Holidays; Telling 14 yr old has to go.

[ohh]

AIBU telling our 14 year old daughter that she has to go on holiday with us.

Briefly we have been to same caravan park on and off for 6 years. All 3 children loved it, then went to France 2 years ago. 14 yr old style conscious has said not going there. Already booked. 17 year old and 10 year old happy to they are both boys. Didn't go anywhere last year.

DH said to me shes being a spoiled bitch and has to go. DD has said will stay with friends. I said no way.

AIBU

Jesus wept! On MN, children are children until they're 25+ when it comes to everything but what their own personal will. You're supposed to give them money left, right and centre, support, free place to live but negotiate holidays, take along a friend, let them run off with whomever they please etc etc.

Christ I can't think of anything worse than going to a caravan park.
Maybe if she were under 10 it would be sort of fun but not at 14.
Let her stay with a friend. Can't you go somewhere you'll all like?

If there was a willing grandma or aunt or something I’d let her stay with them.

Otherwise she’s coming with.

You can’t have her stay at a friends for a whole week.

Clearly the dh needed to say she's being "entitled" which it seems to be OK to say on mumsnet, even though it actually means she's being a spoiled bitch

Why can't she stay with a friend for a whole week?

'Why can't she stay with a friend for a whole week?'

Because it's inviting herself. I wouldn't be too impressed with any of my children's friends invited themselves to my house for a week because they were throwing their teddy out the pram at going to a caravan park on holiday for a week with their family. Bit young to be with a friend for a week, IMO. Then you have the thread running right now with the 15-year-old friend who is visiting and has been hooning all over town on her own getting up to god knows what.

Entitled brat, starfish, to be precise. ;-)

My teen DD can deffo be all the above.

fwiw, I don't try to organise any family hol nowadays without agreement in advance about where & what from DC, and stern talking that once we've paid deposit then we go no matter what. Life is hard enough without dragging reluctant teens anywhere.

oh ffs are we not even allowed to use mild swear words about our kids behind their backs in private now?

mine are complete shitbags at times

I wonder if the responses on this thread would have been a bit different if OP had posted all the missing info here.

Her DH three bottles of wine a night habit? The fact their holiday was so shit last year she posted about it? The fact her DH treats her like shit in front of his DC and DSC inc the 14 year old DD.

I reckon this kid has suffered enough of this crap and I don't blame her at all for not wanting to endure another holiday forced into close proximity with her drunken and abusive DSF.

Bloody hell- 3 bottles a night? Bet he’s fun to be around...

Her alcoholic, abusive stepfather doesn’t get to call her names behind her back, no.

Or he shouldn’t in any case.

If that’s the case then I can see why she wouldn’t want to go. If your holidays just a piss up then I can see it as being pretty rubbish for a 14 year old, being confined in a small space with a drunk father who dishes out abuse to your mother. OP why are you not protecting your dd from this dick head?

oh ffs are we not even allowed to use mild swear words about our kids behind their backs in private now?

In real life yes...on Mumsnet - no. I personally think it's just pretend outrage on here, they probably think it makes them sounds like an 'amazing' parent.

Completely off topic, when did bitch become a swear word? I seem to have missed the memo.

I’d class bitch as swearing.

Unless you’re taking about a dog, obviously!

Of course bitch is swearing

Call your female boss one and see if you get a disciplinary.......

Genuinely shocked by this, when did it happen? I bitch about stuff all the time and it was never a swear word to my knowledge.

You would if you called her a cow too.

Hello Everybody. DH did not say to DD directly that she was being bitchy. He said it to me. DD has a habit of saying her friends have Jack Wills etc clothes. I said save your pocket money and you can buy, but she says unfair etc...

DD was actually texting me as not with us, with her biological dad. Has just come back and has had a typical few days of hell. Called her a bimbo, anorexic, surprised her SB recognised her etc. etc

My DH, DD step dad is over protectie towards children and they all adore him. DD confides in him more than me and has been around since before she was born. DD just wants to go on a foreign holiday which we cannot afford.

A good test for swear words - do you ever hear it on coronation street? If it isn't on pre-watershed TV then it is probably classed as a swear word.

14 is a difficult time. If she really doesn't want to go then I'd let her stay with a grandparent or aunt/uncle. Someone else's teenager is just too much responsibility for her friend's parents.

I use "bitch" all the time......as a verb......as in "she was bitching about x,y,z"
I don't use it as a noun......as in "she is a bitch" unless I'm describing a dog

she's 14 ffs of course she has to go?! Why even let her get away with telling you that?!

I haven't read the whole thread fully, and it sounds like there are lots of issues, but from the age of 13 I refused to go on holiday with my family and went with my friends and their families instead. I have brothers and we argued all the time. I had various friends who were also only girls, or only children, and it worked out much more happily for everyone involved.