Neighbour issues AIBU

[spagbol11]

Need some advice please,
I have a neighbour, she’s elderly but very capable of living alone doing her own shopping etc. Shops are a short walk away, taxis freely available-I have lived near her for 6 months.
Don’t want to out myself but let’s say I’m a beauty therapist, and she calls once a weeks asking me to do her nails, fair enough only takes 30 minutes but I rarely have that 30 minutes free. She also has asked me to take her shopping when I go, I take my 2 children too on one of my days off and I also take her but it’s getting extremely stressful, she is not happy just going to Asda let’s say she wants to go to home bargains, Morrison’s and ALDI, with 2 kids in tow they get extremely bored and I get extremely stressed out and waste a day off running around after her.
Now I work 5 days a week only have 2 off and have housework 2dc (2&8) and a dog. I struggle to keep on top of everything and keep everyone happy but lately am feeling extremely overwhelmed.
For example one day last week she had an appointment in town asked me to collect her at lets say 12-30 I explained I don’t finish work until 4pm, she then made a point of walking instead of taxi and saying she’s exhausted.
4 or 5 times she’s called me to collect her from Train station to collect her at 6.30 or sometimes even 7.30 as she’s been out shopping to a city for the day but can’t walk home.
She has also started to make me feel guilty for planning other things on my day off. Say this weekend I planned to visit my dad and spend the day with him and she was quite taken aback that I wouldn’t be spending that day running her around, I also planned to take my children swimming yesterday which she was also unhappy I wasn’t taking her shopping. My eldest is sick of trailing round supermarkets when we’re supposed to spending quality time together-I am really feeling at the end of my tether with this.
I have been on anti depressants (mirtazapine) and came off them before Xmas and am debating going back on them, have an app with doctor tomorrow as I honestly feel I cannot keep this up.
I don’t want to upset her but I can’t keep going on like this.

Can I also say she has 2 children age 40 ish who visit but never take her in to town or shopping.

AIBU and what can I do?

Hi OP - was wondering how this week was going. Has she taken the hint and given you space or is she coming around all the time to "borrow" potatoes?

@spagbol11 Thinking of you 💐🌺💐

Hi mumsnetters my life has been great since getting support from you guys. No pestering-and most of all I’ve been spending loads of quality time with my dcs and dp xxx

Sounds Fab. Well done Spag 💐🌺💐

Wonderful to hear!! Thank you for the update xx

Goldmandra, surely not just because of their inability to say No. The person or people who took advantage of that are responsible for the abuse.

The person or people who took advantage of that are responsible for the abuse.

I did not and would never imply that my children were responsible for the abuse they suffered.

That's awesome! I'm so proud of you! You have obviously learned how to establish boundaries with her!!! Well done!

Yes, I couldn’t/wouldn’t of done this without you. My kids are so much happier too. I didn’t realise the extent it had got to, do thanks to all the helpful posters

Goldmandra, We have some experiences in common, and I was a bit taken aback at the way you expressed that. I'm sorry I read it the wrong way.

Oh she's got you where she wants you. It's nice that you're looking out for an elderly neighbour but she's taking advantage of your good nature, big-time. Let her walk. Say no. She'll soon ratchet it down. Stop being a doormat. Not all old people are sad and lonely because everyone's died. Some are sad and lonely because they've burned everyone else already.

Am very glad my post was ok. And even helpful.

More importantly, am SUPER pleased to hear how well things are going for you @spagbol11
Remember all these things are are a process & progress isn't linear, so if your mood/mental state does wobble a bit, that's ok. (I mean, it's not what anyone wants, but it's ok - you've not "failed"; it doesn't herald disaster; you don't need to Just Give Up.)

Keep being kind to yourself. And good luck.

Thank you Footle. I wouldn't usually talk about it in those terms. I just wanted to get across that saying no isn't necessarily easy and judging people who can't always say it is inappropriate.