To think this is quite rude? I paid for her £72.34 shopping.

[LilacBearberry]

I work part-time in a supermarket and it was someone's last shift. I do have a gift for her at home (as she didn't know her leaving date) but I told her to grab a few bits and I'll treat her (I didn't know what else to do).

The shopping came to £72.34! She then goes "thanks so much".

She also knows I'm a student :(

Maybe it's my fault for doing what I did, but don't you think that's quite rude?

What @tickytacky said and show the texts to your manager.

She's disgusting. If she has gone to another branch, management should be made aware.

Like others have said, she is trying to shame you into silence!!

Do not stop now!!!!

Don't let her get away with this.

Do text her the suggested texts above!

If she doesn't return the 70£...withib say 5 days... Involve your bosses.... Let them let her current employers know how lacking in integrity /dishonest she is..... And who has financially abused a junior staff member

Oh please do not let this CF get away with this.

And absolutely go to your manager about this. She hustled you. This is theft, and she knows it...

I read this thread yesterday and hoped to come back and see it was some obscure misunderstanding. Having seen her response I am furious on your behalf OP. Please, please stand up for yourself.

Ugh, she is absolutely awful and knew exactly what she was doing! 100% CF.

user187656748 I do like a bit of poetic justice. 😂

As awful as her behaviour was I don't think management can do anything about it. The op didn't give an amount and she willingly paid out of awkwardness. Obviously no-one with any manners or morals would behave like the cf. They would ask if what they had chosen was ok, pick something of a low cost etc but I don't think the op can make her pay it back. It would be the right thing to do but it doesn't sound like the cf has any better nature to appeal to.
Nothing to lose asking her though and it might at least make her feel as uncomfortable as she made the op feel.
I'd text back something like 'I was meaning to choose some wine and chocolates or something. I paid the bill because I was shocked and embarrassed that it was so much! I'm sure most people don't spend over £70 on a colleague they don't know all that well. I really can't afford it so if you could transfer some back I'd really appreciate it. Say £60 as £12 is a decent gift I think.'
Then if she refuses just make sure everyone knows what she did - especially people you think she will still see.

She has left I don't understand what people think is going to happen by talking to management . It is not going to affect a reference most of the Time references just say dates of employment anyway. It is an issue between two individuals one of which doesn't work there any more it's got nothing to do with work

She's not going to give you that money back even if she does realise that she's been a cheeky arsehole. It's a hard lesson to learn

A couple of bits doesnt equal a weekly family shop. Text her back you didnt ralise she expected £70 leaving gift of someone who couldnt afford it.

Even if a friend offered something similar to me I would hust grab a bottle of wine plus nuts or whatever. I’d be embarassed for someone to spend so much money on me. If she thinks it’s a small shop then it’s jot problem her giving you ko eg back. It’d ask £60 back as the £12.34 wpuld cover a bottle of wine plus small snack.

She's a cheeky bitch. Get that money back. Who in their right mind would expect someone to spend 72 quid ?

I understand why you did it Op, but to be fair, it is a bit of an odd thing to offer to pay for someone’s shopping, which you did do even if you expected her to pick a box of chocolates and wine.

Most people would have chosen something inexpensive out of manners but unfortunately you got a chancer here to saw an opportunity and took it.

A big lesson learned.

The OP is young and by her own admission isn't versed in work etiquette.
It doesn't sound that theu were even 'friends' at work... This woman was her team leader/was nice to her when she worked there...
Given nature of r/s and job which I assume is close to national minimum - a cheery 'good luck', or card or contribution to a present were in order....
OP was being very generous assuming giving a bottle and chocs...

The CF took absolute advantage.... Assuming that there was no way OP thought cf was going to bill her an entire week's shop!

Ah bless you, I’m in my 30s but I still go through times where I freeze on the spot and only afterwards think to myself “Why on earth didn’t I stand up for myself?” DH says I’m too nice for my own good!
She took advantage and was exceedingly rude. You were only being kind and I can imagine it must’ve been a very awkward predicament. Use it as an experience you’ve learnt from and next time, specifiy exactly what you mean in any given situation so people can’t take the p*! xx

Ask her to name all her previous colleague’s leaving gifts that she contributed £70 towards (or even half that amount).

Also tell her you will be passing this onto the store/regional manager, colleagues and head office to ensure they are aware of what kind of employee she is - people talk.

Finally, if she keeps throwing age in your face, tell her she should have more than enough experience to know a) how much students earn and b) that it’s bad form to take advantage of people’s generosity.

Golly you are only 19 and she thought this was ok.
What you said was fine. What she did wasnt. And you shouldnt have paid it. I would have picked up about a fivers worth. Especially knowing you are a student.

Sigh MN keeps letting me comment then showing me all the other comments so my post looks completely irrelavant!
I can see now you have contacted her op. She sounds vile.
£70+ is not a small shop.
Im about her age. two kids. That IS my weekly shop.

Weirdest leaving gift ever.

Just buy some £10 flowers in future.

But you're very kind @LilacBearberry - just learn boundaries xx

That's horrible. When I once took but DD and her friend back to uni after holidays, friend hadn't got a penny to her name till loan arrived the following week. I said I would buy her some shopping in Asda, and I think she picked up about £12 worth, although I would have happily got her more. The friend was about your age, so definitely not about age like cf said.

She's under no obligation to give the money back and don't speak to your bosses, it's nothing to do with them. A few bits is 3 items minimum! I'm sorry she spent more than you were expecting but I think you can chalk it up to experience and be more specific in future. " Go and choose yourself a box of chocs".

She is a piss taker. Any normal person would be horrified to do it, or horrified to realise they got around end of the stick.
Now there is bad blood anyway I would absolutely push for the money. I would reply, no I didn't expect you to take a £70 gift. Maybe £15 max. Please can you give me back some money as £70 for a leaving gift from a 19 year old girl is obviously unfair.

I am not a confident person, hate confrontation and hate saying no but ffs if she rolled up with a weekly shop I would have said here is 20 quid that will go towards it and I would be telling her sorry I'm not getting your whole shop. That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

I would put pressure on her to return the money. She's trying it on. I'd send a very to the point text like

'Please return £62 to my account by the end of next week. I have bills to pay. I hope you appreciate that as a student I can't afford to give you a gift of £72. But I do want you to have a leaving gift, and £10 is a standard amount. It's the maximum I can afford. If I don't receive this money back, I'm afraid I will have to take this further. Should I forward our text conversation to (names of other managers/colleagues/higher management) to see what they think?'

Don't get drawn into an emotional discussion. She's relying on you being too embarrassed and awkward to pursue it. You have a paper trail.
And if she doesn't return the money, do speak to other managers. No decent manager will ignore this- she took advantage of a young member of staff and refused to put the mistake right. You have your bank statement as evidence. Hopefully the thought of all her ex colleagues knowing about it will be enough to get her to give it back!

I'm fuming for you OP. You tried to do something nice and she completely took advantage of you. I wish there was something you could do to get your money back.
#grabbyshoppingfucker

The me of now would have said no I actually don't have that much money on my card. But I was a people pleaser when I was younger up until I was 25 and started putting myself first. There was this one girl A who had severe depression- I just wanted to help her but I realized that it was always me buying her food or cigarettes when we met up and I lent her money around £50 which she never paid back.

Take it as a lesson OP. I've been to a store with a friend who didn't have any money on her. I told her to take a basket and get what she wanted. There are people who will take advantage of you if you let them.