To think this is quite rude? I paid for her £72.34 shopping.

[LilacBearberry]

I work part-time in a supermarket and it was someone's last shift. I do have a gift for her at home (as she didn't know her leaving date) but I told her to grab a few bits and I'll treat her (I didn't know what else to do).

The shopping came to £72.34! She then goes "thanks so much".

She also knows I'm a student :(

Maybe it's my fault for doing what I did, but don't you think that's quite rude?

How bloody rude. She took the piss big time.

yanbu, she's a cf. I'd of probably done the same though, smiled and put it through then cried at home about it. For the future just buy an average priced bottle of wine or chocolates, don't give someone that option again.

You should have picked one or two things out of the shopping basket and paid for them. And left the rest up to her what she did. Can't believe you paid for the whole lot. Why?

Op, it was thoughtful of you and a kind gesture. You are not silly at all. I've done similar in the past, albeit the receiver was very sensible in picking a cheap little item - they really appreciated the gesture.
In future, just say something like, "you've £20 (or however much you can afford) to treat yourself"

I hope you're OK, OP, with the insults flying around here. No idea what peple are trying to achieve by that.

It’s done now.

Yes it was taking the piss, she’s a hard faced arse.

Learn from this and don’t put yourself in that position again.

I can see how OP could have been taken by surprise if she thought her colleague had decided to do her weekly shop but was gonna let OP pay for a bottle of wine first.

But I don't understand how this went down after that. I don't understand how anyone just hands over so much money.

Jesus - but sometimes you can get old-timers at places of work who see people like OP who are perhaps students or doing it as a second job, as people who they can push around. Maybe there's been an inbalance of power, maybe this employee took OP under her wing a bit. Unfortunately now she's decided that she is leaving, she tried it on with OP, probably all ready with her comeback if OP protested - i.e. "Ha, just having a joke with you!" but OP took the bait and paid it all. They aren't even friends outside work.

It's hard to believe but for example I was brought up by a strict, overbearing mother who taught me that I was always second and put myself second and so I have problems with not knowing my own worth especially in work situations and some people do take advantage of that.

In my first job I was a part-time waitress whilst studying. I got horribly pushed around by the old-timers - the full time, older staff. They sat around chatting in the back, knowing I was run off my feet but also knowing I wouldn't dare ask or tell them to pull their weight. They had the power - I didn't - we all knew it.

Why wasn't there a whip round? Why did everyone get individual gifts?

I hope you're OK, OP, with the insults flying around here. No idea what peple are trying to achieve by that.

Where's the insults?

Pp have called OP a mug, fucking spineless, a doormat - all pretty insulting imo

Posters- this colleague was relying on OP having said she'd pay. She probably had a good idea OP would be too polite/shy/nice to "renege" on the offer once items presented and also this colleage would definitely have made a point of looking expectant because OP said she would pay, so OP would feel odd/mean picking through this colleagues shopping saying she would only pay for this and that. She knows OP is far too polite and likely would not confront her over the price.

Unfortunately there are piss takers out there only too willing to take the mickey out of nice people. It's not bizarre or unusual. That's why the world is full of scammers and scammed people. OP is not alone.

Not much you can do about it now except tell all your colleagues/any mutual friends exactly what she did

And nominate her for the MN CF awards.

'Why wasn't there a whip round? Why did everyone get individual gifts?'

Probably because she probably had a reputation for being a CF and no one wanted to bother.

I can only think she completely misunderstood your offer, then was surprised when you paid the whole thing - does that sound at all plausible?!

Pp have called OP a mug, fucking spineless, a doormat - all pretty insulting imo

I don't see "fucking spineless", I just see mug and spineless said.
If you ask for opinions, you're going to get them.
You ARE a bit of a mug and/or spineless if you pay going on for a hundred quid weekly shop including yoghurts for your kids when you said " get yourself a few bits as a leaving present!"

'I can only think she completely misunderstood your offer, then was surprised when you paid the whole thing - does that sound at all plausible?!'

No, because if that were so, she'd have given her money back.

OP, How old are you?

Have you known the CF long?

What a piss taker ! Surely she didn't think you meant to pay for her weeks shopping.
Maybe she got home and realised you probably didn't mean that to happen. If she's any sort of friend she will apologise.
I hope this has taught you a valuable lesson op.

Wow she is a CF!!
It was a bit of a weird offer but she never should have taken you up on it and then done her weekly shop.

Wow. Really harsh comments...

I'm 19 (for the person that asked).

I now realise I was just fucking stupid. I was trying to be nice.

You aren't stupid at all. The fault was hers, not yours.

wow she is def a CF!
OP, I do not think it was an odd offer at all, but she obviously took advantage of you. She probably knew that you would not say no.

I do not see why people find it so strange (and even irritating by the tone of the replies) that other people might freeze in situations like this and do things that they would not normally do?