To ask how you get on with your MIL?

[LoveInTokyo]

Is she a nightmare, an angel, or something in between?

She's an self obsessed, entitled, narcissistic, wicked, parasite who is pure evil through and through who thinks everyone owes her something. FIL is a lazy good for nothing benefits cheat who wouldn't know a days work if it slapped him in his arrogant face. The last 6 years of nc have been bliss and I hope I and my dc never have to see them again.

I used to get on with her because I tried to do things her way. When I tried to make choices of my own, it all went downhill.....

Mine's lovely as is my son-in-law and daughter-in-law's

Brilliant til I got pregnant the 1st time.
Adequate after that.
Much cooler when her DD gave birth the 1st time.
Now: totally superficial as she and FIL much prefer DD and their DC and have for almost 20 years now.
You reap what you sow...

Bit of both. Can be horrendous, there was once a time she didn't speak to my partner for 5 weeks because he was too ill to see her on Mother's Day, but she's a fantastic gran to our baby. Win some loose I guess.

Mines a narcissist

Mine was a bitch of the first water
Went NC for a while
Selfish, domineering
Thought that mentally ill people nutters who were better off dead and subhuman I kid you not! I work in MH
Not interested in GC other than to compare them in favourably to others
I could go on but can feel myself getting so angry despite her being dead for few years

I love mine... and fil. They are kind and loving, they treat me like their own and love my kids beyond belief.

NC with mine - she chose a peadophile over her kids and grandkids. She needs to croak

My late MIL was a lovely woman but we were very different. She occasionally said very hurtful things but I managed on the whole to smile & nod while gritting my teeth. Telling me the only thing she didn't like about me was my religion said more about her than it did about me.

We managed to get along because I constantly told myself we loved the same man, her son. And if it wasn't for her I wouldn't have him. To be fair, she didn't ever interfere between DH & I.

I do miss her, but more for DH's sake than my own.

Mine is closer to an angel than a nightmare but can be bossy and annoying at times. We get on fairly well and she is great with my son, who she takes care of during the week so I could do a lot worse!

But very surprised how many people love their MILs.

Mine is nice enough, not snide, doesn't offer unwanted advice, fabulous host but also obviously favours SIL's kids, never arranges to see us (we have to do that), thinks we live soooo far away (30 mins) and she plays the 'helpless little woman' card too often.
However, my husband is a wonderful man which, having met his father, shows it must've all been down to her

"But very surprised how many people love their MILs."

So am I . But I think I am more surprised at how many people hate them. Most people we meet we are pretty indifferent to or think are OK. Surely that's how we would feel about the vast majority of women over 60? Abusers and acutually evil people aside, obviously.

My MIL is absolutely amazing. I love her, she's kind, fun and loving.
She is the kind of person I would have loved to have had as a mother. MIL also fills our fridge with yummy cheese and buys me gin

Her son, my DH, is her only child and she is soooo stereotypically a mother of an only son.

I dread that comment as my DS is an only child and I would hate to become the 'stereotype' MIL. Hopefully after years on Mumsnet reading MIL threads I know the pitfalls to avoid, and I have a life of my own that will not revolve around my DS and any future DIL & DGC.

Mine has been a total cow to me for years and now I don't see her. My DH never really took her up on her behaviour towards me until recently. If he had I'm sure we would still be in contact now. It's only recently that I confronted her about her treatment of me. We told her she could still see the children if she wants to - at our house but she has chosen not to which I think speaks volumes.

Mine was lovely. She passed away. She was so nice. I never had a single problem with her. I liked her a lot. These horrible mil threads make me sad.

Small doses works for me She's not horrible or anything but we are total different personalitys I'm never at ease in her company

Mine is lovely. She’s kind and generous and loves her grandkids.
She respects the way I want to do things and thinks I’m a good mother and cook and seems to really like me. Flattery will get you everywhere

Mine isn't openly hostile but clearly isn't emotionally invested in us and our dc. I refer to us as 'beta family', whereas bil and his dc are obviously 'alpha family'

Mixed. She can be very tempramental/aggressive (never with or at me though- I think Im still too much of an unknown quantity) at times and so I just.bite my tongue/avoid her at those times. When shes on good form shes fantastic and great to be around.

Couldn't of chosen better if I could of picked her myself ❤️️

She's friendly and wouldn't hurt a fly but is incredibly irritating and I tend to start running out of patience if I spend more than a couple of days with her

I'm pretty neutral tbh - I'd like it if she paid some attention to her third son (DH) and 6th grandchild (ds), but have come to accept that she and FIL really just aren't interested in us as a family, and the gap between gc5 and ds (11 years) meant they were all done with grandparenting.
We only see them a few times a year as they go on very extended holidays anyway.