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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

She's stolen my wedding...

339 replies

daftpink · 27/01/2018 18:07

I feel really angry with my BF right now and can't decide if I'm being unreasonable or not...

I am getting married in June - we're having a 'wedding weekend' and have hired a lovely large house & guest cottages with an indoor swimming pool, games room etc from the Friday to Monday for our 25 guests.

We have organised a meal on the Friday night, a BBQ Party for the Saturday after the registry office and then a chilled out pool party on the Sunday.

My BF also has her wedding planned for September - a more formal church affair with sit down dinner etc.

Only now, BF has announced that the wedding plans have changed as she is 8 weeks pregnant....and that she has just booked the same house and is planning to invite close family and friends to join them for a relaxing weekend away to celebrate their wedding - 5 weeks before my wedding!

Our friendship group is the same, so other than family, we will have the same guests.

Basically, now her wedding will be almost the same as mine, but as hers is first, I'm the one that will look like I copied her!

Aibu to be absolutely livid that she's done this to me?

OP posts:
lolalotta · 31/01/2018 21:40

This is awful. I'd challenge her on it OP! Sad

DorisDangleberry · 31/01/2018 21:47

Why get wound up? A wedding is only the first day of your marriage. The rest of your life is more important.

Rubies12345 · 31/01/2018 22:19

Did you go dress shopping together? I wonder if she'll get the same dress

eloisesparkle · 01/02/2018 07:32

I think the OP hasn't posted since the 27 th, 5 days ago.

Twinkie1 · 01/02/2018 08:04

As much as a big deal it seems now, the only important thing is you and DP making your vows/promises to each other and how life pans out from that moment.

GinIsIn · 01/02/2018 09:22

To those troll hunting - this really can happen. My SIL got married 4 months before me. “Wasn’t really interested in weddings”. Asked MIL what DH & I had booked so far. Turned up to her wedding to find ‘my’ cake, flowers, menu and first dance song. Hmm

Rianna · 01/02/2018 09:25

Not a nice thing to do but would not worry about that it looks you copies her . If people ask she will look stupid when you say what happened . But a great place is a great place and you can both have nice parties .
I hope you can save your friendship .

Jellybeanduck · 01/02/2018 10:21

Been picked up by the Daily Fail

MiddleClassProblem · 01/02/2018 10:28

Natch

EmpireVille · 01/02/2018 10:48

I sometimes think Mumsnet powers that be actually like these ridiculous stories ending up in the Mail.

This should have been pulled days ago.

hellsbellsmelons · 01/02/2018 11:05

This should have been pulled days ago
WHY??

EmpireVille · 01/02/2018 11:07

It was obvious from the word go that this would end up in the Mail.

MiddleClassProblem · 01/02/2018 11:08

Well it will get them more hits but not sure it means it should be pulled unless the OP requested it.

Half the ones they do print turn out to be the work of fiction so that’s amusing.

eloisesparkle · 01/02/2018 12:36

It's been 'picked up' by the Mail yet my post was deleted for troll hunting. Sad

It suits Mumsnet for the papers to ahem 'pick up' a thread.
It advertises Mumsnet to the masses.
More people join and advertisers reach a bigger audience, advertising revenue increases so Mumsnet wins.

EmpireVille · 01/02/2018 12:55

I'm not sure why I care actually. This one just irritated me.

Half the threads I open on Mumsnet these days scream "fiction" to me. There must be a lot of bored people out there.

browneyes77 · 01/02/2018 21:20

Christ, is there nothing the Daily Fail won’t print?

PoorYorick · 01/02/2018 22:54

Yes, anything involving genuine feminism and female solidarity. It is an utterly hateful rag that pits women against each other. I'm not a fan of Page 3, but it's not nearly as misogynistic and hateful as the Heil.

NotAgainYoda · 02/02/2018 05:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LaurenL1984 · 04/02/2018 00:47

I hope you see this in time! It's completely out of order for her to do what she has done. If it was a different venue that'd be different but no originality whatsoever! However, it gives you time to make something different about your wedding...Don't tell her about the new details either. There are lot of cheap ways to make a wedding spectacular! Try pinterest! I'm sure your friends and family are well aware of what she's doing as well though.

dcthatsme · 04/02/2018 07:21

Not on! At all! This so-called friend has a very dysfunctional idea of what constitutes a best friend. It is a very strange way to behave. Surely a friend would have your interests and feelings in mind?! I mean had she asked you first - that might have softened or mitigated her weird behaviour. I would find this very hard to stomach and sympathise with you. Your wedding is in June and hers is earlier. Let's hope it rains all weekend and is freezing cold! Seriously though I think you will need to tell her that you are really hurt and can't understand how she can do a thing like this. Good luck!

meladeso · 04/02/2018 07:47

So out of order!
I would be gutted and cross too.
What exactly have you said to her so far?

MsJolly · 10/02/2018 12:10

What happened in the end?

eloisesparkle · 10/02/2018 15:04

Rtft

MsJolly · 11/02/2018 22:49

I have thanks @eloisenotsosparkle... the OP hasn't come back and said if there has been further developments, I was only asking-there is no need to be a not so clever twat. Maybe you should RTFT

Motoko · 12/02/2018 11:01

Well, that's odd. OP did come back and said she'd changed the whole wedding and was no longer going to have the house for the weekend, but it's now disappeared, along with the replies to that post.
And they're not there at all. Usually when a post is deleted, you can still see there was a post, and the username, but it's like they were never there.
I expect this post will go, but hopefully @MsJolly and @eloisesparkle will see this.

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