To feel that you cant talk about being proud to bf?

[TwilightRiver]

Just to start I am not trying to be goady, and not wanting this to be bf vs ff.

I respect everyones right to choose how to feed their baby.

I haven been bf my lo for 5 months and am very proud of that fact. I have had very little problems and been fortunate enough to have avoided mastitis and thrush so far but its still been so bloody hard.

I have close friends that have babies amd chose to ff . I feel that i can't talk about it for fear of them thinking im getting at them or getting into a whole debate.

I also find that people find its's acceptable to make comments to a mum in regard to bf. 'Maybe theyre not getting enough' "They need water' 'no one else gets to feed, when you giving a bottle'. They wouldn't dream of making such comments to a mother whos ff or criticize her for her choice.

This is also extended to medical professionals. Here ff babies are weighed when born and again when transfered to hv. No weigh ins with midwife on return from hospital. where as bf babies are weighed on return fron hispital then 5 days then weekly. Apparently this is because they know how much ff babies are getting. Its like they are going back on the whole 'breast is best' and expecting you to fail. Or should be the same policy regardless of method of feeding.

All those saying no one cares, if no one cared, there wouldn't be so many defensive posts.

If you’re happy with your choice then why do you need the external validation?

They weigh breastfeeding babies in case there is an attachment issue and the baby isn’t getting enough milk. For goodness sake.

You sound ridiculous. I hope this post clears that up for you and saves you from saying this nonsense in real life.

Have your friends said something or have you decided they will be annoyed. I ff through choice and two of my closest friends did extended breastfeeding. No issue on either side with this.

I breast fed mine. like millions of other women, big deal just get on with it.

I was quite proud of bf ds1 as his birth was horrendous, I was drugged up and felt awful and probably had mild PND and it was a real struggle. Everything was really hard then and I stuck with it. He also slept awfully so I felt at the time that honestly that was the only thing I was doing right for him.

I think there is such an industry around young babies and so much advice, its very easy to feel like you are judged or are a failure. Whether bf is normal or not depends very much on what social/economic group you are in. I live in a relatively affluent area and while its normal to bf its also normal to switch to bottle feeding and go back to work. Its taken a lot of years for me to decide that ultimately, it is about being happy with your parenting decisions thats important, and knowing that you made the best decision for your family. But the right decision for your family is not the same for some one else and you will struggle find someone who makes all the same decisions as you. I am pretty proud I am able to stretch DH's income far enough that I can (just) afford to be a SAHM through the last couple of years. I wouldn't tell anyone that though as however I say it it would sound like a reflection on other people's choices.

Equating breast feeding with doing a shit is unnecessarily unpleasant

I was pleased to be able to breast feed because I found it easier but I considered myself lucky . Some women have to work really hard at it so for done it must feel like an achievement if they feel it’s important.
Equally I never worried about judgement because it’s my choice so I didn’t get helpful advice.

It’s not s contest but surely it shouldn’t be a reason to bash each other

Women should be supporting each other’s choices

its boring when people brag about their parenting, you are getting that vibe and that's why you feel you cant boast.

it’s a body function

That’s unfair Special Breastfeeding can take lot of hard work and effort.

Women who have struggled to breastfeed particularly in the face of family opposition have every right to feel proud.

I breastfed my twins for 18 months and even though I had supportive (mostly) daily and friends it was incredibly hard particularly in the early days.

It wasn’t really until they were six months old that it was “easy” or “natural”.

I am prouder of having breastfed my twins than I am of any of either of my degrees.

There’s nothing goady about that.

Twilight good for you!

? I've BF my second for nearly 7 months and never once thought I should be proud. I FF my first and never felt ashamed or that I wasn't doing my best. My first wouldn't BF, my second hates bottles (pain as we're trying to get her on to bottle for nursery).
I did however manage to change a nappy on wriggly baby no2, while conducting a conversation on how steam trains work with no1 and doing my kegals. That I'm proud of.

