To think this is quite rude? I paid for her £72.34 shopping.

[LilacBearberry]

I work part-time in a supermarket and it was someone's last shift. I do have a gift for her at home (as she didn't know her leaving date) but I told her to grab a few bits and I'll treat her (I didn't know what else to do).

The shopping came to £72.34! She then goes "thanks so much".

She also knows I'm a student :(

Maybe it's my fault for doing what I did, but don't you think that's quite rude?

Faking 🤞

And what starray said.

I would message her, but because I wasn't specific, she'll easily just play dumb

That's not a reason not to message her. I can't see any downside with messaging her at all.

Have you spoken to your parents about this?

I'm curious as to why you started this thread. Were you genuinely unsure whether she had been unreasonable or were you after sympathy or were you after advice? (All reasonable reason but I wish you would actually take some of the advice - EVERYONE has said she was unreasonable and a lot of us have suggested you contact her and say you made a mistake).

What did she buy?.

Well, we were having a slightly reasonable conversation about it, but then she sends this! Can't be bothered with it. I've tried to take your advice... Even though she was being kinda okay about it before this (saying how it seemed like a small shop to her, although "to someone young" (I thought that was a bit ) she could see how it may have been a lot for me and she was sorry, but then she only goes and says this. I'm just annoyed really. I actually got on well with her.

WTAF!!!!!!!!! OK, please please please send her a link to this thread. Please!

She's a twat. Everyone predicted correctly that she wouldn't own up to it.

Yes. Send the link.

PS there are some people on here who are amazing at drafting barbed replies to CFs. Hopefully one of them will be along shortly.

I wouldn’t start any more confrontation. I’d text her to politely say you’re unhappy and will be speaking to management. Then do so.

(I don’t think “a lot of people on the Internet think X” will affect her IYSWIM? Real life impact will)

Watch but what can management do? CF has Left The Building.

Look, I'm in my 40s. And I would NEVER even consider doing this to a colleague, at all, ever, because it's pisstaking cheeky fuckery. 'I'll treat you to a few bits.' 'Aw, that's very kind of you, but keep your money in your purse. It's been a pleasure working with you.' She KNOWS damn well she's a CF. She's being a twat about it, as CFs are.

'A few bits' is NOT 70 quid worth of groceries and I think you know that. Really hurtful and disappointed, tbh. We got on so well. But I feel taken advantage of and used. My youth has nothing to do with it. Everyone knows 'a few bits' is not 72 quid worth of shopping. What a pity.'

She knows she's a CF and is trying to justify it because people like this feel entitled to rip the piss out of people.

So now you've learned, hopefully, and practise saying 'NO' to such gits.

I think if they contacted her (not in a confrontational way but in a “what happened there?” way) and she was aware other people were aware that might do the trick.

Bullies rely on silence and shame as a tactic. She was hoping to embarrass the OP into keeping quiet about it.

'I feel like you took advantage of my youth and inexperience to go overboard with the shopping. I've learned my lesson, though.'

Could you send one back asking if she’d have spent £70 on you if you had left before her?

Cheeky fuckery doesn't even begin to describe her behaviour.

Has she started a new job? What would her new employers and colleagues think if they saw this thread?

I hope the press are sniffing around these parts.

Yes ask if she has ever spent £70 on a leaving gift for a colleague

Text this back:

'This was not what I offered. When I said 'a few bits' I did NOT mean a £70 food shop. I simply cannot afford to pay for it and I need you to transfer the full cost to me ASAP. If this does not happen I will escalate it with management.'

Bullies rely on silence and shame as a tactic. She was hoping to embarrass the OP into keeping quiet about it.

This is spot on.

Well done on starting the conversation with her, that can’t have been easy and now she knows you’re not going to lie down and take her crap, if nothing else then at least she won’t try anything like this with you in future.

It’s really not normal to give a colleague who’s your supervisor a £70 leaving gift and she knows it, her message just proves that she’s embarrassed and is trying to push the blame on to you.

As I see it you have 2 options a) chalk it up to experience and write off the £70 or b) message her back saying something along the lines of ‘thanks for understanding that it’s a lot of money for me, I did enjoy working it’s you and I wanted to give you a leaving gift and I think £10 is about average for these things so why don’t you send me £60 back and we’ll call it even’

OP what a rotten bastard your ex-colleague is - and to try and put her on cheeky fuckery back onto you.

I think I might still be stunned into paying the whole amount at 40, never mind at 19. Brazen piss taker. The shame is that you'll never offer this slightly quirky leaving favour again - I like the idea but this woman has shown you that it doesn't pay to be kind.

If you do threaten her with management, give her seven days to cough up. If she says, "What can they do now I've left?" tell her she'll find out if she doesn't cough up.

Is she the type who would be ashamed if she knew that you'd told others what she'd done?

Oh and £72 is not a small shop in anyone's books unless she has 14 kids.

If you do threaten her with management, give her seven days to cough up. If she says, "What can they do now I've left?" tell her she'll find out if she doesn't cough up.

Yes, this is important. Make her think there will be consequences, even if there won't be.

I hope the press are sniffing around these parts.

Me too. I bet the CF reads the DM.