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Original poster

Another meal bill splitting thread...

215 replies

frenchfancy17 · 25/01/2018 16:12

Went out for a family meal today. I had a meal and dessert which came to £12.
I asked my mum to give my share of the money to person who paid the bill on their card for convenience as I had to dash for the School run and then I'd pay her back.

Get a text off my mum asking me if I'd known we were paying a bit towards my grandparents meal too (it was my grand birthday.) I text her back saying I didn't know this and how much was it then?

She texts back saying £20.
There was 10 of us at the meal including grandparents. 4 others had alcohol and expensive meals compared to mine... My auntie decided that we could just split the bill (8 of us.)

My mum said she said this at the table AFTER the meal. I didn't hear it!

She's being a CF isn't she?
My mum's also annoyed at it being decided for us!

OP posts:
TheCowWentMoo · 26/01/2018 18:28

On average everyone had about £16 worth of food, which is really just one glass of wine extra. It's not like your subsidising their lobster. And f we include a tip on that then it would be about £140 worth of food so really £14 per person, which is not even an entire glass of coke and definitely not any alcohol. If this was a group of friends I can sort of understand but its your family and they will have paid a hell of a lot more for you over the years. I think you should have told yor mum you were on a really tight budget tbh

grannytomine · 26/01/2018 18:32

Just because others enjoy a glass or two doesnt make them any worse than you It isn't about being better or worse it is about expecting someone else to subsidise your glass or two. Why is it stingy to not want to do that but not stingy to expect someone else to pay for your booze?

Paying share for GP is fair enough.

MiddleClassProblem · 26/01/2018 18:43

Actual if you take off a group tip at 12.5% it works out as 14.22 per head so it’s £2.22 more on their meal. Not even a small glass of wine. Maybe a Coke?

Delatron · 26/01/2018 18:56

Subsiding coke is fine though, couldn't possibly subsidise a small glass of wine...

If the spilt bill came to only £20 each then clearly nobody was taking the piss and getting hammered whilst you sipped your tap water.

Strongmummy · 26/01/2018 19:04

You’ve confirmed it was £20
total so it really wasn’t much extra you had to put in at all for your grandparents. Also I think if you can’t afford to split a bill equally YOU make it known upfront that you’re only able to pay for your meal.

PuppyMonkey · 26/01/2018 19:07

I think the grandparents were stingy for not paying. Wink

Joking.

Stick to Wetherspoons and pay as you go in future. No need for tips.

Teeniemiff · 26/01/2018 19:11

I would pay towards grandparents meal but I would also be a bit miffed paying towards others. Although I say that it would depend who (I wouldn’t begrudge getting my sis a drink for example).
We have split the bill before now when it’s fairly equal eg everyone had 1 main but sometimes we pay just for our own. If we know we need to budget a little & can go out but need to keep it cheapish, I would be annoyed at having to pay extra so others could have a more expensive meal if I have purposefully ordered cheap.
I’d say grandparents meal should have been divided between you & other people pay for theirs.

iamyourequal · 26/01/2018 19:14

OP nobody has pointed out the fact that it never occurred to you to offer to pay towards your GPs share in the first place. Did you just not think of it? Did you think someone else would do it or did you think it far for you GPs to pay their own lunch?

LizardMonitor · 26/01/2018 19:24

It’s an occasion.
You can’t go and celebrate someone’s birthday and then start haggling and arguing about who had a half of lager and a spriitzer in front of the birthday guests, it’s graceless and unseemly.

Did you leave a contribution to the tip / service charge? Because I find that when everyone leaves the cost of what they had there is often a shortfall.

If you really cannot afford it tell your aunt.

If you and your Mum really want to stir up a family row in the aftermath of a lovely family row, crack on.

Otherwise, your GPS had a lovely time, you all spent their birthday together, your aunt had the lovely (and somewhat obvious idea, why didn’t it occur to you and your Mum??) to treat them, move on.

HolyShet · 26/01/2018 19:24

I suppose the thing is - very realistically - the OP could perhaps not really have afforded to go out at all, but have gone without stuff as it was a special occasion, and now be faced with going without even more things (topping up the electricity, decent food).

In those circs, the Aunt was unreasonable not to check.

£8 could easily be food shopping/work bus far till the end of the month.

I think people who are going to magnaniously decide the birthday person is not paying should not assume that others can afford to subsidise their generosity.

