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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is quite rude? I paid for her £72.34 shopping.

444 replies

LilacBearberry · 24/01/2018 20:38

I work part-time in a supermarket and it was someone's last shift. I do have a gift for her at home (as she didn't know her leaving date) but I told her to grab a few bits and I'll treat her (I didn't know what else to do).

The shopping came to £72.34! She then goes "thanks so much".

She also knows I'm a student :(

Maybe it's my fault for doing what I did, but don't you think that's quite rude?

OP posts:
starray · 25/01/2018 23:43

Text back - "I didn't realize it either - so can I please have it back now? xxxx"

starray · 25/01/2018 23:44

Ticky's suggestion is perfect.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 25/01/2018 23:50

I would text back:

“You honestly can’t have thought that someone in my position was offering you a blank cheque to do your a £75 shop, when all I said was I’d get you ‘a COUPLE of bits’. I think you know you were taking the pis, and you are trying to bully me into backing down. It is not working.”

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 25/01/2018 23:52

Grrr - sorry for the typos

“You honestly can’t have thought that someone in my position was offering you a blank cheque to do a £75 shop, when all I said was I’d get you ‘a COUPLE of bits’. I think you know you were taking the piss, and you are trying to bully me into backing down. It is not working!”

sazza76 · 26/01/2018 00:11

Her reply to you just proves she was deliberately taking advantage of you. I think you should still reply asking for some money back. You are at a point now where you really have nothing to lose and you never know it might work to threaten her with reporting her. Other posters have given some good ideas about what you could say.

Your offer to her was very kind and thoughtful. I don't believe I know anyone who would have behaved like her. Please don't let it change your thoughtfulness just be a little more cautious. I would have done exactly the same in just paying it at your age, and also when I was older than you. I remember that shocked feeling where you want to say something but you just can't, it won't come out. We're all different and whilst some posters haven't been able to see how that could happen, there have also been some who would have been the same.
The person in the wrong here isn't you.

GlitteryFluff · 26/01/2018 00:14

What a CF.

SteamyBeignets · 26/01/2018 00:21

I am going to start a website where people can reveal identities of these CFs. I'm so angry on your behalf OP! She thinks you'd be happy to pay 70+ pounds for her leaving gift? Is she for real? I hope she chokes on her food!

Womensplaceisintherevolution · 26/01/2018 00:34

What SGTG wrote is perfect. Don't give in to her op. Speak to others at work. You don't have to accept this Flowers

DreamyMcDreamy · 26/01/2018 00:34

Ooh, her reply takes the piss, but really isn't unexpected!
Anyone who had misunderstood would be mortified and apologise, they wouldn't come back with that.
She's a cheeky fucker of the highest order and is just peeved at being called out on it.
Those saying "threaten her with management." Hasn't she left? Hence the post, it's a leaving present cheeky fuckery!

MinorRSole · 26/01/2018 00:34

I'm in my 40s with 4 kids to feed - a few bits to me is bread, milk, fruit, maybe something for tea, so under £20. It's nothing to do with your age and she knows it.

I would send her another message - stating that you absolutely intended her to take you up on your gift, which is why you are only asking for £60 back (or whatever you are asking for).

£72, bloody hell she flew past the cf line about £40 ago!

Bippitybopityboo · 26/01/2018 00:51

Really like the pps idea to link her to this thread. Do it op she's a true CF.
And if she does pop on and is not a mumsnetter CF = cheeky fucker. HTH

Tantpoke · 26/01/2018 01:19

OP tell the Store Manager and Head Office how she basically swindled £70 from a vulnerable kind hearted Student and that in the light of this she shouldnt really be getting a decent reference as it clearly proves she is not a trustworthy employee.

Luckily you have the texts as proof now.

Tantpoke · 26/01/2018 01:20

OP make sure the texts from her make it clear she knows it was wrong and is not willing to return the money etc.

Falmer · 26/01/2018 01:59

To CF, "I didn't realise a £72 shop was a usual leaving present, (I was expecting chocs or wine) so I asked my friends and family. They were shocked and informed me it wasn't usual at all. Kindly return the full £72 because I no longer feel like giving you anything".

Falmer · 26/01/2018 02:02

OP should ask for ALL the money back because the woman is nasty. Even giving her a tenner is rewarding her!

Falmer · 26/01/2018 02:06

If this was my dd I'd be fuming!

catwoozle · 26/01/2018 04:50

You need to practice your assertiveness and realise not everyone has to like you. Particularly when they are leaving your workplace and you will likely never see them again.

I'm sorry you encountered such a monumentally cheeky fucker though.

catwoozle · 26/01/2018 04:56

You won't get the money back, no point in asking. What you can do is tell everyone what happened and show them your text to publicly shame her.

BedtimeTea · 26/01/2018 07:26

You were being kind, and expected her to act civilized, instead she showed how rude and thoughtless that she really is. Probably the type to steal a tip off a table. I am sorry it happened to you.

buckeejit · 26/01/2018 07:47

You were very kind, she was very rude & Grabby. Has she ever contributed to a leaving gift? Was it to the value of £70

If she has any morals she'd give you £60 back. She must know you can't afford that and is taking advantage in a very bad way

MrsDilber · 26/01/2018 08:04

You could've bought her a £10 or £20 gift card from your store or one close by. But it's too late now and she's a cheeky so and so.

I really understand it being awkward, but learning to say no is something worthwhile, you'll not regret it.

10thingsIhateAboutTheDailyMail · 26/01/2018 08:46

I think a £20 gift card would be too much as well!

For colleagues' leaving presents, especially in a minimum wage job, a few quid each is more than enough, to buy a nice card and some flowers or chocs from the team.

gamerwidow · 26/01/2018 08:57

OP this woman really is a nasty piece of work. She must know that what she did is out of order no one thinks taking a £70+ gift from someone they barely know is ok. You tried to do a kind thing and she took advantage of you and now she’s trying to pretend it’s you that it is at fault. It’s a horrible life lesson to learn that not everyone shares your values next time just get a card or a small present. What a horrible person though, you are so much better than she is!

user187656748 · 26/01/2018 09:01

PM us all her number and we'll all text her

Clearly don't really but it would be very satisfying

user187656748 · 26/01/2018 09:08

In fact I think I'd be sneaky about it.

I'd say

"I wasn't thinking properly, so sorry. I really do need you to transfer back the money since I have bills to pay this week but to apologise for the mix up I'll take you out for dinner next week once I've been paid again. My treat. Would Saturday be ok at 7.30? Here are my bank details. Looking forward to seeing you on Saturday, I can pick you up if you like? Still also have your original pressie here to give you!! xx"

Then once the money is safely in your bank again, stand the CF up.

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