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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is quite rude? I paid for her £72.34 shopping.

444 replies

LilacBearberry · 24/01/2018 20:38

I work part-time in a supermarket and it was someone's last shift. I do have a gift for her at home (as she didn't know her leaving date) but I told her to grab a few bits and I'll treat her (I didn't know what else to do).

The shopping came to £72.34! She then goes "thanks so much".

She also knows I'm a student :(

Maybe it's my fault for doing what I did, but don't you think that's quite rude?

OP posts:
flumpybear · 27/01/2018 07:58

Bloody hell shes old enough to be your mum and she stings you for her weekly shopping bill?! Cheeky butch - text her back and say I thought you'd be gracious enough to spend about £10 not use me to buy your weekly shopping bill - guess that's the kind of person you are, I'll make a joke of it at work and see if you've made a habit of blindly taking advantage

rumbelina · 27/01/2018 08:02

Just say ‘don’t be ridiculous you know full well I offered to get you a couple of things and not your weekly shop’

Brightredpencil · 27/01/2018 08:41

She's compounding her offence massively. That amount of money on ANY gift is clearly way too much.
As for the employment reference - many are simply factual these days to avoid litigation, however telephone references can be a little more open and if I were her manager you'd be able to tell from the tone of my voice what I thought of her. As a line manager I would also want to know about this even though it would be a bit of a arse ache and I would pursue it. I would probably also change the policy on gift giving to ensure this couldn't happen (you shouldn't really be carrying your purse around on the shop floor for instance) and ensure that leaving gifts were limited to £10.

LokiBear · 27/01/2018 08:46

When I was 19, I worked in a bar and on one shift, my 30 year old team leader was crying because she wanted to go on a weeklong break with some of the other team leaders but she was £200 short. She was in a vile mood all shift and commented to someone else that they'd better get used to it as she would be on charge for the whole week next week. For some reason, and to this day I'm still not sure if it was because I felt sorry for her because she was crying or because I was terrified of having her as the only manager for an entire week, I offered to lend her the money. She gratefully accepted and promises to pay me back were made. When she came back, she didn't so much as even mention the money. After a few weeks I asked her if she would be able to pay me back and she said 'Oh yes, next week....' I worked there for 4 months after that and next week never came. In hindsight, she was attempting to manipulate all of us by being vile and dropping hints the sizes of Texas that she would have the money the week after, if only there was some way to get it now blah blah blah. I fell for it. At the time, I felt angry with myself. I certainly never made the same mistake again. I don't feel angry or stupid anymore. I'm a nice person, if never do what she did to anyone. I'm glad I am who I am, even if I was naive. I'm sorry you've been stung by a C.F. op. Learn from it but don't change your core. Nice guys finish last, but we tend to be happy, because c.f. selfish bitches are far too self involved to be anything but miserable.

BillywilliamV · 27/01/2018 08:48

Quite a cheap price for a valuable life lesson.

mysteryfairy · 27/01/2018 08:51

What a horrible thing to have happened.

I'd leave it now though OP. You have mental competence, in the eyes of the law it was definitely a gift. I can't imagine any employer getting involved either or letting it impact a reference etc as they'd be on shaky legal ground too, even if morally your ex colleague is in the wrong.

Keep the life lesson in mind but try not to dwell on it as it'll just make you miserable.

NewYearNewMe18 · 27/01/2018 08:54

Call me a cynic but the Daily Mail hasn't picked up on this thread, neither has the OP been back for three days .....

This board has fast become who can make up the biggest CF thread to get picked up by the MSM

BadLad · 27/01/2018 10:33

I assume the newspapers want controversial topics, where posters disagree with other, when they lift threads from here.

There's no discussion here. Everyone agrees that the colleague is taking the piss.

Tinycitrus · 27/01/2018 10:36

It’s not your fault op.

Sorry that happened.

Some people are just ...terrible people.

Original poster
LilacBearberry · 27/01/2018 10:52

I am here... Sorry.

OP posts:
chuffineck · 27/01/2018 10:59

Don't apologise OP.

As other posters have said, treat it as lesson learnt and move on.

You sound like a lovely person Flowers

PurpleTango · 27/01/2018 11:25

OP there is no point in continuing to get your money back from CF. You paid voluntarily. She didn’t steal your card and use it to buy her groceries. You are young, naive and were put in a seemingly impossible situation - and you paid because, at the time, you felt under pressure to pay.

Chalk it up to experience, learn from it and move on. The last thing you need is to make an enemy of such an unscrupulous person.

Have a chat with your parents. Tell them you know you have been stupid and you regret it. Maybe they can help?

There are some CF’s in this world, for sure!

Put it down to experience and make sure nobody takes advantage of your kind nature again.

For you Flowers

restingbemusedface · 27/01/2018 21:09

So what happened OP? Did you reply?

Thanxpanx · 28/01/2018 12:53

It is in the daily mail

Clovertoast · 28/01/2018 14:40

Yup daily mail have arrived.
Wonder if C.F. reads it?? She seems like a sidebar of shame kind of person.

callmeadoctor · 28/01/2018 15:09

Ooooooooh gosh!!!!!

BulletFox · 28/01/2018 15:12

Well, that's one way to tell her how you feel...

FanofFung · 28/01/2018 15:14

Was just coming back to alert OP about the Fail picking it up.

rcit · 28/01/2018 15:18

Well if the Daily Mail picked it up, the CF will be publicly shamed. The OP did nothing wrong and clearly had advantage taken of her.

SandyDenny · 28/01/2018 15:19

For once I'm glad this has been picked up by a newpaper website, maybe the CF will get to hear about it and see that amazingly for MN no one thinks she was being reasonable.

Emmageddon · 28/01/2018 15:20

For the first time ever, I am pleased to see that the Mail has picked this up. The woman in question will be cringing if she sees it - I hope she does! Grin

raspberrysuicide · 28/01/2018 16:07

And The Sun has it too, it also appeared on my upday news feed

CornforthWhite · 28/01/2018 16:47

I hope she sees sense OP. She should be ashamed of herself.

essexgirl2018 · 28/01/2018 18:26

hopefully you have learned a lesson here and that is to never do this again! perhaps you lack self-esteem and confidence to have bought a present and to offer to buy shopping for someone who just worked with you and the fact you had little money in the first place! you have to ask yourself why you did this to yourself?! why you had the urge to give your money away to someone you hardly know?! and you never knew this person well - they were just someone you worked with! remember if you work with someone they are just a colleague unless you hang out with each other frequently outside of work. ask yourself were you doing this so as to make people think you were a better person for spending money on someone?! if so then you now know all this does is make people take advantage. honestly there is no point coming on here going over what you did when you should have not done this in the first place. if you are so poor then why give what you have away?! giving money away does not make you a better person. i am not suggesting you are an awful person but merely giving away what you do not have makes you no better a person and it does not make people think better of you. you do not need to buy presents for anyone you work with unless they really mean something in your life and have done stuff for you. just because someone is nice to you it does not mean you have to treat them. you have to love yourself before you can love other people. so learn from this and love yourself more. hopefully once you love yourself more than others you will have more confidence and self esteem not to even want to do anything like this again.

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