Husband celebrating his birthday without us

[Rubyrose80]

My husband is planning a trip to Vegas for his 40th birthday with just the lads meaning he will be over there for his birthday. I feel a bit put out to be honest not that I don't trust him I do but we have 3 small children and he made it clear no wives/girlfriends were invited which makes me feel that his friends take a higher priority on his list of people he'd celebrate his birthday with and not his family. AIBU to be a bit taken aback? I have been a part of his life for 15 years and whilst we take trips together and with friends on our own I'd never dream of not celebrating a milestone birthday with him.

really feel me and the kids are so low down on his priorities at times and this just proves it

And here's the real problem.

What do you want to do, OP?

It'd be a deal breaker for me too. Second place after his mates. So thoughtless of him.

I think I’d feel a bit insulted too op. I totally agree with it being his choice but it must feel shit that he’s chosen to spend a big birthday 1000’s of miles away from you.

I wouldn’t make a big deal if it’s alre booked though, it’ll only make him resent you.

We all know there are lots of lap dancing and strip clubs in vegas.

That would not be happening in my marriage

Heh, Baldrick, I am tired and have a crappy virus...

But this isn’t a nice family holiday, is it? This is a group of attached men deliberately choosing Vegas as a destination without their partners. And why? It sounds dodgy, particulate since he obviously didn’t discuss it with his partner.

Don't you have family money ...how can he decide to spend that much on himself

That's it exactly I really feel if he said I'd like to take a trip to Vegas at some stage next year to celebrate my birthday and it will be the lads only id be fine with that.

I think the trip in itself is not a massive problem as part of his 40th celebrations, but to actually go away without you on the day itself is pretty mean.

What did he say when you told him you’ve organised a massive family party for him on his birthday?

Fuck that. That's not normal.

Hell would freeze over before I agreed to this..

Would you (plural) be able to get the children looked after and go away for a few days? I don’t know if you’re BF, for example. Maybe he just wants to go away with adults. I went away with my friends every year when the children were small. I just needed time to be me again

Yeah that's pretty shit. Would he be happy for you to do the same? Go away with your mates and leave him with the kids?

Vegas? Lads only ? Grim.

I think the only party I'll be organizing will be a divorce party at this stage :-) he hasn't booked it yet but maybe when we sit down later I'll tell him to go another time even a few weeks later would be fine.

I would assume this was a joke if my husband suggested this.
Not a chance.

Fgs don't be a doormat

He hasn't booked it yet ? Tell him he he is quite welcome to go ahead but you and the kids won't be there when he gets back

Honestly ? A committed family man would not even entertain the idea.

Did he ask you if you were OK with his proposal?

The way you presented it in your op made me think it was already booked

Get some respect for yourself...there is none for you from him

Are you and the kids low down on his list of priorities the rest of the time?

Should he spend his birthday doing something he doesn't want to do? - what, like with his wife and kids? If celebrate a significant birthday without them was something he didnt want to do, He'd soon find himself without a marriage.

Strippers and gambling are the first things that comes to mind when i think of Vegas.

I would have assumed DH was telling a tale if he had said that was what he had planned for his 40th

Not a good plan

I wouldn't object to him going at all providing it didn't stretch the family finances. But I'd take issue if he was away for his actual birthday. That's very selfish behaviour.

I’m going to New York for my 40th with friends to meet friends out there. Dh is staying at home with the kids.

If he’s doing something that badly impacts on family finances it’s shitty, if it’s affordable than why can’t you do the family thing afterward if that’s what you feel you need?