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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really upset at how my son was treated after being sick?

267 replies

lilyrosesblue · 03/02/2018 08:50

DS vomited in class yesterday. They were watching something and he sits near the back and he didnt faint but sort of went semi conscious.

When the teacher realised she was very good and comforted DS cleared up the sick and sent a child to get a 1st aider.

The other children then went to break and the 1st aider (deputy head) kept saying how badly it smelled and the teacher should not have cleared it up as its not her job. Teacher kept saying she didnt mind and the only thing she was concerned about was ds. But the deputy kept commenting on the smell. Two other members of staff then came in and said how disgusting this was.

DS was mortified. (He is nearly 11.) Is it worth putting in a complaint?

OP posts:
PaddlingShoes · 03/02/2018 18:47

I wouldn't complain but they definitely shouldn't have said that in front of your DS. It was very unprofessional and thoughtless of them. Poor boy.

Gaelach · 03/02/2018 18:48

DS vomited in class yesterday. They were watching something and he sits near the back and he didnt faint but sort of went semi conscious

So he didn't faint but now he did faint... Biscuit

Original poster
lilyrosesblue · 03/02/2018 18:48

Well he is not in the habit of making things up.

OP posts:
Gaelach · 03/02/2018 18:49

Just you then.

Original poster
lilyrosesblue · 03/02/2018 18:49

He would not have been alert enough but carry on being spiteful about an ill child.

OP posts:
FritataPatate · 03/02/2018 18:50

Is it WORTH putting in a complaint? ?? Worth it? What on earth do you hope to achieve? Sounds like school handled it well. Your DS is 10 yo, no? He knows vom smells. Get a grip, OP!

dissapointedafternoon · 03/02/2018 18:54

That's not professional of them to say it.
Poor thing.

I would complain and ask them to improve on their actions noting comments about smell and disgusting are really embarrassing for children to cope with.
This is the kind of thing that really really puts me off a school. I would even consider moving if the deputy head is such an unsavoury character

CuckooCuckooClock · 03/02/2018 18:58

Unsavoury character?

BustopherJones · 03/02/2018 18:59

As someone who manages first aiders I would want to know this had happened, because it shouldn't and I would want to improve things. If someone can't handle the smell of vomit without making comments then they really shouldn't be a first aider.

When people aren't well they need to be treated kindly and professionally, and making comments about the smell could make anyone feel embarrassed for something that really isn't something to be embarrassed about. Not just an oversensitive child, but any normally robust adult. Every adult I've ever seen as a first aider has felt awful about causing trouble for us and apologised. They don't need those comments.

If someone brought this situation to me I would want to address it with the people involved. Obviously if the complaint was confrontational I wouldn't enjoy it, but I'd understand why someone was emotional about it.

In a school situation this sort of thing could lead to bullying so I'd not be happy at all.

tabbywabby · 03/02/2018 18:59

YANBU, OP. I would definitely have a word.

Yes, vomit smells awful, but being both an adult and a professional requires the ability not to say everything in your head.

Can't believe the posters saying 'they looked after him so well.

  1. Providing first aid is their duty, not a favour
  2. They didn't look after him because they were also nasty (and unprofessional)
tabbywabby · 03/02/2018 18:59

BustopherJones has it right

CuckooCuckooClock · 03/02/2018 19:04

How would it lead to bullying?

Originalfoogirl · 03/02/2018 19:08

Instead of putting in a complaint, I would be explaining to my 11 year old that puke is disgusting, it does smell, and it really bothers some people. These people might complain about it. Nobody thinks he is disgusting.

Job done.

Otherwise, he might just grow up to be as precious and offended by everything as you appear to be, and you surely wouldn’t want that, would you?

KayaG · 03/02/2018 19:09

1. Providing first aid is their duty, not a favour

Actually it is a favour. Teachers volunteer to be first aiders. It's unpaid and no teacher can be made to do it. What's that if not a favour?

Did you not read that the class teacher was told she shouldn't have cleaned it up because it wasn't her job?

tabbywabby · 03/02/2018 19:09

I'm a first aider for a large public venue. I don't work with the public, so I am more likely to be called to colleagues, but just imagine if I said 'argh, that stinks' repeatedly to, or near, a member of the public. No-one here would be ok with that if it happened to them. I can just imagine the AIBU now!

derxa · 03/02/2018 19:11

How would it lead to bullying? If DH or other staff make offhand remarks about the incident while other children are listening etc etc.

tabbywabby · 03/02/2018 19:13

KayaG Wrong. Individual teachers might have to volunteer, and it may not be her job to clean it up, but the school has a legal obligation to provide first aiders at all time, and not just because they are a place of work. It is a school's legal DUTY to provide first aid.

MuseumOfCurry · 03/02/2018 19:17

Pretty unkind. I'm not a first-aider, but I'd imagine I'd fill the silence with something more like 'poor kiddo, don't you worry we'll have this sorted in no time'.

Blackteadrinker77 · 03/02/2018 19:17

I would have a word with the head that it had upset your son and just to be mindful in front of the children should the same happen again.

I'd ask your son to do a thank you card or email to his teacher or a nice little bar of chocolate or something.

Please don't let your son know that you think this is a big deal, it may make him see it a big issue when it really isn't.

I hope he feels better.

MuseumOfCurry · 03/02/2018 19:18

That said, I wouldn't raise it with the school. Keep your powder dry, you'll have bigger fish to fry at some point.

Fustyoldcarcass · 03/02/2018 19:19

If this had happened in a hospital and a nurse was saying it, I bet most if the mum's on here would complain.

MuseumOfCurry · 03/02/2018 19:19

Please don't let your son know that you think this is a big deal, it may make him see it a big issue when it really isn't.

Sage advice.

ClaryFray · 03/02/2018 19:19

I'd mention a touch of empathy may be required to the head. But I have a fear of vomiting and that would make the horrible situation a lot worse for me.

KayaG · 03/02/2018 19:27

Individual teachers might have to volunteer, and it may not be her job to clean it up, but the school has a legal obligation to provide first aiders at all time, and not just because they are a place of work. It is a school's legal DUTY to provide first aid.

Right. It is a favour. If no one volunteers there isn't much a HT can do except do it herself. I've taught in schools where that is the case.

I've also taught in schools where there is only one volunteer and if he/she is away there is no one. But the school doesn't shut. Maybe it should.

The school may have an obligation but if there is no one to do it, then they can't fulfil that obligation. Plenty of schools where that's the case.

Lindy2 · 03/02/2018 19:27

Not necessarily the most tactful coments but really not worth anyone getting worked up about. You also don't know the exact context in which it was said. Were they opening windows at the time to improve the smell in the classroom?
When I opened your post I thought it was going to be sonething a bit more substantial such as a child not being looked after or properly cleaned up. Not an 11 year old hearing that his vomit smells. He surely noticed that it smells himself.
Don't complain. Thank his teacher for looking after him instead.

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