You can be proud, ignore the naysayers. Who's to say what constitutes an achievement for you? I wouldn't go banding it around though if I were you; your sense of achievement is not going to matter one jot to anybody else, and as you've already discovered there are a lot of people out there who want to make your feelings about yourself aaaaallll about them. You're proud? Must mean you're judging those who did things differently, right? Except that's total bollocks. But people can be sensitive like that, so best not to mention it unless you're very confident of the reception it will receive.

Sometimes if I’m really constipated I do feel a little bit proud after doing a shit...

If you think that no-one passes judgement for dd you're very wrong.

I was in the minority for dd my first dc after a very difficult birth. The MW's in hospital were horrid to me.
All my friends bf, although to be fair they never passed judgement on me. I happily sat there and discussed their bf'ing with them.

Nearly 14 years on from this, and subsequent dcs....I can honestly tell you, it's never discussed, never mentioned, no-one cares one bit.

Well I think doing every single feed day or night can be tough at times even if you don't have any issues. It's a commitment, you are quite tied to the baby (particularly if expressing doesn't work for you). I'm bfing my.2nd ds and he's now almost 2. I've made sacrifices to give my son the health benefits. But by saying that I imply that others can't be arsed. So I don't say it, because I wouldn't want to offend anyone. Hence, not many people hear that in since cases breastfeeding works brilliantly and no problems apart from the lifestyle one.

What a horrible thread full of mean spirited people. I've been BF my 5 day old newborn and am bloody proud. DS1 was a poorly baby and I felt like such a failure. Even if I switch to ff tomorrow I'm really grateful that I've been able to feed for 5 days

Dd = ff

By all means feel proud OP, but I'm not sure what you would need to discuss with your friends other than saying "I'm glad that BF has worked out well for me".

Of course you can be proud, it is very hard work.
Nothing like doing a poo, more like running a marathon!

I am prouder of having breastfed my twins than I am of any of either of my degrees
I find that ridiculous and rather sad

Breastfeeding isn't a choice for everyone.

I certainly think that you can be pleased it worked out for you, but the opposite of being proud is being ashamed, and I hate to think of anyone being ashamed to FF.

Anything that requires work is something that the worker can feel proud of. Why shouldn't they? Fuck I'd feel proud of managing l make up however many feeds properly in a week as well. I feel proud when I manage to get everyone through the day intact and productive, others may not be who is to say I shouldn't? Much like pain thresholds are all different so is effort.

I breastfed my four. I didn't find it an easy skill to learn and had more than my fair share of pain and discomfort while getting the hang of it. I also had every discouraging comment going from my family. So hell yeah, I'm proud that, in the face of all that, I did the best I could for my kids.

I would never judge anyone for formula feeding by the way; I think it's a personal choice.

Of course you can feel proud. It is an achievement you’ve managed through your attitude and effort. Well done.

I agree with you but it's not a popular opinion. You can't say anything positive about bf with salad saying that you know that not everyone can/wants to etc etc. You have to justify everyone else's choice to talk about something important to you. We shouldn't have to justify the biological norm and it should be celebrated as we have such awful rates in the uk.

I think you should feel proud. I do. It was really hard at the start and I could have taken what would personally be an easier option but I chose not to because I think it’s better for my baby and me.
I’d equate it to being proud that I walked to the shops rather than driving. It’s not a huge thing but I think that each step you take where you do the harder option because you think it’s wirth it is worth a feeling of pride.
I appreciate that some people can’t walk to the shops, but if I have the option and I do it to improve my fitness and save a bit of money then I think it’s right to be proud of each walk.

So many comments on this thread are simply proving your point, OP.

To those saying "what is there to feel proud about?", who are you to decide whether someone can feel proud or not? If the OP feels proud then good for her. Others may not feel proud and that's fine too. This place is full of too many defensive people trying to make themselves feel better by putting others firmly back in their place. It's a horrible trait in a person.