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Original poster

To ask what you've done in the past as a parent and now cringe about

323 replies

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 28/01/2018 22:58

We've just celebrated our son's first birthday, he's our 2nd baby. We had a lovely chocolate cake made for him and of course plated him up a little slice. DH reminded me of our PFB DD's first birthday. We did the same - had a chocolate cake made for her 'party' (parents and siblings came round) which we dished out to everyone, except DD. Then we produced a sugar free disgusting muffin for the birthday girl herself as we didn't want her having any chocolate until she was much older Blush what a pair of wankers. She's 4 now and today she had 3 Freddo's.

We also took her to the doctors when she was eight months old - because she shivered. It was January in northern England, and we'd just returned from living abroad, in the desert. Idiots

OP posts:
BalloonSlayer · 31/01/2018 18:46

Add message | Report | Message poster RoboticSealpup Tue 30-Jan-18 18:04:40
After hours of online research about SIDS, I ordered a special plastic mattress cover from New Zealand developed by a crazy scientist with a theory about toxic gases emanating from foam mattresses that have a specific type of mould in them, as well as fire retardants it in. DH promptly made a hole when putting it on. After a near mental breakdown, I forked our £25 for another.

I'll probably use it next time too, although it rustles like a right bastard.

Yeah but isn't one of the big things they advise to avoid SIDS, not re-using mattresses?

JumpingFrogs · 31/01/2018 19:24

Was guilty of some of these. But many years ago , before I had kids, I was at a New Year party (to see the nineties in...that dates me). The couple who were hosting had a baby who was asleep upstairs. They took turns at sitting with the baby monitor clamped to their ear ALL evening, even at the precise moment Big Ben was chiming. There was not a single SECOND when one of them wasn't listening to that monitor!

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 31/01/2018 19:30

Oh lord...

Changing PFBs nappies after every wee.

No telly for first 2 years - then DS2 came along and he's pretty much watched it every day of his life!

Judging other people for their sleep training CC methods - SO ridiculous.

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 31/01/2018 19:33

Oh yeah ha! & also buying a massive black buggy sunshade thing for my very pale PFB. Like they use in Australia. We live in London Grin

Steeley113 · 31/01/2018 19:34

I gaffa taped the black out blind to the window to stop any ‘chinks’ of light showing.

I was also obsessive about routine and not letting him be awake for too long. I found a chart with ‘awake’ times on for certain ages and followed it to the letter.

2nd baby I was less obsessive and I’m due my 3rd and have no idea how I’m gonna be able to even have a routine with all the school runs/toddler groups/errands I have to do Grin

mapmybum · 31/01/2018 21:12

I read on one of these threads (and completely agree)...

If your first child swallows a £1 coin you take him to A&E
If your second child swallows a coin you wait for it to pass through
If your third child swallows a coin you deduct it from their pocket money

soooo true

Pinacollider · 31/01/2018 22:57

Not something I've done but I remember a mum from a baby group saying she rubbed baby shampoo into her eyes to test if it really was 'no tears' as she didn't want her DCs eyes to hurt Grin

ew1990 · 31/01/2018 23:02

@Pinacollider it actually means no tears as in tear a piece of paper, so no knots in hair

Desmondo2016 · 31/01/2018 23:10

Exdh came to pick me up from work and left 1 year old at home in cot (10 minute round trip from home to work and back). I didn't leave him and was too controlled by him to even challenge it or tell him it was wrong . It mskes me cringe evry day for the last 20 years.

Original poster
CherryChasingDotMuncher · 01/02/2018 00:24

The thing that makes me cringe the most though is reading back over old Facebook posts from the early days of parenting

A few months ago mine popped up '4 years ago in this day' and showed a picture I'd taken of a library card with 'Can't wait to go and take out DD's first books with her new library card!'. She would have been six weeks old at the time.

Thing is DD was a TERRIBLE sleeper. You'd think I'd spend the time napping when she napped rather than pissing about in a library trying to read to a baby who probably didn't realise she had hands, let alone could understand words. What was I thinking?!

OP posts:
emma1320 · 01/02/2018 00:53

I was very pfb and cringe massively looking back. Glad to know I wasn't alone.

We did the whole special cake for DD on her 1st birthday but I didn't stop at the cake. I made homemade chicken nuggets and other homemade food just for DD and everyone else at her party were only to have the processed crap.

I would never let her have Mc Donalds until she was 2, close to 3. Would meet my friend with her DD in town and we would eat burger king, my DD would have a special home cooked meal I'd brought with me. What a fucking tosser I was!

