To ask the worst thing that's been said to you whilst DTD?

[6079SmithW]

I have been inspired by the highly entertaining responses to my original AIBU? thread!

AIBU to ask what's the worst thing that's ever been said to you whilst DTD?

Oh wow - bumping for later!! I'm going to sit in a car park and howl at this while my daughter attends a trampoline party!

My DH thinks I'll be doing a weekly shop...

Another friend (I have a very boring sex life) was dtd and the guy kept asking "you like that, yeah? You like that?" trying to be secy i suppose. Friend said he turned around and said "well I am quite partial to it I suppose"

On one of my old phones when a caller rang it would ring AND speak the caller’s name. Having my sister’s name literally ringing in my ears while I was DTD was an immediate passion killer. For me anyway.

Am I the only one who doesn’t know what DTD is?. It’s obviously to do with during sex. But I can’t think what those letters stand for.
Some good stories though.

Doing The Deed.

First time recently with new guy - 'you like my big fat cock inside you baby? you like that honey huh huh? , mmm good girrrrrrrrrrrrlllllll'. Despite finding it a turn off ended up DTD again few days later and as we were getting down to it he SPAT on my fanjo and said 'mmm make u wet' in a creepy voice then sat up, looked me in the eye and said 'do u squirt?'' in a normal matter-of-fact voice! I suddenly remembered somewhere else I had to be and have since blocked him in every way

Just remembered another...

HE said I love you, i really love you..oh my god i love you repeatedly once until he was coming then rolled off and said thanks! Much as its nice to be told this, it can be a bit over the top...

Ex once said "gosh your wet I cant get any friction" .

'Yeah baby, ride me like Seabiscuit'

And... same bloke... 'Oh my God that's so good I don't know whether to fart, shit, piss or come'. (Well make your mind up so I can get out of the way sharpish).

Different bloke: 'I bet you were bloody stunning when you were younger'. (Is that a compliment or an insult)

'Oh my God that's so good I don't know whether to fart, shit, piss or come'. (Well make your mind up so I can get out of the way sharpish).

LMAO that’s horrific.

Thanks toss. I do know what your name means 😜

haven't laughed so much in ages.... hysterical !!

My cock wants to shake your hand.

I was particularly enjoying being underneath an ex when he said ‘are you fucking me or am I fucking you?’. That was quite humiliating.

Those sausages need using up by Tuesday!!!
Unbelievably I carried on, I was young and besotted...

Compared to some posts here, mine is pretty tame, but it killed the romantic mood straightaway.

We’re having a very nice and steamy makeout session, lovely atmosphere, candles, music - radio I think. Suddenly a beautiful Chopin piece start playing. At which point my date gets up, switches it off and goes “Let’s turn it off - it’s one of my favourite pieces, and I don’t want to be disrespectful to Chopin” 😕

I'm going to present you with my head like a perfectly peeled plum for you to lick and suck with delectation

FUCKING HELL I'M HOWLING!!!

'"Oh my God that's so good I don't know whether to fart, shit, piss or come'. (Well make your mind up so I can get out of the way sharpish)."

Oh my goodness that made me proper laugh out loud 😂

I'm crying with laughing so much. Haven't laughed like this for so long, done me the world of good, thank you girls.

Whilst ttc, DH mistakenly informed me, "Ok, the pizza's in (the oven..). You have 17 minutes!" Not the most romantic way to begin dtd and certainly did not result in a pregnancy, funnily enough!

CurlJunkie
My cock wants to shake your hand.

I hope you told him to pull it out first.

OMGWTFLMFAO that is really horrible. No wonder he sat with his head in his hands. What a give away!

EfficiencyDeficiency My partner also says hoop. Thankfully not
During sex though.

Literally seconds after finishing he reaches over for his phone, and proceeds to ring his Mum to come and pick him up. Fully grown Man. So awkward.

Thanks OP, I really appreciate your lovely comments 😊

I've just remembered my one and only funny contribution... My DH (before sex not during) was in the bathroom brushing his teeth when I asked him would he like to come have sex with me.

So he wanders back in slowly, does a huge, long sigh and says "hang on then- let me get my chopper out". We both fell about laughing and still initiate sex with this romantic, enthusiastic line

DTD... The Mr on top getting into the rhythm thrusting away. I look over and see my Male sausage dog mount his leg and start humping away, I just crack up in hysterics.. poor boy felt left out. 😂 needless to say we have to crate him during sexy time now because the little man gets very excited 😜