LizardMonitor · 26/01/2018 19:26

Hah! Was x posting with PP about treating your GP.

LizardMonitor · 26/01/2018 19:28

IF the OP really cannot afford it it is perfectly reasonable to explain to the aunt that it isn’t possible to pay more money at the moment.

But the message I am getting is that it is the principle, not the price, that had the OP narked.

Seasideshirl · 26/01/2018 20:29

It's family I am sure you will have the favour returned one day

TickyTakky · 26/01/2018 20:35

I always find its the people that have tap water/cheapest meal option etc that go through this and it frustrates me so much

😂Doh, well obviously. The ones that have modest meals are the ones more likely to be watching their money. The ones splashing out on steaks and expensive drinks are bound to be more happy to split the bill.

GabsAlot · 26/01/2018 20:46

i would pay for their meal but noone elses

so someones paid the bill then went back to grans and decided everyone was paying to subsidise them

it should have been discussed at the meal not after at someones house

genius1308 · 26/01/2018 21:40

SheGotBetteDavisEyes, I'm not saying I would do that, that's the point. I'm saying I can't believe how many people are commenting that the OP, and anyone like her, should basically become a hermit and never socialise if they can't afford to subsidise other people's meals. Some people have to watch every penny and £8 may be a lot to her, and others. I would hate to think my friends turned down an invitation to go out because they worried about what everyone else was going to order off the menu. Unless everyone's ordering pretty much the same then just pay for what you've ordered then there's no embarrassment.

Geordie1944 · 26/01/2018 21:49

Before anyone orders anything, say to the waiter, "Separate bills, please". Problem solved. And if it has been agreed beforehand that two people are to be treated, then take their bills off them, divide the total by the number of people remaining and add the result to all the separate bills. The restaurant doesn't care as long as they get paid. Then the vegan water-drinkers pay for what they eat, and the greedy guts do too. Why do people make such a FUSS?

norfolkenclue · 26/01/2018 21:49

Like most people have said...£8.00. Seriously...you made a thread about this? 🙄

grannytomine · 26/01/2018 21:51

Actual if you take off a group tip at 12.5% it works out as 14.22 per head so it’s £2.22 more on their meal. If 8 people were sharing cost of grandparents meals and each paid £8 extra, like OP, it means the grandparents had a £32 meal each. I think that is right, 8 times £20 is £160, if the 8 had a £12 meal that is £96 so yes £64 for the 2 GPs to eat. I don't think so somehow. Or someone decided on a £40 tip?

Tweez · 26/01/2018 21:52

I think you are being a bit tight too....sorry.

grannytomine · 26/01/2018 21:52

Like most people have said...£8.00. Seriously...you made a thread about this? Nothing to you but a fortune to some.

grannytomine · 26/01/2018 21:55

I always find its the people that have tap water/cheapest meal option etc that go through this and it frustrates me so much

Yes it is so frustrating when people won't subsidise your more expensive meal. It's so selfish and thoughtless isn't it? Maybe you'd like it if they just handed you their purse.

MiddleClassProblem · 26/01/2018 22:01

grannytomine 14.22• x 10 is £142.22

142.22 x 1.125 is £160 (£159.997) which was the total bill.

Unless nobody left a tip/someone else covered it.

grannytomine · 26/01/2018 22:07

But some people didn't have a £14.22 meal and we don't know if anyone paid a tip or what the tip was. 8 x £20 is £160 and as I said if everyone had a £12 meal the bill would have been £120 not £160. So £40 has gone somewhere but we don't know where, maybe everyone except the OP had a £16.44 meal or maybe one person had a £52 meal but however you look at it the OP paid more than their share so someone, other than the grandparents, were subsidised by someone who hadn't realised they were expected to do that and who wasn't asked if they wanted to leave a tip.

Skittlesandbeer · 26/01/2018 22:14

Sorry, I think that if you know you will be unable to afford a split of the bill based on how many bods at the table, it is on you to let people know before the meal.

It’s very common that someone will suggest a ‘per head’ split, and it avoids that annoying (and awkward and rude to the guest of honour) faff of ‘but who had more garlic bread?’, ‘didn’t Susie have a second wine?’ nonsense.

If you are worried about how bills are going to be split then get ahead of it, or at least plan to advocate your position by being there when the bill comes around. If you have to leave early (a bit rude in itself), then word up someone to act for you.

In all this I’d be thinking about making it nice for the birthday guest, ahead of ‘who drank what’ or a few £.