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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

She's stolen my wedding...

339 replies

daftpink · 27/01/2018 18:07

I feel really angry with my BF right now and can't decide if I'm being unreasonable or not...

I am getting married in June - we're having a 'wedding weekend' and have hired a lovely large house & guest cottages with an indoor swimming pool, games room etc from the Friday to Monday for our 25 guests.

We have organised a meal on the Friday night, a BBQ Party for the Saturday after the registry office and then a chilled out pool party on the Sunday.

My BF also has her wedding planned for September - a more formal church affair with sit down dinner etc.

Only now, BF has announced that the wedding plans have changed as she is 8 weeks pregnant....and that she has just booked the same house and is planning to invite close family and friends to join them for a relaxing weekend away to celebrate their wedding - 5 weeks before my wedding!

Our friendship group is the same, so other than family, we will have the same guests.

Basically, now her wedding will be almost the same as mine, but as hers is first, I'm the one that will look like I copied her!

Aibu to be absolutely livid that she's done this to me?

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 29/01/2018 11:36

Apache I imagine you have some massively important job in PR. That is absolute genius.

flapjackfairy · 29/01/2018 11:52

I hope it piddles down all weekend for her and glorious sunshine for you. Some people are unbelievable!

eloisesparkle · 29/01/2018 12:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Trinity66 · 29/01/2018 12:17

YANBU, that was a terrible thing for her to do

GlitterUnicornsAndAllThatJazz · 29/01/2018 12:41

Aside from the copying issue its an issue because as a guest I would feel quite bored to go and have an exact replica of a weekend at the same place with the same people a month apart.

EmpireVille · 29/01/2018 13:16

Has the OP come back? Funny that.

Careful, my posts saying similar were deleted.

Some saddo reported me for troll-hunting.

inkandstone · 29/01/2018 14:45

And I woke up and it was all a dream.

MiddleClassProblem · 29/01/2018 14:58

EmpireVille because you’re troll hunting. You know the rules, if you suspect it’s not genuine you report the thread and don’t post doubtful comments (as much as you may want to). It’s not hard.

eloisesparkle · 29/01/2018 21:40

Empire my post was deleted.
My first deletion Smile
For stating the ble*ding obvious.

FairiesVsPixies · 30/01/2018 12:27

Still no OP? quelle surprise

eloisesparkle · 31/01/2018 07:49

Yes Fairies and yet Empire and Eloise (me) who is a long time poster get deleted. Sad

Oblomov18 · 31/01/2018 08:01

OMG ShockShockShock
I don't get her up about much, but this is truely a disgrace. And she thinks you are overreacting?

But on a practical level, I'm not sure there's much you can do.

Oblomov18 · 31/01/2018 08:06

Oh.
PBP? Sugar.

eloisesparkle · 31/01/2018 16:13

PBP ?

hellsbellsmelons · 31/01/2018 16:35

Good grief.
Usually wedding threads I just say 'get over it'
But this is taking the piss - big style.
What an utter bitch she is.
To piss all over your big day like that.
I would be having serious words with her about it.
That is just NOT OK!
Wow - I've seen it all now.

bettytaghetti · 31/01/2018 16:43

eloise = previously banned poster; don't know if they're referring to the OP

SandyY2K · 31/01/2018 16:48

I'd be pissed off tbh.

ClemDanfango · 31/01/2018 18:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LagunaBubbles · 31/01/2018 19:33

Of course it's the marriage that is important but the day is to otherwise people wouldn't put so much time, effort and money into planning a great perfect day. This is a really shitty thing to do and even worse she thinks you're overreacting OP.

Clandestino · 31/01/2018 19:41

There's few things I will never get. Aggro about a wedding and wearing the same clothes. FFS! It's your wedding. Go and fucking enjoy it.
Don't care about anyone else. It's not a bloody pissing contest. I wouldn't give a damn if someone copied my wedding incl. the dress and had it a day before me. And I wouldn't even mind if they all wore white, including the men.
IMHO, you're BVU. It's not a movie or a theatrical performance. It's not like people won't be to your wedding because they've already seen it. Weddings are all different.

PoorYorick · 31/01/2018 20:14

I wouldn't give a damn if someone copied my wedding incl. the dress and had it a day before me. And I wouldn't even mind if they all wore white, including the men.

I really, really, really would.

Even if you honestly don't find it a personal slight, it's culturally and societally considered to be rude. So you can safely assume they know it looks like they're sticking two fingers up at you, and they don't care.

ButterfliesnWaterfalls · 31/01/2018 20:47

Hmmmmmm....

BalloonSlayer · 31/01/2018 21:00

You cpull send a printed card to all your guests saying something like.

Dear all
We are sorry to throw a spanner in the works but we need to give you all a heads up that our wedding date or venue may have to be different from the invitations. We are having to look into changing it as BF has booked exactly the same venue and house for her wedding five weeks before ours. We are desperately looking for alternatives as no one wants to go to two identical weddings in quick succession! Please bear with us at this stressful time, we can't wait to see you all on our special day xxxx

MiddleClassProblem · 31/01/2018 21:19

Oh god, don’t send that! Between the relatives who have no idea who BF is and the friends that do but are yet to receive an invite from her you will seem like a drama llama. She’ll look like a tear when her invites are sent out, hopefully someone will dissuade her before hand but either way I’m sure most will be seeing it from your point of view.

Mookie81 · 31/01/2018 21:35

Hullygully that made me laugh Grin 💩