To ask how you get on with your MIL?

[LoveInTokyo]

Is she a nightmare, an angel, or something in between?

Mine's a bit of a mixed bag. On the one hand the DCs absolutely adore the bones of her and she's had a hugely important role in their lives. On the other hand she's an opinion on everything, judges everyone and needs minute details about what we've eaten, who we've seen and anything in between. She's also the nosiest person I've ever known and if there are calendars or cards anywhere she'll be merrily flicking through them, not to mention phones if she gets chance.

However. She lost her DH when her DCs were young and singlehandedly navigated them through all the shit that came with it. She's had a tough hand in life and even now will put her own health and happiness behind everyone else's (which I clash with her over at times because I'm far more selfish). She welcomed DS1 who was 18 months when DH and I met into her family and has cherished him every day since. He's 12 now and towers over her, but he adores her like any other grandparent. She's never once treated the DCs differently for having different fathers and I love her for that.

She and I are different in so many ways but we have respect, kindness and honesty in our relationship and I would be incredibly sorry to lose her.

“Mine's a bit of a mixed bag“

So a human being? Like the rest of us?

I really like mine, we're not super close as I haven't been together with DP long but she adores DS, she's extremely kind and generous but she's also quite quiet.
I try to take DS to visit every 1-2wks while on maternity leave.

I love my MIL. We get on really Well!
But I feel closer to DHs family than to my own.

I've just come across this quote from the writer Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856, a German Oscar Wilde if you will) showing MILs some people don't seem to have changed:

“Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid”

My mil makes crazy twirly wurly motions with her finger when my husband says something she doesn't agree with - combined ELECTRIC SHOCK sounds.

As I said before, hope she dies. And before us too because she would outlive us just to spite us.

Obviously that's cause he has MH issues

Mine is lovely. We're totally different but get on really well. She lives just 10 mins down the road and she's the sort of person who would do anything for the family..

I was 22 when I first met my future in-laws. I grew up with a very non-tactile, non-emotional mother who was obsessed with grievances about her ex, our DF. We got most of our parenting from our DGP's, who were lovely but also not terribly "huggy".

I had a real culture shock when I met my ILs as they were such a close and affectionate family.

My MIL was the mother hen type who is always feeding you, checking you are warm enough, giving you presents. My FIL was humorous and laid back and the nicest man in the world (apart from my DH!) He was much more of a dad to me than my own dad. They were so lovely to me, and even though MIL sometimes went a bit over the top with the smother-mothering, on the whole I've always got on well with her.

When our DDs arrived, MIL has always been a doting grandma to them, unlike my own DM who will send them birthday presents but isn't that much interested in them. Sadly FIL died some years ago and MIL is now pushing 90 and has dementia so is a shadow of her former self, but I'm still grateful for the way she treated me like her own.