still stink. There are kids who have to sit in that stink all day, and then there's the risk of further vomiting because some people do vomit when surrounded by the stench of someone else's.

Our teachers have packets of stuff that looks like oats in their rooms. If anyone is sick they have to open the packets (however many needed to cover it), chuck it over the mess then ring to request the janitor who cleans it up. I presume the oat like stuff contains the smell and hides the visual aspect like the sawdust they used to use.

Nicknacky Me neither, but I don't think many people would make such a dismissive comment in front of another adult. I think the OP Is definitively not BU.

If OP is being dramatic being upset about the comments, then all the staff making them were being dramatic. No need for it. If we expect ill children to not be upset by comments, then we can expect adults to not make them, surely.

Nobody has said your son was disgusting. She said the smell was disgusting.
Your comments about professionals dealing with older people, giving birth and now disabled children are completely and utterly irrelevant.
A teacher said the room smelt disgusting. It did. Your child wasn’t mistreated in any way, I think being ‘upset’ over it means it’s time to get a grip. All these comparisons are ridiculous.

Oh and at the last three schools i’ve worked at, a tub of a sand-like sawdust consistence substance that covers the vomit, then it’s left to soak and hoovered then disinfectant sprayed.

The deputy head was thoughtless to make those comments within earshot of the children, but it is hardly worth a complaint.

I'd also like confirmation of what 'kept complaining about the smell' actually means.

If she was there ten minutes and said it twice, something along the lines of 'we need to get some windows open to get rid of the smell' or 'I'll send the caretaker down when he gets in to put something down to get rid of the smell' then that's quite different to calling your ds disgusting.

Your ds was poorly and semi-conscious so may not be the most reliable source of information.

What would you hope to achieve by complaining? To show your ds that you stick up for him when people upset him? To make the deputy feel ashamed of herself? Because she won't. She'll think you're mad.

The tiny distinctions don't matter.

Yes they do. No one said your DS was disgusting did they?

Your DS is about to go to secondary school he isn't 4/5.

I cant believe the responses on here, vomit does stink and if 'we all know that' then why the need to say it!! Insensitive at best. There is 'faint' young child in the middle feeling ashamed because he was sick.
You can think it, fine, don't say it!

Nicknacky if you’re unable to cope with bodily fluids standing there talking about it or even opening your mouth in general would make it worse. Accidentally retching and/or having to leave the room for a minute is totally understandable.

harl Errr ok. I think given there was a child "semi conscious", other children to be dealt with and sickness on the floor the teacher needed a bit of a hand, don't you?

I don't think it would be unreasonable to have a little word about how it might be more helpful to have conversations like that out of earshot of the sick child. It's not nice, at any age, to have people comment on how you are disgusting.

Sooty, I have often had to pass on parent concerns to the Head/deputy Head. It's really not a big deal and happens all the time in schools.

Some people clearly aren't reading properly. Not the teacher who helped him the 1st aider that came after. Her comments were horrible. Yes sick stinks but you don't say it in earshot. Especially when she wasn't even cleaning the sick and was seeing to the child.

Sounds to me the DepHead and other staff were not intentionally aiming their comments at your DS (more a chat between themselves during break-time), but they could have exercised discretion as your DS was in ear-shot. I'd just have a quiet word with the DepHead and say did they realise their conversation with colleagues was overheard and made a vulnerable pupil feel worse?

As to whose responsibility it was to clean up, that's really down the that schools individual policy, and I'd stay out of that bit other than what you are already doing by giving a thank you card.

Nicknacky the deputy arrived afterwards. I’m saying talking about sick isn’t going to ease your disgust in any way, if anything it would make it worse and isn’t an uncontrolled response like retching would be.

I think the Dep Head was insensitive. On a separate note though, I have ‘trained’ DD to leg it to the loo if she feels sick. I guess your son didn’t feel well for a while beforehand so probably worth talking to him about speaking up before it gets to the point where he faints or vomits.