She's stolen my wedding...

[daftpink]

I feel really angry with my BF right now and can't decide if I'm being unreasonable or not...

I am getting married in June - we're having a 'wedding weekend' and have hired a lovely large house & guest cottages with an indoor swimming pool, games room etc from the Friday to Monday for our 25 guests.

We have organised a meal on the Friday night, a BBQ Party for the Saturday after the registry office and then a chilled out pool party on the Sunday.

My BF also has her wedding planned for September - a more formal church affair with sit down dinner etc.

Only now, BF has announced that the wedding plans have changed as she is 8 weeks pregnant....and that she has just booked the same house and is planning to invite close family and friends to join them for a relaxing weekend away to celebrate their wedding - 5 weeks before my wedding!

Our friendship group is the same, so other than family, we will have the same guests.

Basically, now her wedding will be almost the same as mine, but as hers is first, I'm the one that will look like I copied her!

Aibu to be absolutely livid that she's done this to me?

OP, you were very much mistaken to think that 'BF' is actually any kind of a friend if she has booked the venue you chose

IIWM I would go ahead with what you have planned, don't in invite exBF and send her a bill for your wedding advice and referral services. Based on the amount of hours research you have done £1,500 should cover it. Spend it on proper champagne for your do if you like.

That’s fucked up.

If she can’t see the issue it’s because she’s already wrestled with the wrongness of it and decided she’s more important so she’ll just be blind to the morals of it.

It’s rude, and she knows it; but she can’t admit that because it’s grade A bitch behaviour.

When it comes to it you honestly won’t care she did it first (looking like she has a beach ball up her frock) because it’s your wedding. But I can appreciate it will be hard to believe that right now.

For now, stop talking to her about your wedding and put a bit of distance between you. It’s not worth souring the whole friendship group over, just move closer to your other - less fucking cheeky - friends.

Imitation: the sincerest form of flattery.

omg after my last post Ive just read the same bloody restaurant Is she joking !!!!
Stealing a venue is one thing but the restaurant and pool idea...Im shocked beyond belief what kind of person does this????

I’m really upset for you! What did your mutual friends say?

If she's said you're "overreacting" then she knows she's done a shitty thing and is hoping you'll suck it up.

Sorry but I’m missing where we know that OP’s sebtcoit the invites already...

*sent out!

Ffs, fat thumbs

That’s a really rotten thing to do... I don’t blame you for being pissed off!

Don't let her see your wedding dress...

Wow, what a dick move! She's incredibly rude.

How odd!!!! Have you asked why??? I'd be pretty pissed at that.

That is rude. Can you bring yours forward?

Go to hers and cause a scene at the ceremony. Yanbu.

I'd be really gutted if my friend did this. Has she sent out invites yet?

Wow, I don't blame for being upset I'd be fuming. Any chance you can bring your wedding forward? Seems extreme but I'd be tempted to if possible.

She said above that her invitations were sent out before Christmas.
I would question whether this BF is in fact a friend at all. What a thoughtless, in fact, selfish thing to have done!

Yanbu, this is so cheeky, especially booking the same restaurant on top of everything.

I'm not sure there really is anything you can do about it other than think of some extra special things to do that will make your wedding more memorable.

Hire a DJ and have a pool party and bar one evening?

OP that is a shitty thing to do. Your friend should have found a different venue. She could have 'copied' the idea, but done her own research especially two weddings so close together and that she is now doing it first.
You need to think of ways to differentiate - how about a cool bar man/woman throwing some cocktails on the Sunday around the pool, a dj playing music?

I amazed the venue was available

Haha hippy literally said the same thing. The irony not lost on me on this thread huh!

It's quite short notice for guests if it is in 4 months so it may not be so well attended

What do your mutual friends think? Whilst no one owns a wedding idea this shit is nasty! I personally would just keep referring to the wedding as the "wedding trial" and say it'll be nice to "see how it goes" and that you'll "at least know what to avoid"

She KNOWS it's a shitty thing to do and knowing that she doesn't give a shiny shit about your feelings, feel free to say what the hell you want!

I certainly wouldn't go to her wedding. If you keep it as your venue, at least you won't be comparing your day with hers constantly. But sadly, your guests will........ that alone would be enough to spoil it for me.

I'd change venue OP. And I'd change friends.