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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

She's stolen my wedding...

339 replies

daftpink · 27/01/2018 18:07

I feel really angry with my BF right now and can't decide if I'm being unreasonable or not...

I am getting married in June - we're having a 'wedding weekend' and have hired a lovely large house & guest cottages with an indoor swimming pool, games room etc from the Friday to Monday for our 25 guests.

We have organised a meal on the Friday night, a BBQ Party for the Saturday after the registry office and then a chilled out pool party on the Sunday.

My BF also has her wedding planned for September - a more formal church affair with sit down dinner etc.

Only now, BF has announced that the wedding plans have changed as she is 8 weeks pregnant....and that she has just booked the same house and is planning to invite close family and friends to join them for a relaxing weekend away to celebrate their wedding - 5 weeks before my wedding!

Our friendship group is the same, so other than family, we will have the same guests.

Basically, now her wedding will be almost the same as mine, but as hers is first, I'm the one that will look like I copied her!

Aibu to be absolutely livid that she's done this to me?

OP posts:
mumpoints · 27/01/2018 21:33

Why would the papers think this was a story? It's not a story? It's someone saying that their wedding has been copied and people sympathising.

SassySausageSupper · 27/01/2018 21:43

Personally, I’d make do with the following:

  1. Making out like a martyr about how nice your friends new arrangements are and that of course you don’t mind they’re the same as yours
  1. Add in new elements that she doesn’t know about so your weekend is 100s of times better than hers was.

Good luck. What a bun.

MiddleClassProblem · 27/01/2018 22:03

mumpoints exactly. It’s shit journalism. They take through here all the time and wedding related stuff is a big target.

They’re twats. I really do think we should all come up with a disclaimer to copy and paste on to OPs to put them off.

PoorYorick · 27/01/2018 22:07

It isn't journalism at all, but there is really no moral argument against it. You can say it's lazy, and it is, but all they're doing is taking information from one public internet domain and put it on another public internet domain. You're no more identifiable on the Fail than you are here.

If you don't want to be quoted, do what some people do and give yourself a nick along the lines of 'PaulDacre'sVibratingButtPlug' .

mumpoints · 27/01/2018 22:14

Hahahahahah!

mumpoints · 27/01/2018 22:16

OMG that's it. Everyone change name to a PaulDacre (or other editor) thing whenever it is suspected the tabloids will be stealing for clicks.

MiddleClassProblem · 27/01/2018 22:19

I just write obscenities about them I my posts.

It is more identifying as sadly they reach more and a wider range of people so it’s more likely to get back to the friend in this case. If she’s not an MN user, it’s hblikely she’ll ever find out.

MiddleClassProblem · 27/01/2018 22:20

*unlikely

Oliversmumsarmy · 27/01/2018 22:28

Could you change your venue. Don't tell anyone. Then go to her wedding and announce after it didn't live up to your expectations and then say you have cancelled and an even better venue has come up. Then give out the venue of your new venue

beautyandthebeasty · 27/01/2018 22:28

I would be gutted but I would still have the same venue, I just wouldn't go to hers. I'd feel like I'd be reminded of her wedding on my wedding day and that would be too weird. I'd tell her why.

As annoying as it is that your guests would have gone to the same place already at least you didn't have to witness it. And make sure you temporarily delete your social media if you have it so that you don't see all the photos.
I was invited to a work friends wedding which was before mine at the same venue and I'm so pleased I didn't go!

IggyAce · 27/01/2018 22:29

OP I feel for you, she isn't your friend.
I wouldn't share nothing else about your day. I would be tempted to change the restaurant but everything else stays the same with your own personal touch.

walkingdowntheboulevard · 27/01/2018 22:29

Really? Be flattered, it'll be completely different to yours and even if it's not yours will be special, it's about you two not the venue!

Balibabe1 · 27/01/2018 22:33

She is not a friend and lacks imagination and integrity!

Everyone knows what she has done, it’s not a suck it up, but you will glow, you have had more time to plan.

Moving forward, distant yourself to the point of silence ( the bitch).

Wishing you a wonderful wedding weekend and a lovely marriage 💐

Balibabe1 · 27/01/2018 22:34

Distance....not distant!

EmpireVille · 27/01/2018 22:35

Why do people start these threads then disappear?

All this advice, all these opinions and questions and the OP says nothing.

Why?

TheAntiBoop · 27/01/2018 22:35

How is it flattering to the OP? It's flattering to the venue maybe

BatFaceGal · 27/01/2018 22:40

Empire - can't think for a moment 😂

ohlittlepea · 27/01/2018 22:45

That is really awful of her. Tell her to find her own venue!! Cheeky bitch.

AlwaysOneSock · 27/01/2018 23:02

Cups and ice! You need cups and ice! Grin

EmpireVille · 27/01/2018 23:10

This reply has been deleted

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inkandstone · 27/01/2018 23:12

Wow. This is absolutely unbelievable! I'd be pissed off too, if something like this happened...

EmpireVille · 27/01/2018 23:14

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FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats · 27/01/2018 23:20

Id just say to her "do what you want but I think you are a complete dick...but it doesn't matter, infact it's a great idea cause yours will be like a trial run and I can ask everyone after what they would of preferred to make it better. Well I mean obviously I will look better cause I won't be heavily preganant and obviously since I won't be heavily pregnant so will ve able to have more fun and let my hair down and look better by the pool on the Sunday...and manage to shave my bikini line and paint my toes with no bump in the way" pahahaha

SandAndSea · 27/01/2018 23:22

I'd be really upset too. It's pretty selfish behaviour. If you've already tried to talk to her and she's not getting it, I think the only thing left to do is show her this thread.

If it goes ahead... I agree with other posters about not going to hers in order to keep it special for yours in your own mind.

MiddleClassProblem · 27/01/2018 23:24

I wonder if the same people will have the same availability for her wedding though. The date has moved and it’s gobe from one day to a whole weekend.

Yours has already been booked in with them and they know well in advance. Potential some mag take half days or days off for the Friday. They may not be able to do that for her date.