Should men pay for dates or at least offer to pay?

[lottieandmia22]

This is a subject I have a lot of mixed feelings about really. On one hand I can see that it's not fair to expect the man to pay. If he was going on many dates initially he'd be severely out of pocket.

BUT my experience of men who don't at least offer to pay is that later on they seem generally tight. OTOH I was very put off by a man who made huge grand gestures.

What have your experiences been?

We are either equal to men or we're not. If we are equal, we should pay our way. Either go Dutch or take it in turns to pay.

Too many women are vocal about demanding equality in the workplace, then expect men to pick up the tab when dating. Equality works both ways.

I like going halves. No expectation for more or a second date just incase. Plus if it's a first date, particularly offline, I want us to start as we should continue, on a completely equal footing. Men who insist on paying and get pushy about it when I say I'd rather pay halves make me uncomfortable.

I wouldn't go on a date with a man who thought "more effort is expected from a woman".

In fact, I don't even know what it means.

In my opinion any woman who expects a man to pay is a gold digger.

good god, are we back in the 1970s! Feminism seems to have passed some people buy!

in the age of internet dates, a date is just a first meeting of strangers, and should probably be a drink or a coffee, so you alternate drink rounds.

It's been a long long time since I dated, but I never paid, it wouldn't have occurred to me

Definitely one or two grabby princesses on this thread.

Putting clean clothes on is hardly the same level of effort as colouring your hair and makeup.

As alluded to in an earlier post, you have no idea if a bloke has forked out for new wardrobe prior to a date. Or are you assuming that most men just clean their teeth and change their pants 5 mins before walking out the front door?

'Too many women are vocal about demanding equality in the workplace, then expect men to pick up the tab when dating. Equality works both ways.'

Except that demanding equality in the workplace does not mean that it happens...

Sonlypuppyfat - it wouldn't have occurred to you to pay your way in life like an adult? Really?

I am genuinely curious what age you are. Not being goady, but wondering if this is a generational thing?

A fair few posters make me want to him my head against a wall.

The thing is though, however much we want equality of the sexes it is not there. Women are more vulnerable because we are the ones who can bear children whilst the man can bugger off and pretend he had nothing to do with it.

By continuing the “women are vulnerable little fliers who need men to pay for them, it’s hindering equality rather than helping it.

Men are also still paid more than women in every job area.

You’d never split a bill in proportion to salary though?

I think men who offer to pay seem kinder if they earn more.

How do you know how much someone earns when you go out on a date with them?

Woman should only expect men to pay if they see thenselves as a commodity to be bought.

halves. I don't want to be paid for my time. And I certainly don't trade a new lipstick and a quick shag for the price of a dinner and a bottle of plonk.

50/50. We are equal. There is no other way.

I think it could be a generational thing, I've been with the same man now for over 30 years, I grew up in a working class town the boys I knew had good pit jobs or car factories. And it was the way we all were

Men are also still paid more than women in every job area.

Really

I bloody hate these threads.

Pay your own way FFS!

Stop couching entitlement as 'chivalry', 'politeness', or 'romantic'.

Grow the fuck up, and pitch in your share. You're owed nothing nor should you be.

Tbh when I was young and single i had far more disposable income than most men I dated I was a qualified nurse working irregular shifts May be that says more about the type of men I dated though

Quite AhNow there was a thread a while back about somebody being offended because a man held the door open for them they were equal they didn't need anyone holding the door for them ,ladies before gentlemen was old fashioned etc etc, people can't have it both ways .

I like a man who can take charge of things. I like to be asked out, with him choosing the place and paying for it.

If you are going to go halves then you need to tell the person that at the time of the invite, give them a say on where you go and check it is within their budget. I don't think that faffing is very romantic. I'd much rather he just pick a place within his budget and be done with it.

I agree about men who make it into a grand gesture because I think they can be entitled. He should discreetly take care of it and never mention it again.

Personally I'd rather go halves

I'd much rather he just pick a place within his budget and be done with it.

How about picking a place within your budget and you offering to pay? No?????

I don't think that faffing is very romantic.

How is choosing where to meet together and splitting the bill “faffing”?

I know far too many women that have used the "men pay for the first date" as a meal ticket.