To ask what you've done in the past as a parent and now cringe about

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

We've just celebrated our son's first birthday, he's our 2nd baby. We had a lovely chocolate cake made for him and of course plated him up a little slice. DH reminded me of our PFB DD's first birthday. We did the same - had a chocolate cake made for her 'party' (parents and siblings came round) which we dished out to everyone, except DD. Then we produced a sugar free disgusting muffin for the birthday girl herself as we didn't want her having any chocolate until she was much older what a pair of wankers. She's 4 now and today she had 3 Freddo's.

We also took her to the doctors when she was eight months old - because she shivered. It was January in northern England, and we'd just returned from living abroad, in the desert. Idiots

I just don't get why you would cringe at doing something lovely for your DD!

It's the thought of us putting the chocolate cake away and getting a boring muffin out for her, looking back I feel mean for not letting her have a little slice of chocolate on her birthday!

I'm howling at leaving instructions for the doctors crossing the road

@Greensleeves I'm sure your H is lovely but you deserve everything you get if you call a heavily pregnant woman a 'good fat hen'

Sugar free cake for first and second birthday here. Colin the Caterpillar for the third birthday :) My second child had chocolate before even the first birthday. Saying that my eldest does not have a sweet tooth and my second child would live on sugar.

Dinosaurs that made me lol 😆

We never gave ours any sugar. Even their Easter eggs were put away and eaten by me until they were old enough to realise.

I'd do the same again, tbh. They're now teenagers without a sweet tooth, and unlike me, not a filling between them.

@RagamuffinAndFidget I thought I was the only one! I also insisted classic fm or nursery rhymes was played in the car till they were 2/3yrs because I felt guilty not educating them in the car on the way to an education/development trip!!

My husband and I eating pot noodles because we were low on money and didn’t want to stop buying organic, corn fed, free range chicken, organic lamb and perfect looking organic veg and quinoa for his home made, steam cooked meals and we also bought organic goats milk and wheat grass juice for his drinks. We were young and pretty broke at the time. Even if we went McDonals back then we’d only buy him pure orange juice, carrot sticks and a fruit back for ‘optimum nutrition’.

Massive pair of wankers.

‘Fruit bag’

Ha ha. I hear you OP. I made a sugar free cake 'decorated' with soft cheese and blueberries for DD1's second Birthday.

DD2 is probably getting various kinds of sugar processed into the shape of a castle/mermaid/whatever it looks like when I've finished messing it up.

I remember going over to my dbro’s house for Sunday lunch when dc1 was about 6mo. We were planning on staying maybe 3-4 hours and we arrived with a baby bath, baby bath seat, travel cot, extra travel cot mattress as the one it came with seemed too hard, playmat so dc didn’t have to lie on the hard wooden floor, baby monitor (he lived in a tiny 1 bedroom flat) and perfect prep machine . What a twat.

3 A4 pages of bedtime routine instructions complete with, erm, diagrams for my Dsis to babysit my PFB. She thought I was mad.

I wouldn't let my 10 month old open any Christmas presents till Christmas Day. His grandparents were going to be away and asked if he could and I said no. I even started a thread and got roasted to a cinder for it. I look back and think what did it matter really?

The other one are a bit sad. I remember trying to practice "discipline" on my very "naughty" child because school, MN and my family advised me to. Turns out he has autism and other diagnoses and really couldn't help his behaviour. Makes me sad to think he was basically being punished fir behaviour he couldn't help.

DH removed the bangs from the crackers at Christmas on DS's first Christmas because he was startled by noises and scared easily (according to DH). He missed one and FIL's cracker 'banged'. DS took no notice.

We drove from Hampshire to Mull (obviously there was a little ferry ride too) listening to Tweenies cassettes over and over and over again.

Second child adored Arctic Monkeys, and still does.

I remember giving my mum a detailed demonstration of how to place my son in his cot for his nap.

I think I showed her several times. It was very precise.

I remember her face clearly - it was

I also wrote instructins for PIL when they babysat DS so DH and I could go out for dinner. They ran to two sides of A4 and included how to bath him safely, how to warm his bottle, how to put him in his cot, what to do if he woke up, changing his nappy, getting him bcak to sleep and what to do if he choked. FIL is retired Primary school Head and MIL is retired Assistant Head. FIL organises a church playgroup and support group for mothers. They never flickered when I asked if they wanted me to go through it all with them. I am cringing remembering it.

OMG I can't think of anything, which probably means I'm still doing those things

I think its normal to write instructions for pretty much everything for a PFB tbf.

Although I am cringing writing that we left written instructions for PIL on how to cook frozen home made fish fingers starting with 1. Rub hand sanitiser into hands before handling fish.

This thread is amazing

Writing detailed instructions to DH when ds1 was 5mths old, and I was going on a hen weekend.

It was cringeworthy - really detailed, every aspect of his day covered.

Also - ringing my mum who was babysitting, from the train into London to remind her to slice up the grapes lengthways, so they weren't a choking hazard. She replied with a long sigh 'yyeeessss now go and have a nice time'

These are amazing. Love it.

I have so many that I’m so ashamed of I can’t even admit to them on an anonymous Internet forum

My DM still warms baby wipes for DS's precious little botty, why I'm not sure as nappy changes are usually done upright on the move, holding onto an ankle or in wrestling submission holds while being mooned by the bare arse of a retreating toddler.

I used to double sterilise dummies, they'd get Milton dunked and then microwave sterilised. I caught him sharing the dogs biscuits the other day. Time have changed

I also made everyone Milton their hands before holding/touching him as a newborn. It was winter, flu season and people are disgusting so I have no shame about that one. Now, you're not likely to catch the lurgy from him.

I once rugby tackled my stepfather from ten feet across the room. Took him DOWN like a sack of shit and sat on his ribs. He was feeding raw meringue to my 6mo ds1.

Reminds me of an old favorite:

DC1 - If the baby drops it's dummy, then you carefully remove one of the three back up dummies you carry in cute little sterilised containers, and drop the soiled one into the little bag you carry for just this kind of crisis.

DC2 - If the baby drops it's dummy, you pick it up, give it a quick suck yourself and give it back.

DC3 - You yell at someone to 'get the dummy out of the bloody dog's mouth and give it back to the baby.'