To think this is quite rude? I paid for her £72.34 shopping.

[LilacBearberry]

I work part-time in a supermarket and it was someone's last shift. I do have a gift for her at home (as she didn't know her leaving date) but I told her to grab a few bits and I'll treat her (I didn't know what else to do).

The shopping came to £72.34! She then goes "thanks so much".

She also knows I'm a student :(

Maybe it's my fault for doing what I did, but don't you think that's quite rude?

' I can see how it would be easy to 'freeze' and not know how to refuse when put on the spot. sad'

Seriously?

Stop giving leaving gifts to anyone. Be the collector so people don’t know you’re not contributing but don’t give money yourself. You never see these people again and it usually ends with you moving jobs and not even getting a card.

So you told her to pick a couple of bits, she did a shop & you still paid??

Yep expat, I can see how this might happen. I once gave £50 (my spending money for my three day trip to Oxford for interviews) to a homeless woman with a little girl. i froze when she asked me and just handed it over.

After five years there, I now know she's part of a well-oiled machine. We live and learn.

OP - you're not a sap, or an idiot, or a mug. Just a nice person. Don't let this greedy chancer change that.

@lilacbearberry you made a very kind offer, dont take it as a slight on you. however chalk it up to a learning curve. She was extremely rude and clearly "saw you coming". Cut all contact with her (if there was to be any more) as clearly she doesn't value you. Also maybe head to the wine aisle and find a well known brand (Hardy's, Jacobs Creek, Echo Falls) at £6-£8 a bottle and maybe use that for colleagues go-to gifts in future :).

Hopefully you've learned a very hard lesson today OP. Sometimes kindness is taken advantage of, and you need to learn to say "no that isn't OK". Stand in front of a mirror and practice saying it... it does help.

Was it her week’s shop?! That is proper mad.

I feel bad for you, but you really should be more assertive, it does you no favours being soft!

Text her and ask why she let you pay for her weekly shop!

Fucking hell.

I'm as impressed at her gall as I'm aghast at your doormat impression, OP. You'll have to suck it up this time and take it as a lesson on how not to be a mug I'm afraid.

expat Yes. Not everyone is you. People have different upbringing and different life experiences, and different personalities. For example, I was brought up to believe that nobody would like me if I said 'no' or stood up for myself. Maybe it's not the same for the OP, but I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and try to have a little empathy.

Oh for goodness sake the OP isn't a delicate wee flower big bad colleague has taken advantage of, this only happens when people let other people walk all over them. I'm sorry when the bill came to over £70 I dont get why you didn't say something OP, no-one is that spineless.

Oh come on

You know you'll never see her again though OP, as she's leaving? That's probably why she took advantage of you. You can't get that money back, so chalk it up to experience and look up assertiveness tips online.

Yes what a cheeky fecker, but you should have said, whoa, no I am not paying for your shopping love, I meant grab some wine and some choccies or something small.

I would've refused to pay for it. Sorry but think £10-£15 max would've been more reasonable. £70 odd quid...? cheek

Dumb OP. She took the piss but saw you coming!

Weird

If you don't know her well enough to pop round her house, how come you paid for her weekly shop?
I can't believe you really paid for that.

You need to chalk this one to experience op. How old are you btw?

Bless you OP. So sorry that she took advantage of you. maybe learn a lesson for the future but you are a kind person.

I can see why you offered.
In her shoes I would have said 'thank you' and spent up to £10 on wine/chocs/bathoil/flowers.
To spend £70 is downright mean. Does she know you are a student?
I can see why you were too gobsmacked to say anything.
I hope you can return/use/regift what you were going to give her.

You were horribly taken advantage of no one decent would do this

I can understand it’s a difficult and awkward situation you are not at fault but you can learn something from this experience

Why is it a bizarre offer??? She's a massive CF though. Sorry OP. I can see how it would be easy to 'freeze' and not know how to refuse when put on the spot

I'm the least confrontational person ever, and a bit of a wet lettuce, but come ON, even I'd be like "sorry, I meant get yourself like a box of chocolates, or bottle of wine/flowers or something, I can't afford to do a 70 quid weekly shop for you!"

You sound fairly young, is this your first job? When someone you don't know well leaves you don't need to buy a present, just wish them well. No-one will mind. (Apologies, I don't mean to patronise, just going on what you've said!)

She was definitely a CF, some people in life are, and I can understand you just paying. I hope karma bites her on the bum.

She's a cheeky fucker op