MIL wearing white

[2016mumma]

Hi all,
So I don't drip feed but too long to write it all down...so slight overview incase it's relevant.
My MIL and I always got on brilliantly until my DS was born a year ago, since then she has been opinionated on every decision we make as his parents and if we ask her not to do something she will infront of us go against our wishes, with the excuse of it's what Grandmas do. That's a whole different thread.
We get married in September and yesterday MIL announced she was wearing a off white dress for the occasion. AIBU to be a little hurt by this I believed the etiquette of weddings was only the bride wears white?
I am trying really hard not to take it personally and as a fingers up to me ( although this is something she would do) she always wants to be the centre of attention and will play the victim if ever we try to discuss the way she is with DS.
If I am being reasonable in that it's not the done thing to do, do we say something or keep our mouths shut for the sake of keeping the peace.

[WheresTheHooferDoofer]

If she wears the dress, people will judge her.

Knowing the people in my town, not only will they assume she's trying to upstage the bride, they'll assume it's also sour grapes as she's no longer number 1 in her son's life.

[Fishface77]

I wouldn’t ignore her.
Tough shit if her and her flying monkeys don’t like it they don’t have to come!

[WineAndTiramisu]

Ignore her, she's looking for a reaction. She'll get laughed at if she wears white to the wedding, not you so don't worry!

I'd start being busy when she wants to visit as well, or book her in as lunch is being served, at least your DS gets his lunch before the chocolate then!

[PhuntSox]

Tell her your mother and aunt are also both wearing an off white suit!

[englishnose]

Annoying as it must be, let her get on with it. She will look like a right tit and everyone will think she’s a tosser.
(SIL was going to wear a knee length, white lace dress. She chickened our in the end, I was a little disappointed that everyone didn’t get to see what a twat she can be.)

[PhuntSox]

Ask everyone to wear ivory/cream/beige and wear a red dress yourself, will look amazing!

[candypanda]

My step mil wore an off white satin 2 piece top/skirt thing. I was really upset and when we confronted them after as it ruined some photos his dad and her said I must have have been jealous and bitter....

[CheeseyToast]

I genuinely don't understand all the drama.
Wear what you want and let everyone else wear what they want. If she wants to be a massive twat so be it.
My bil wore shorts and at shirt to my brother's wedding presumably just to highlight what a massive twat he is. No one got upset. If it gave him pleasure to be disrespectful, great. Whatever.

[CotswoldStrife]

Oh dear - I can see it would be so frustrating for you if she sticks to this plan, but she will make herself look very silly if she does which may be some small consolation.

[Missingstreetlife]

This is heading for no contact, I would not let her be with dc unsupervised. Bitch

[Blackteadrinker77]

Get your friends to start a conversation at the hen night about a mythical wedding they went to where the awful MIL wore off white to the wedding.

My DD gets married in June and would be upset by this.

[RidingWindhorses]

Does it really matter? She's going to look like an arse.

[Tarraleah]

She will attract attention, for all the wrong reasons.
Ignore. Look phenomenal and let her rage. Frankly, she could safely wear an attention-seeking outfit (imagine a stunning bright red gown) and there would be nothing you could do. She will look absolutely pathetic in white! (or cream/gold/powdery silver...)
You will be the bride, and look like it. Anyone who tries to upstage the bride on her wedding day is just pitiful.

[aaaaargghhhhelpme]

I would do the tinkly laugh. Oh but mil you must be joking surely as you'll look an enormous prat!

Then leave her to stew that you know her game but you're not going to rise to it. If she wears it she's the only one who'll look a numpty.

More important that your DH is on your side and prepared to stand up to her.

[Blackteadrinker77]

Get your friends to start a conversation at the hen night about a mythical wedding they went to where the awful MIL wore off white to the wedding.

My DD gets married in June and would be upset by this.

[ohamIreally]

@livingthegoodlife I think I was at your sister's wedding. MIL was an awkward type insisted on wearing white/cream, and marrying into a culture where the MIL walks the groom up the aisle. It was cringeworthy and then the bride turned up looking fabulous and the MIL just looked like the spiteful prick she was.

[Mxyzptlk]

He offered straight away to say something but she would know it came from me

Not if he's got the gumption to say something that actually comes from him.
Eg "Mum, I don't want you to wear anything resembling white to our wedding because you'll look ridiculous."

Also, he should stand up to his brothers if they are being taken in by her rubbish.

[Missingstreetlife]

Have a lovely day

[mumsiedarlingrevolta]

Ah my brilliant MIL wore a white-ish dress.
I was initially horrified but she was 60+.
No one thought she was the blushing bride.
And I adored her.
It was fine although not in my comfort zone AT ALL

[MrsMaxwell]

My MIL wore white AND shagged one of our friends.

I didn’t really give a shit though as I can’t stand the silly cow and she showed herself right up

[Tink2007]

I would want to say something but let her dig her own grave. People will talk about her at the wedding.

[KimmySchmidt1]

She can only possibly make you look better by comparison! If people notice they will pity her for being so sad as to try and compete with the bride! Don’t stress about it - she may as well wear a sign round her neck that says ‘I’m a twat’!

[Gladiola44]

My MIL wore white, too. She looked great and I never gave it a second thought. Why would I be upset about that? It was obvious who the bride was. Bridesmaids are traditionally supposed to wear white, too, a la Pippa Middleton. I think it looks lovely.

[candypanda]

My step mil wore an off white satin 2 piece top/skirt thing. I was really upset and when we confronted them after as it ruined some photos his dad and her said I must have have been jealous and bitter....

[Coldilox]

Offer one of the waiting staff £50 to "accidentally" spill something dark and saucy down her during the meal.