We visited A&E so many times for the slightest cry that social services contacted us 😶

StoneColdDiva · 01/02/2018 01:15

Ew190

No tears shampoo means it does not make you cry

www.refinery29.com/2017/08/167926/loreal-kids-shampoo-no-tears-meaning

tillytrotter1 · 01/02/2018 01:36

*Made an emergency drs appointment for my baby DD when she came out in a horrible rash all over her legs.

Promptly cancelled it when i realised it was marks from the floral pattern on her tights*

When my first baby was born, 40+ years ago, the SSAFA Health visitor told me of one young mother whose baby had a series of tiny bruises down her front which defied everyone until she watch the mother dress the baby, She was pressing the poppers on the babygro rather than lifting them clear of the skin.
Do remember that many of you will become grandmothers and that's when you realise that you never knew anything!!! It can be quite amusing, I read many threads here as a source of amusement.

ew1990 · 01/02/2018 02:00

@StoneColdDiva ahh I guess I shouldn't believe everything I read on the internet

RickOShay · 01/02/2018 07:22

Desmond, try to let that go, you did the best you could at that time, go back and forgive yourselfFlowers

sycamore54321 · 01/02/2018 12:19

You know, I think most f these are incredibly sweet. And completely harmless if they don't impact other people and almost entirely forgivable if they do. I think it's adorable that most of the recipients of the instructions either follow them happily or smile indulgently. Everyone - the new parents, the grannies/aunties/babysitters just wants to do thier best for a tiny new baby - or at least to support the new parents.

I haven't done the more extreme ones but I know if my time was over again, I'd do exactly the same for most of my PFB (and largely did, for my second!). It's of course partly "haha, anxious new parent" but then it's easy to laugh when you have a robust toddler/teenager stomping about. Faced with a tiny helpless newborn, for me the same instinct kicks in all over again.

I love the slamming fingers in the door, bleaching the bath and all the ones where the parent is so committed to ensuring perfect happiness for their baby that they are majorly putting themselves out. That's love!

RoboticSealpup · 01/02/2018 12:24

Yeah but isn't one of the big things they advise to avoid SIDS, not re-using mattresses?

Yes. But the mattress cover is literally a plastic bag that you put on the mattress. I don't have the mattress anymore but I've kept the 'bag'.

PoorYorick · 01/02/2018 22:50

I love the slamming fingers in the door, bleaching the bath and all the ones where the parent is so committed to ensuring perfect happiness for their baby that they are majorly putting themselves out. That's love!

(I missed the slamming fingers in the door....ouch!) The bath was me, and you've just made me blush like a silly sentimental thing.

fourpawswhite · 03/02/2018 09:08

@RagamuffinAndFidget my very lovely SIL made that exact cake last week for her PFB. Luckily I don't like any cake so I was excused but it was like the episode of friends with Rachel's lasagne as everyone decided to take it outside, in January, to eat it. Winkbest bit was when dn who is a lovely eater threw it at mil. Hehe.

JustDanceAddict · 03/02/2018 09:13

I remember being annoyed with PILs as they were minding baby DD (prob about 9 months) when I went to the dentist - I met them in a cafe afterwards and they’d fed her a bit of cake!!

Bananmanfan · 03/02/2018 09:23

Ha ha! My pfb is now 20 and regularly tries to argue that it's "no more tears" as in tearing a bit of paper, he's not even swayed by "look, pfb, the words are enclosed in an actual teardrop" Grin

ethelfleda · 03/02/2018 09:37

This thread is so funny and making me want to relax a little as our pfb is only 3 months old!

I only stopped using cooled boiled water to too and tail him each morning a couple of weeks ago as it occurred to me that we bath him in regular water!

Just managed to get him to sleep in the crib for his morning nap for 2 hours - I thought this would be great for me to get stuff done but I spent nearly the whole two hours staring at the video monitor thingy Grin

DH still insists one of us sits in the back of the car with him if we go anywhere Hmm

mishfish · 03/02/2018 09:45

With DC1 I was seriously judgey about babies/toddlers with dummies...

To ask what you've done in the past as a parent and now cringe about
mishfish · 03/02/2018 09:48

Oh sorry missed the point of the thread in my response

jedenfalls · 03/02/2018 10:54

Spending all morning exhausting myself batch cooking ahead of weaning, Making puréed organic sweet potato mash, home made organic chickennuggets using breadcrumbs from home made organic bread.

Dd was prem, I had severe PND I was knackered. I could barely stand up.

My lovely sister, who is an academic, expert in child development said

‚‘fucks sake Jeden, you aren’t fucking Nigella‘

I took that as permission to calm the fuck down