To ask how you get on with your MIL?

[LoveInTokyo]

Is she a nightmare, an angel, or something in between?

We don’t always see eye to eye but I admire greatly. She is a strong, kind person and she loves my kids. Wouldn’t change her for anyone else!

Not super keen. Started off okay but as time wore on I could see quite clearly why my DH wanted to distance himself from her. She's a self indulgent, rude, aggressive and thinks the world owes her a favour. She's racist, has fraudulently claimed benefits in the past (before I knew her) and thinks we all deserve the absolute finest details of anything she does.

She screwed my DHs childhood something rotten. Some particular favourites of his were - she refused to stop smoking in the house when the kids were small and one had asthma

• didn't replace doors and cupboards she broke in fits of rage so my DH had no door on his room from age 7- until he was 18 (and moved out, she replaced it the next week)
• would subject the children to her mental breakdowns and blamed it on their Dad because he worked away - she'd keep them up all night yelling

She has her favourite grandsons (there are 5 of them and two of them are ours) and will spoil them rotten and forget ours. She's not seen either of our kids for nearly 6 months apart from half an hour over xmas.

Not spoke to mine for 8 years...demanded a DNA test when I got pregnant with DD, then same again 3 years later when I got pregnant with DS! My DH only started speaking to her because she said she had a terminal illness, she didn't!

The woman is crazy I stay well away!

Mine is a nightmare! We have very different views on most things, especially how to be a parent. Apparently I do everything wrong which she likes to tell me when we see each other (which is as little as I can get away with)

Very well indeed - she's lovely.

Mine is lovely. Rarely interferes but always there for advice and support if asked.

We get on really well, sometimes she’s too nice and needs to think of herself more.

We dont.

OK in person but it took a long time and I vent rant a lot about her on here.

We are very different people and she did a shocking job with DH which he fully acknowledges. She has the idea that he shouldn't need to know how to cook or sew on a button so of course, he doesn't.

Sadly for her the chickens have come home to roost in that none of her kids really want to spend much time with her. She lives about an hour from my DM so we combine visits. My DM isn't without issues (to say the least) but she's loving and fun to visit. We always see MIL first so we can relax at DM's afterwards, even DH looks forward to getting to my DM's.

We had a very strange relationship.
I know 100% that she disliked me very much, tbf I was a pain in the arse. Opinionated, strong views, did not rush to dhs beck & call, this we disagreed on.

I just couldn't understand why she put up with utter utter shit, and tolerated her dogs life instigated by fil, over years and years and years, with silence and seemingly no resistance or argument. She was a door mat.

I just did not get it, she and her kids lived in poverty because of that man, she did nothing.

She died 5 years ago, for the previous 5 years leading to her death she took more control, she had a lovely life, did things she only ever dreamed of because me & dh facilitated it. We did everything we could to make sure life was better and good. I think that she fully appreciated it, I am SO happy & glad that things turned out the way it did.

Mine is lovely but has completely lost her filter and finds it difficult to relate to/understand different ways of doing things or thinking. Consequently she has really upset me on a couple of occasions and undermined my confidence a bit. It's done with no malice whatsoever and she would be horrified if she knew, so she doesn't know, and we get along just fine.

NC with mine.
DH was never close to her growing up. She wasn't unkind, more complacent and not a natural mother. She owned a business and was out of the house a good 14 hours a day at least and DH was with a childminder but she was also not fussed about making time for him/with him when she got home. She fully admitted herself she didn't find parenting natural or particularly enjoyable. She is much closer to DH sister (younger) as they have hobbies in common and she was always very clearly the favourite. When PIL went on holiday, gifts would be purchased for SIL but not DH. He was just kind of forgotten.
Consequently we have just drifted apart. No arguements or anything, she just isn't bothered. Has never met the kids and we haven't seen her for over 15 years.
We rubbed along ok before NC.

My MIL was lovey (she died last year aged 96)

She was my mil for 30 yrs. if she had opinions on our marriage, housekeeping or child rearing she kept them to herself. She was supportive, lovely and kind. She lived next door to us for the last 11 yrs and her relationship with her grandsons was soo lovely.

We had lots of fun together even when she became a bit more grouchy and housebound in later years.

I miss her lots

Adore mine. I'm very lucky indeed.

Mine is lovely and really easy to chat to

Lovely woman, but sadly no longer with us.

I get on amazingly with my MIL! She is absolutely lovely. I get on so well with her that she is going to be my birthing partner this time!

Step-MIL is a completely different matter that is a very long, confusing and ridiculous situation!

DH gets on really well with my mum, so we're very lucky really!

I don't.

Numerous incidents led to us not speaking (although DH speaks to her now), highlights include her 6 month campaign to adopt steal our cat, hate mail to my Dad, letters to our neighbours and a visit to our Vicar (to tell them what horrible people we are).

She's a delight.

Not technically my mother in law as I’ve only met her a few times now but she’s lovely. Given me loads of advice about stuff (when I’ve asked her) partner’s Dad is lovely too. I hope we continue to get on so well!

My previous inlaws though.... disablist, bigoted, homophobic and I suspect ever so slightly racist. Yeah, I don’t miss them. Daughter keeps me posted on all the awful things granny comes out with. She rolls her eyes and sighs. Thank god. I’ve raised a good ‘un. 2 of them in fact.

I shouldn't really complain as she is fine. Makes lovely gestures etc just is completely lacking in charm, humour and wit and will generally only talk about 1 of 5 things over and over again. she is very much a glass half empty person which is tiresome.

My previous two were awful, rough and just awful to me despite my trying to be nice to them! Current mil is amazing! Lovely to be around and just generally nice!

NC with mine.

Mine is a disgusting excuse for a human being. DH is NC with her too as are some of his siblings.

Fine.We are completely different in terms of background, education, social class, politics and life experience, so we are never going to be friends. But she is a good mum to dp and a wonderful grandma. And it is with her son and her grandchildren that she needs to have the relationship. She and I are friendly. Cordial. No need for any more than that.