To ask what you've done in the past as a parent and now cringe about

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

We've just celebrated our son's first birthday, he's our 2nd baby. We had a lovely chocolate cake made for him and of course plated him up a little slice. DH reminded me of our PFB DD's first birthday. We did the same - had a chocolate cake made for her 'party' (parents and siblings came round) which we dished out to everyone, except DD. Then we produced a sugar free disgusting muffin for the birthday girl herself as we didn't want her having any chocolate until she was much older what a pair of wankers. She's 4 now and today she had 3 Freddo's.

We also took her to the doctors when she was eight months old - because she shivered. It was January in northern England, and we'd just returned from living abroad, in the desert. Idiots

Walked about a mile pulling the pram backwards instead of pushing it because I didn't want PFB to get the sun in his eyes.

I bought a buggy with reversible handlebar! Designers have solved that problem

I have OCD so did a lot of cleaning whilst pregnant.

Ds was born and for the first few weeks I would whisper around him when he was sleeping. One day I really needed to hoover so thought "sod it" and did so, even hoovered his room when he was asleep in there

His socks were ironed, as was everything else.

A few months on he was lucky if they were matching, let alone ironed.

Mine are all grown up, got to say, when recently looking after my niece's 5 month old, I was grateful for her 2 page list and timetable. I don't know if you're more careful with other people's children, or that I've literally forgotten.

@MrsDilber the first time my mum looked after my ds at 5mo she asked me to write down his timetable

I used to stop conversations with adults to listen to her tell me about her imaginary goose or some bollocks. I never wanted her to feel she was less important than a grown up

Now I frequently shout 'Can't you see I'm talking?!' Or 'are you on fire? No? Then shh'

She isn't less important than a grown up but Jesus Christ do they talk so damn much.

I’ve never been an organic wanker, TV banning wanker or a no sugar until 21st birthday wanker, we never had PFB syndrome thankfully, but we still didn’t have a clue.
Until he was 3 months old we thought we had to leave the heating on all night and all day because blankets were BAD so we did... we were a slave to the gro egg and then we got the £800 electricity bill and realised blankets weren’t that unsafe after all!
Also when we brought him home from hospital we thought we weren’t able to be asleep when he was asleep cause someone had to be watching him at all times. So when he was asleep we would have shifts where one of us would be wide awake watching him. Until my mum visited and said wtf are you doing, get some sleep!
(We weren’t even young parents )

I've remembered one...when he first started nursery and I saw the staff cutting his toast into quarters. I asked if they could cut it into fingers as he was more used to eating it that way. The very lovely lady would have done, except she couldn't get the pieces away from him as he shoved them very keenly into his mouth.

In my defence, I realised what an idiot I was being almost at once, and when I said, "I'm sorry, he's my first and I'm recovering from PND" she was very nice about it.

Oh, another....for some reason I never heard about Ewan the dream sheep until he was sleeping through. Then suddenly everyone seemed to have had Ewan since birth. It didn't matter how many times people told me that he didn't need Ewan if he was good at bedtime and night time, and actually they would quite like theirs to stop using Ewan now. I was convinced I had deprived him of a wonderful and vital experience because he'd never had bloody Ewan. I even cried about it.

I don't know why my husband puts up with me.

Oh, and the one about the dad who squirted baby shampoo in his eyes...well I never squirted it right into mine, but I did wash my hair in it and allow it to run in, to make sure it wouldn't sting. I did it recently when we changed brands. Oh dear. It still seems reasonable to me and if we changed brands again I would do it again. Am I not cured yet?

Not me but my Nanny family bosses asking me if they should take the steriliser on their skiing holiday. Pfb was 1 at the time.
Their the loveliest ppl but defo in PFB mode hehe

Also their Over use of sanitising wAter

Oh also about 6 months ago I was cutting dd2 nail and clipped the skin and it bled a hell of a lot but she didn't even flinch and I called 101 😂. After about an hour and after I had cleaned all the blood and could see the tiny cut, I felt like such an idiot.

Might have pureed blueberries for 7-month-old PFB using a hand blender and then pushed them through a sieve to remove the skins to prevent choking before potting up the resulting jelly that basically did not contain any blueberry whatsoever into individual plastic tubs for 'easy' weaning on the go. No wonder he never chews his food properly now...

My ds has only ever had proper nappy rash once, just before his first teeth came through at 5 months. It started bleeding when I wiped him and I cried for ages ds wasn't even bothered.

I love these so much. You all sound lovely albeit slightly insane

I ate a bit of scented candle wax yesterday because PFB licked it and I was worried it might make him sick so I thought I'd better test the theory.

Whilst pregnant my DP made me a lovely dish with (a little bit of) melted blue cheese on top. After realising this, after eating a couple of mouthfuls, I went a little crazy saying screaming I couldn’t eat blue cheese!
Another time I shone a torch at my pregnant belly because I read that the babies can see some light. I spent the rest of the day panicking that I had blinded my unborn baby! I didn’t bother telling my DP as I think he was sick of me by then.

When I was in hospital (pre-eclampsia and diabetes) waiting to be induced I pressed the alarm in hysterical tears and brought the midwife running because I thought the baby was having convulsions inside me.

It was hiccups

When we moved pfb out of our room I insisted on having the monitor on at full volume despite her being in the next room with both doors open.

My 1st child was allowed her cake on her 1st birthday cake but when all of her friends had little boxes of smarties she had raisins. Second child is made of cake and sweets!

Once I was worried that my pfb was too hot. He was asleep in his cot in a long sleeved baby gro......so while he was asleep I leaned over the cot with a pair of scissors and CUT OFF THE SLEEVES 😱😱

Oh yes! Ringing the nursery my DD was at to request that she didn’t have jam on her toast at mid morning break as we didn’t want her having sugar! ☺️🤣

DH and I bought a pack fruity ice cream lollies whilst shopping when it was hot in the summer, thinking we'd enjoy eating them in the garden with our feet in 8mo DS's paddling pool. I was so torn between the no sugar thing and the central tenet of baby led weaning being that the baby eats the same thing as the parents at the same time that I expressed some breastmilk and froze him miniature breastmilk and fresh strawberries from our own garden lollies.

PoorYorick Tue 30-Jan-18 08:49:47
Oh, and the one about the dad who squirted baby shampoo in his eyes...well I never squirted it right into mine, but I did wash my hair in it and allow it to run in, to make sure it wouldn't sting.

It literally did not occur to me that this was an odd thing to do

I sat in the back of the car with pfb until he was over a year old

This is the opposite to some of these.

DS fed a piece of his birthday cake on his 3rd birthday to his baby sister. She was 3 months and one week old and it was her first solid food. I caught sight of her frantically gumming something and asked DS what is baby eating ? " Cake " came the reply. He had put it in her mouth for her. All kinds of wrong - gluten, sugar, but it was homemade ! He used to stick his ( probably dirty ) thumb in her mouth to comfort her and it always worked. I'm sure they need some germs sometimes ?