Was I right to inform HV?

[horseyhorsey123]

My friend has an almost 3 month old who she is planning on weaning soon. I've tried talking to her about the new recommendations, but she seems to think I've only left my own kids weaning until 6 months out of choice rather than because that's what the experts agree on. I wouldn't have said anything at all if her DD were a bit older, but 3 months seems really early. I do see why people start a little earlier, like 5 months.

Anyway, I was talking to my HV earlier about my own kids, and mentioned this to her. She said she'll pass it on to friend's HV and they'll probably arrange a visit at some point. I made sure that I wasn't reporting her as such, because she's really great and it's not like I have concerns as such. I just felt she hadn't really understood. She doesn't go to baby groups, so probably hasn't had that kind of exposure to modern weaning.

But now I'm worried it will be reported as a safe-guarding concern. There's a big custody battle going on with her stupid ex and I don't want this to go against her, but I just thought she needed a professional's opinion before she started. Who knows, the HV might say it's fine and to crack on!. Fair enough.
I made it clear that she hasn't started weaning yet, so there's no problem at the moment.

I realise I'm going to get a lot of YABU here. It came from a good place. I just care s lot about the baby.

Urgh.

I hope karma bites you hard on the arse, OP.

People are so short sighted for example " a baby for the first six months must only have milk " FGS.

Babies are not robots . They are individuals with different needs.

Our highly specialist prem baby community nurses advised me to start weaning at 12 weeks due to extreme reflux our DD had.

It was causing her failure to thrive .My teen daughter has not suffered adversley at all.

OP its none of your bloody business what she does or doesnt do - why do people assume their way is always the right way ?

I'm surprised that people are saying the guidelines were 3 months when their babies were born 15-20 years ago. DS1 is 19, and the advice we were given then was definitely 4-6 months. I still have the book my HV gave me at the time - NHS birth to 5 years - and I have just checked in it to confirm this. DS2 was born in 2002, and the guidlines were still the same, ie 4-6 months, but changed about a year later to six months.

If I were her, we would be friends no longer, OP. So you wouldn't have to worry about my baby because you'd never see it again.

lemon

Mother unwilling to follow professional advice and fully engage with up to date information, isolating herself and baby and already had one concern reported to a safeguarding service.

That’s why it could cause her shit from her ex.

May as well just write your ‘friend’ a letter saying. ‘I’m better than you and the HV agrees’.

Surely there is no requirement to attend baby groups? As long as you are hygienic and consistant, nearly all babies will do fine on any reasonable regime.

Ratting out a friend without clear evidence of neglect or abuse is very low indeed.

Early solids are now correlated with lower, not higher, incidence of allergies. More and more doctors are recommending tastes of solids at earlier ages, and the 6 month (or even later!) recommendations may be why so many of the "natural moms" I know have kids who are allergic to half of any restaurant menu.

I started weaning both mine at 16 weeks on the advice of dietician and paediatrician due to reflux and cows milk allergy. Both drank very poor amounts of their prescription formulas and were failing to thrive. Reducing their reliance on milk was the best thing I did for my children who were very much happier for it.
You don't always know people's circumstances. I would have been inclined not to have said anything.

I never thought I'd be on a thread saying this but-

MYOB. Some friend you are.

YABVU. Creepy snitch!

Wait! Last op post, yesterday 18.21 I'm cooking dinner Either dinner is taking a long time or this is a wind up!

Not sure this is even believable tbh. It's a coincidence you were talking to your HV at the same time that you have fake concerns for your friends child who you clearly judge.

Anyway, I was talking to my HV earlier about my own kids, and mentioned this to her. She said she'll pass it on to friend's HV and they'll probably arrange a visit at some point. I made sure that I wasn't reporting her as such, because she's really great and it's not like I have concerns as such. I just felt she hadn't really understood. She doesn't go to baby groups, so probably hasn't had that kind of exposure to modern weaning.

If she's a fully functioning adult, then I assume she has no difficulty with understanding the various information she reads.

Both my DC, who are 16 & 15 were weaned from 3 months, and there's no allergies or gastro issues at all.

I think you need to have this conversation with your 'friend' and let her decide if she wants you around while she's already in the middle of a stressful situation with her ex and take it from there.

Who needs enemies with friends like you around.......

Falmer maybe her "friend" contacted a chef to get them to judge her on her cooking?

Sparkly Still not sure if this was a wind up or real?

Op is still cooking dinner.
I might have a chat with her HV about how long its took her.
At babygroup all the mums can do dinner in under an hour. Tut tut.