To protect my daughter? Trigger warning

[TiredMumToTwo]

WWYD - would you let your 5 year old DD stay overnight in a house with an adult who had been accused of historical sexual abuse of a minor but been found not guilty at Crown Court?

Not a chance in f**kin hell would she be left there.

A child doesn’t have to stay overnight with GPs OP. They can still have a relationship otherwise. Why is your DH prepared to take that chance?

Absolutely no way.

I know I can’t know he’s 100% not guilty and the CPS obviously thought that there was enough evidence / cause to charge him in the first place

I would want more information about the accusation and the reason why the not guilty verdict was reached. That said, would you take the risk of leaving your child in this situation? I wouldn’t.

What about all the people who haven't yet been caught? Or in mumsnet case, accused. All those teachers, neighbours, family friends who associate with your children on a daily basis? The only sage thing is never to leave your child anywhere, not even at school.

FUCKno.

No, no and no

agree that there is no need to let your dc stay away from home whatever the situation

I don’t believe that you would risk the safety of your own 5 year old What’s. And innocent until proven guilty doesn’t man we shouldn’t be cautious about allowing those accused of abuse unsupervised access to children. It’s a legal principle that means that the state can’t hand down a pubishment until a charge has been proven in court. It doesn’t mean someone literally is innocent until they are proven guilty. Failure to safeguard your child from potential sexual abuse is wrong. Too much historic sexual abuse happened because people ignored signs that someone was a danger to children or though someone was innocent and harmless because they hadn’t been convicted of anything.

Would not be happening

Fwiw my children have spent only a couple (older ones) to none (one year old) nights with grandparents

It doesnt have to happen

Kalinka - I’ll never know why a not guilty verdict was found as the jury don’t give their reasons

@Pengggwn your sister is more likely to abuse your child than a total stranger is. I mean families in General, not just your sis

No. Not convicted of sexual offences that they have been charged with, in no way equates to "innocent". We will be putting children at major risk if we always assume innocence in these cases.

Just seen your second post. Why is it necessary for the child to stay at the grandparents overnight? They can still have just as much fun with granny during the day. With you and their dad there too. I really would be putting my foot down. Don’t care if grandma is upset or offended. Care even less if stepgrandad is.

Pengggwyn - yes I do but DH & his whole family do not - so I’m kind of on my own on this one.

Big fat no!

And I would want to see details of the court case before i or my kids had ANY contact with them too, because I think we all know that being found not guilty doesn't always mean the person is innocent.

obviously whatshalli means that relatives and people known to children are mainly the predators in abuse.
not strangers.

Ds 3 is 15 months hes never spent night away from us

Dd is not far off 5, she has slept at grandparents house maybe once as a toddler

Dc1+2 (8&9) have slept at grandparents a couple of times with us and a couple of times without us

I dont really get the need for dc to go off sleeping at relatives houses unless there is a reason

LittleMyLikes - it’s not really about her having to stay over it’s more that by not letting it happen in the future, I am having to stake my claim that I don’t believe the not guilty verdict. My step daughter currently stays there one night a week and both her parents are happy for this to continue so I am reallly going to have to put my neck out & be firm against the whole family including dd’s Dad.

Do you know how many sex offenders get away with it in court? Look at the stats. No way known would I allow my child anywhere near them.